I was doing so well. Getting stuff done! Being a paragon of productivity! I should’ve known it couldn’t last.
So, uh, I don’t know if I mentioned this, but my therapist—who is awesome but seems to find sport in making me freak out about all manner of health-related things—asked me earlier this week if I’d gotten my flu shot this year. I am normally RELIGIOUS about my flu shot, seriously, but my primary care doctor has been out of vaccine and it kind of slipped my mind for a while. Anyway, my therapist was sure to tell me how this is the worst year for flu in a decade, blah blah blah DOOM DESTRUCTION AND CERTAIN DEATH (it’s possible she didn’t SAY that, but I am very good at reading between the lines), so naturally I realized I needed to get it done.
[Sidebar: Having a blog is handy, because I was able to go back and check and see that I last had the flu in March of 2007. What is funny (to me, anyway) is that I never did detail what happened, but I remember it like it was yesterday: I woke up one day with a fever of 104 and was pretty sure I was dying. BUT I was still single-parenting and had to get the kids ready for school somehow. This ended up with me sliding down the stairs and laying in the middle of the kitchen floor and exhorting my perplexed 7- and almost-9-year-olds to please, PLEASE, just eat something, take some money from my purse for school lunch, and for the love of God, DON’T TOUCH ME and DON’T MISS THE BUS. After they left I somehow managed to drive myself to my doctor’s office and also talk my doc out of hospitalizing me. GOOD TIMES.]
Anyway. No, I don’t have the flu. I just thought it would be fun to remember how awful the flu is. Apparently.
No, I went to my local Chain Pharmacy Store (because they have a big sign that says WE HAVE FLU VACCINE) and I got a flu shot. Because I’m a responsible human! And this was in the morning, one day, while Monkey was at Hippie School, so while I was there I also filled out paperwork for him and then I picked him up from school later and took him for HIS shot. BAM. No flu for us!
Of course, I don’t get out all that much, you know. And I’m guessing that Chain Pharmacy Store maybe sees more than its fair share of sick people (just a guess). So I was all pleased with myself, y’know, we got shots, I AM AWESOME AND PROACTIVE, and then a couple of days later…
… oh, God, I woke up SO SICK. Also: PETRIFIED. Had I… gone and gotten the flu by going and getting a flu shot?? A quick inventory of my condition revealed that I wasn’t running a fever, I just had a terrible sore throat and wished I was dead. Phew. Not flu, then. But probably picked up when I was getting my flu shot, so, FABULOUS.
Monkey and I lazed around and tried to decide if we felt well enough to do anything more than watch television, nap, and whine. (Answer: no.) Of course being sick with Monkey is always entertaining, because he isn’t really sure if he’s sick or not. I said I didn’t feel well, and he said, “Well I feel kind of… weird.” This was intriguing to me, because ordinarily he doesn’t admit to feeling anything less than fine until you’re holding his severed limb in your hand, or whatever. Further inquiry revealed that he felt “Kind of sleepy,” which—again—is not a state he usually admits to. So I just assumed he was sick as well. He took a nap, so, you know. Clearly something was off.
Today Monkey is perfectly fine, and had finished the day’s schoolwork by 9:30 or so, just to make me feel even more slackerish. I am still praying for the sweet release of death, a little bit, but also trying to think of all the people I may have infected somehow in my travels this week. Because normally, you know, I just hide in my office and stay away from people and other places entirely. But this week, OF COURSE, I was like a little social butterfly before the plague came to roost. In addition to my two trips to the pharmacy for our shots, I’ve been running back and forth to Hippie School (and cooed over a new baby, OH GOD I hope I didn’t get the baby sick!), I had lunch with a friend, I went to play rehearsal, I ran a bunch of errands… I was EVERYWHERE.
Meanwhile, most of yesterday was spent trying to figure out if maybe I’d managed to get strep even though I haven’t had it since before I had my tonsils out (ten years ago), but today my throat hurts a little less (and my head hurts a little more…), so basically I think I have a random virus and I’m a big baby. Surprise!
Otto doesn’t have any classes to teach today, but he popped right out of bed early and fairly RAN out of the house to his office. I cannot imagine why. I mean, he could’ve hung around here with me while I drink tea and grumble. I fear perhaps the magic is finally gone.