Oh, I know it’s only been a couple of days. It could take up to a week, everything we read told us. Maybe two! I was prepared to be patient about it, except that I’d forgotten something sort of important.
I’m not a patient person. (Surprise!)
And it didn’t help that a family member who also has a pool sent out some pictures to demonstrate that their newly-opened pool was just as frightening as ours, but then they dumped in a gazillion gallons of liquid shock and just 24 hours later the water was fresh and clean and beautifully blue. Hmph. We prefer the old fashioned method of adding only enough chemicals to cause acute neurological damage each day, rather than emptying our bank accounts and all in one day making the water pretty but capable of instantly killing any renegade hippos who might wander by for a swim. (more…)
Yesterday Otto got a wild hair—and by “wild hair” I of course mean that he set out to do EXACTLY what he’d been telling me for two months he was going to do, but I was just sort of hoping ignoring him and practicing denial might stave off the inevitable—and declared it an Outside Work day.
We have a couple of acres, here, and the best part about it is that most of it is WOODS. Woods are awesome, because they’re shady, and they present lots of opportunities for your children to go out and muck around and turn over logs and find gross bugs, but BEST OF ALL, woods do not require mowing, digging, pruning, or other maintenance. They just sort of stand there.
Unfortunately, we also have a rather large garden plot across the front of the house, and then that whole area inside the fence back around the pool, and both areas are not unlike Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. There could totally be bobcats hiding in there, is all I’m saying. (more…)
Last night, I had my bi-annual dose of Being A Faculty Wife.
Because Otto is a nice guy and also because he likes to entertain and perhaps ESPECIALLY because his department will reimburse him a whopping $8 per warm body (woo! let’s buy the name-brand soda!), we hosted a barbecue for some of his students. I had my inauguration into this ritual last semester, and I have to say that at the time I found it quite amusing. Especially the part where the students who’d been around for the PREVIOUS gathering at his bachelor pad sat around saying things like, “Otto, dude, you have real furniture now! It’s nice,” and then another student followed up with, “But, wait. Otto, you have KIDS now? WHOA!”
So yesterday it was time to mix up onion dip and put out the deck chairs and open our home to a bunch of young people who all regard me as a possible side-effect hallucination of their final projects and hangovers. Because DUDE, Otto isn’t supposed to have a LIFE much less a WIFE. And yet here I am, providing snacks and sliced tomatoes to put on their hamburgers. WEIRD. (more…)
I’m afraid I need to interrupt Love Thursday to bring you a much more pressing matter. (Pssst! Do not fret! I am likely to give you Love Friday, instead.)
Otto and I are having a small disagreement. I would like some input on our dilemma, and to make it fair I won’t even tell you which side of the argument each of us is on. It will be TOTALLY BLIND, because there’s NO WAY you’ll be able to suss out who is who. What? Oh, look over there! Something SHINY!
This is a matter of great importance—I mean, it must be, as it represents the first real argument of our nearly-year of marriage—and since both of us have extremely hard heads and each believe our own personal positions to be correct, I just feel like it’s imperative that we open this up to the floor.
After all, if you can’t use your readers as your moral compass (provided that they say what you want them to), WHAT IS THE POINT OF SOCIETY? (more…)
Otto had a “work thing” this weekend, and by that I mean that I said goodbye to him on Thursday morning and other than the occasional in-the-wee-hours mumble of “what time is it? did you just get home?” we didn’t see each other again until last night.
Well, that’s not quite accurate—he called late yesterday morning to say he needed to bring some folks over for a late lunch, and could I get to the store? The kids and I ran over to Publix for cold cuts and supplies to make banana pudding; the former so that we could all have sandwiches, and the latter because when it comes to embracing Southern hospitality, my children are ALL ABOUT pudding and Nilla Wafers. Then I got to have lunch with the group before Otto left to take everyone back to the airport. So there was some meaningful conversation inserted in there, sweet nothings like “Hello, I remember you! I think!” and “Dude, why did you take out the ketchup? Do you think people want ketchup sandwiches??” to round out the day. (more…)
(I like how that word can be used to mean… pretty much whatever you’d like it to mean. It might be great! It might be terrifying!)
The other night as we were finishing up dinner, I leaned over and kissed Otto. I don’t remember why. Probably just because he’s kissable.
Monkey saw this and responded with delight, because he’s going to grow up to be a perverted voyeur. Er, I mean, because he is a little ray of sunshine. “Again!” he demanded. I raised an eyebrow at him. “Kiss AGAIN!” So we kissed again. Hey, there’s no need to beg or anything.
And then we had to part ways (again!) and later, when it was time for me to move down here, which involved a long drive and then mortgaging ourselves into submission before the children arrived.
My point here is that it’s possible that Otto and I never really had a good stretch of time to just hang out, just the two of us, and enjoy our newlywed bliss. (more…)
This Love Thursday, I’d like to acknowledge that I married the sort of man who will tell someone “we just ordered my new computer and I’m dancing!” and then—when they say “I’d like to see that”—makes a video and posts it to the internet.
Truthfully, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Laughter is good for the soul, and Otto will be nourishing my soul with his utter dorkitude for a long, long time.
Chickadee was sitting at the breakfast table this morning, trying to finish the homework I’d cruelly sent her to bed before completing, last night. She was to bring in a list of at least twenty idioms and what they mean, and was on number eighteen and struggling to finish.
Monkey was spinning in circles, being a general distraction, and Otto had retreated to the office to get away from it all, I think. I was trying to help, but running out of expressions. Plus, it had taken entirely too long to get her to understand what the “can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear” saying means.
Of course, I was also sort of busy mediating the bickering that was happening.
“Otto!” I called into the other room in exasperation. “Do you have any ideas?”
Me: I’m taking out a loaf of beer-cheese bread to bring up with us later. Otto: Wow! Me: What? Otto: That’s awfully generous of you! Me: Um. It’s BREAD. Otto: No, it’s BEER-CHEESE BREAD. Me: Yes. Well. I thought I should bring them something. Otto: But it’s BEER-CHEESE BREAD. Me: I WILL MAKE SOME MORE FOR YOU. SHEESH. They’ve had our children for an entire day and night! Otto: You’re sucking up so that they’ll take the kids again. Me: Yes.
