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Just a heads up (w/ bonus embarrassment)

The fine folks who host my sites are doing a server migration this weekend, which means things will stop working for a day or two and maybe even appear to have vanished. Don’t panic! Everything will be back and fine in short order.

Assuming that you see this post before the site goes down, here’s a somewhat blurry picture one of the show’s directors sent to me for fun:

You know, while I’m standing there in a leather corset, holding a whip, watching a fellow cast member demonstrate a triple orgasm. As one does. (Hey, if you’re local, we have three more shows, so come on out if you’re so inclined.)

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Tiny little bits of info no one needs

Trampoline: It finally stopped freezing and/or raining, so both children have had the chance to try out the trampoline. True to their individual personalities, Chickadee pretty much treats it like a hammock and lies there waiting for someone to peel her a grape, whereas Monkey BOINGed around for ten minutes and then wanted to argue about whether or not the dogs could join him (no).

School: Today was the first day of Monkey’s second week at the high school, and so far his only complaint is that there’s not enough work. I… yeah. I don’t know, either.

Weekend: After the aforementioned first week of school ALL I WANTED IN THE WORLD was a relaxing weekend after five straight days of being wound tighter than a spring. I sort of got my wish… I got a stomach bug! (Yay?) When a friend asked via email on Sunday if I was feeling better, I reported that I was no longer sick but was “dragging around in a dehydrated state of extreme self-pity.” I can’t say I recommend it.

Dogs: I feel that pack integration is now complete, as Duncan will simply walk up to Licorice and start gnawing on her neck and/or ears when he wants to play. And she lets him. They bark, they play, they seem to understand they’re stuck with each other.

Everything else: There is nothing else. I am just over here guzzling Gatorade and waiting to feel human again.

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Two+ loose ends tied up with… something

Once again, life is boring. WE LOVE BORING. Boring is awesome. But not all that great when it comes to blogging material. Still, I’ll take it over less boring. Good for me, not as interesting for you. Let me make it up to you with some zucchini brownies I made. What? You can’t taste them through the blog? Fine, here’s two things I bet have been keeping you up at night (I mean, surely) that I can resolve for you:

Thing the first! I love it when People Have Opinions on stuff I’m dumb about. I read all of your beauty product suggestions and being cheap, decided I really wanted to try the Drew Barrymore Flower BB cream stuff… only to discover that my local Wal-Borg DOESN’T CARRY IT. Woe! Despair! Well, a bunch of you also recommended Bare Minerals and other mineral powder things, so somehow I ended up with some Neutrogena Mineral Powder Foundation For Super Sensitive-ish Skin on that trip, and it’s SO NATURAL LOOKING you can’t even tell I’m wearing ANYTHING. (In other words, it’s useless. Covers nothing.) I am going to try to make it to Target to scout out some of your suggestions there, but it sounds like I need to make a trip into the Big City for a Sephora or Ulta type store. BUT I also bought some Olay/Cover Girl Simply Ageless Undereye Concealer (based on your recommendations) and THAT I like very much. So thank you.

Thing the second! Turns out that the lumps under the pool liner were actually not rocks, but “normal accumulation of something something technical.” (I paid a lot of attention to the explanation, as you can tell.) A guy came and felt around and then dove into the deep end with a mallet and pounded the lumps flat again. Our long national pool nightmare may finally be over. For now. (Maybe; it’s still raining every day so we don’t really know if it’s still leaking or not. Fun!)

Bonus thing (thing the second-point-five?) Summer math is DONE, grades are IN, and I mailed Chickie’s guidance counselor to make sure her schedule was properly revised. Between the math class and a bit of a curriculum mismatch between the semester(ish) she did up north, her desired scheduled has apparently been rendered… impossible. So that’s delightful. Fortunately she is so busy/tired with band camp at the moment, the inevitable freak-out over that has been postponed, at least temporarily.

As you were. Or come over here for brownies. Either way.

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No, really

I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you a fantastic made-up story and convince you that it’s true. I’ve never been a fan of April Fool’s Day—as much as I love a good story, the calculated intent to trick never sits well with me—but we may as well get it out of the way.

So: Licorice is pregnant! Also, Licorice is actually a cat. Who recently won the lottery. SWEARSIES.

We good? Okay, then. (I know. I’m not very good at the whole trickster thing.)

Instead of that nonsense, I have a VERY SERIOUS burning question which I urge you to consider carefully because this is IMPORTANT. If you like eggs, and you like hard-boiled and deviled eggs, can you please explain to me why it is now de rigueur for deviled eggs to be all fancified with weird ingredients instead of just being, you know, regular deviled eggs? DEVILED EGGS ARE ALREADY DELICIOUS. (This question brought to you by Easter dinner.)

Please discuss. I require enlightenment.

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This is not really a post

What this IS is a reminder that sometimes I post stuff on the Woulda Coulda Shoulda Facebook page that I don’t put here. It’s like a bonus reel! Hosted by the Evil Empire! Except no matter how evil Facebook becomes, it’s still the easiest place to waste time playing Scrabble with far-away friends, so I just can’t quite quit it (and probably neither can you).

So if you’re not a fan over there to see things like post updates and random pictures of things like my kid in a rainbow tutu, you might be missing out. Just sayin’.

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Scintillating coffeemaker update!

So first of all, thank you for all of the coffeemaker feedback you left on my last post. It was very helpful, and I was over on Amazon, comparing and contrasting, and in the meantime I was drinking expired espresso made in my Tassimo (because once I won Otto over to the dark side and he started drinking coffee with me, I pretty much retired the Tassimo because I’d rather just make a whole pot). I was hovering over the “BUY” button when Otto said he wanted to try cleaning out the pot lid before we gave up.


He soaked it in some stuff. Things did not look promising. BUT THEN he poked around in the lid with a Q-tip and soaked it again. (This is our pot lid; it has a “floating” ball inside there that magically lets coffee drip in but then settles to seal the pot and keep the coffee warm, after.) On the post-Q-tip soaking, about a half a pound of powdery coffee grounds floated down out of the lid. MAGIC. It’s like the lid was its own coffee-laden clown car.

This morning the coffeemaker worked perfectly. Order (and caffeine) are restored. Phew.

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Various super-important updates

1) Yesterday I found out that the hulking, terrifying mass which has become my gimpy hand is apparently “perfectly normal.” Well, that’s a relief. I was getting tired of waiting for an alien to burst forth from the scar. But, uh, I kind of miss the days when my hand looked like a hand, y’know? So I am now on a strict regimen of weirdo anti-inflammatory treatments via battery-powered patch. Really. I have to drive over to the orthopedist’s office every other day to have said patch slapped over my hand/wrist. Thank goodness I’m a lady of leisure and don’t have anything else to… oh. Crap.

2) Are you taking the Little Drummer Boy Challenge? It amuses me. Though it amused me more before Monkey’s doctor’s office knocked me out about fifteen minutes ago. IT IS NOT EVEN DECEMBER. I PROTEST.

3) We have our favorite Visiting Dog at the house right now, and last night I woke up certain I was having a hot flash. I wasn’t. I was, however, having two dogs laying on top of me, both eager to show the other that they could have me. It’s nice to be loved…? Kind of? But also sort of sweaty.

4) I have a new post up over at Feel More Better, all about my very first car (which wasn’t a car at all, actually, but a truck). You know how I like reminiscing about the old days, and then waving my cane at the young’uns and telling them to get off my lawn. Come on over and tell me about your first ride, if you like.

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Uh, who likes candy?

It rhymes with Sandy, but it less depressing. See?

Today I’m over at Feel More Better, pondering Halloween candy and the politics therein. Maybe you don’t view this as the most candyful time of the year, but I sure do.

Come on over and check it out if you’re all hurricane-d out and need something a little more… chocolatey.

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Various GPS follies

This is old news, I know it is, but I kept meaning to write about it and then life exploded and I never did, and it is REALLY SUPER IMPORTANT that you know that you can get Bert and Ernie on your GPS if you didn’t already know.

If you DID already know, sorry. This video always makes me laugh, even though I’ve already seen it a hundred times:

I contend that NO ONE who 1) owns a TomTom and 2) grew up watching Sesame Street could learn of this information and not immediately run to the associated website to download your favorite muppet voices. (more…)

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A quick tidbit (quibit? tidbick?)

I am spending my entire day either in the car, waiting rooms, or too-cold doctors’ offices, which I guess I will tell you more about eventually, but there isn’t time right now, so I won’t. (Also, I am rather over the whole scene right now, and would like to go home and crawl under my desk and chant “MY CHILDREN ARE PERFECTLY HEALTHY” until it’s true or until I run out of snacks.)

Anyway. I think I mentioned that my veggies are in for the summer, finally, as part of all the work we’ve been doing killing ourselves landscaping. What I did not tell you is that this year I was so disorganized, I never got around to starting seedlings, so I just caved and bought some plants for the things that needed longer to grow. I thought I bought two heirloom tomato plants, two Early Girl tomato plants, and a grape tomato plant, but it turned out that there was another (regular) tomato variety on the grape tomato shelf, thus: no grape tomato plant.

This was a problem—a big one—because Monkey likes nothing better than to be able to wander out into the garden in the summer and graze, and he loves grape tomatoes. I planted what I bought, and my other plants, and put down seeds, and then my boxes were all full. So then I went out a week later and bought a grape tomato plant and put it in a separate planter and told Monkey, “That’s your tomato plant, right there. I bought it for you.”

I did this because he has unfailingly visited that plant every day since. He waters it and talks to it and checks it for critters and lets me know how George is doing every day. Oh, yeah—he named it George. Because of course he did. And George makes him incredibly happy.

I can think of no other way to get such a massive return on a $3.49 expenditure. Thanks, George. You light up my Monkey’s life!

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