Woulda Coulda Shoulda

Last night was an extremely auspicious occasion. For the first time EVER, Otto and I went out for the evening and left the kids to make their own dinner, finish their homework, and put themselves to bed. ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. (Not that we’ve ever done it on a weekend, either, come to think of it. But doing this on a school night seemed particularly weird, somehow.) The fact of the matter is that they’re plenty old enough, I am just overprotective and also once Chickadee almost burned the house down with a lamp (reading after hours! my little nerdling!) (the house wasn’t really almost burned down, but she did burn a circle on her headboard), so leaving them alone with the oven on felt like a leap of faith. (Chickadee: “Don’t worry! I’m sure the pizza only needs three hours or so! KIDDING!”)

Anyway, it was time for another Fancy Shindig because my husband’s employer likes to have these things. So we gussied up and headed out, making the children promise to call 911 if anything caught on fire while we were gone.

I wore my new(ish) platform stilettos, which caused Monkey to say, “Whoa. You are REALLY tall now!” I had to promise it was temporary before we left. (more…)

Okay, tomorrow I swear we shall return to things less death-and-despair themed. Probably. Not that I’m ever going to be Little Susie Sunshine, but I’m starting to depress myself.

That did not, however, stop me from ruminating a bit on murder (oh goodie, more death!) today over at Off Our Chests. Sorry.

Tomorrow: Kittens! Bunnies! Rainbows! And possibly Licorice’s new doggie door, and the hilarity therein.

I often marvel at the clear evidence of fate and genetics bringing me back what I dish out to the universe by way of my children not-so-subtly throwing some of the same in my face. Karma has a twisted sense of humor, it turns out.

Today over at Off Our Chests, I’m thinking about my most fearful little apple, and what tending to him has done for this mama tree. It’s a good thing, I hope, though we both have a long way to go. Courage is easier to come by when it’s for your kid, I find.

I hope you’ll come over and add to the conversation.

Two items of mixed note for you this dreary, rainy Tuesday:

1) I got an email from the nice people at SHAPE magazine, letting me know that Woulda Coulda Shoulda was nominated in their first ever blog awards as one of the blogs that keep them happy and sane, and I should spread the word! And ask for votes! I’m losing in their poll (oh noes!) and I’m trying to care but failing. I mean, sure, um, yay? But this is some sort of healthy living thing, so I feel certain the nomination was a mistake in the first place. Also, I don’t do the beg for votes thing. I’m just letting you know. Now let’s all giggle and move on.

2) Today is National Coming Out Today, so I’m over at Off Our Chests admitting that I wasn’t always exactly the picture of sensitivity when it comes to this issue, possibly because I spent most of my teens as a real jerk.

It’s Tuesday, so that means I’m over at Off Our Chests today. And—fair warning—today’s post isn’t for those of delicate constitution where saying the names of body parts is somehow alarming.

I don’t spend a lot of time discussing vaginas… I mean, no more than the average person (what, exactly, would be an “average” amount of time discussing vaginas…?), but today I am all about the lady flower. And I’m not holding back.

Go check it out if you can stand some frank discussion. Because it’s become quite clear you’re not going to get it from today’s product marketing campaigns (quelle surprise).