Ottomatic For the People Articles

The saga of the new bed

Perhaps you recall that wayyyy back in August, I spent a significant amount of time digging out our master bedroom so that my husband wouldn't divorce me because it had become quite cluttered. This, naturally, led to multiple discussions about What We Should Do In Here, with Otto never even once agreeing with me that "set fire to everything and walk away" was a good option. (Hmph.) We agreed that Real Furniture---not the "half of my bedroom set from my first marriage plus random other pieces" assortment we currently have---would be great, and we even agree on what sort of furniture we would...

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A very special love language

Obviously my husband is a very special person TO ME, but in 2018 he became a lot more important to a bunch of other people as well, people like his boss and several boards of various Important Things, and so it seemed like he was busy or just plain not here for large segments of the year. Well, 2019 would be different, of course, because he's really going to pull back on the travel this year. He said. And he meant it, I'm sure. That was the intention. Otto has very good intentions. (Also, he's cute. And recently our dishwasher drain clogged up somehow and he fixed it like some sort of home...

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2017: What. A. Year.

Chickadee has been home---intermittently, to be sure, as her college pals are mostly elsewhere, and as often as not, that means I'm kissing the back of her head as she leaves for a day or three to be with them---and that means certain things are assured: 1) Her "debris field" (as Otto likes to call it) is a constant reminder that my child may grow and mature but will always be comfortable and, to some extent, toddler-esque in her childhood home, and 2) The time will come when she is lounging on the couch, looks up from her phone, sighs with disappointment, fixes me with a baleful stare, and...

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Perhaps the most exciting time of my life

If pressed, I am going to tell you that the best two days of my life were when my kids were born. (If pressed further---and/or if Otto is there---I will slot my wedding to him in a very close third place.) Bringing forth new life and the miracle of birth and oh hey ALSO having two human beings grow from screaming lumps into semi-functional adults is pretty nifty, not gonna lie. So let us assume that those are the "best" two days of my life, okay? THAT SAID, the last few weeks of my life contain two notable events which are giving my children a run for their money. Not only that, but my...

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News you can use (for… umm… something?)

Chickadee has been giving me a hard time lately about the blog. "You never write," she complains. "Why don't you write anymore?" I look at her, and she looks at me, and I shrug. Sometimes I follow it up with the usual excuses---I don't want to violate anyone's privacy; my life is pretty boring; there's other stuff that's more important right now. Those things are true, but another truth lies between us, unspoken: It has been a hard summer, for all of us, but especially between her and me. And the kids are theoretical adults (or close to it; heavy emphasis on "theoretical," too) and whatever...

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We are all my little dog and her coat

It's a very good thing I never actually promise to come back to writing here regularly. I think about it---a lot---but in the end, it doesn't seem to happen. Oh well. Hey! This blog is worth EXACTLY what you paid for it! (So there.) Things are rolling along, here, and everything is both going WHOOSH TOO FAST and also OMGGGGGGG SO SLOW. You know how Hermione has a time turner in the Harry Potter books so she can be in multiple places at once? Imagine I had one of those time turners and then I somehow ran it over with my car and tried to use it, anyway. Everything is taking too long but is...

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Lest you think he never misbehaves

Hey, remember when I used to write regularly about all the cute/sweet stuff my husband did? (Hey, remember when I used to write regularly, period? You hush.) He is still cute and sweet. He is still my favorite, especially when I get to see him, which is not all that often, because he's a busy guy. For example, he was just away on a work trip being a rock star, and I'm super proud of him, but also I totally let Duncan have his side of the bed while he was gone, because Duncan never abandons me just to go "teach" and "learn" and "be a good citizen of the world." (Duncan's interests lie mainly...

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That about sums it up

As we continue barreling down the road to graduation (AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEE), life refuses to stop, regardless of the MANY MANY FEELS that seem to be popping up everywhere. Sheesh. To top it off, today is Otto's and my 9th anniversary. I'm not entirely sure why he's still here, but I do bake a lot of cookies and stuff, so who knows. He continues to be my anchor in the very best sense of the metaphor: my strength, my favorite, my dependable partner in everything, really, but most notably in late-night-television-watching-and-tormenting-the-dogs-with-popcorn. Everyone should have an Otto. But not...

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Things I Might Once Have Said

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