It’s Tuesday, so I’m going to redirect you to Off Our Chests, this time to confirm what you already knew—I’m a jerk. I’m mean! All of the other parents are cooler than I am!
[Aside: Chickadee has one friend who thinks I’m awesome. I have no idea where she got this idea, but I’m not about to disabuse her of it. Every time I give her a ride somewhere or she comes over or I see her at a school function or whatever, she laughs at my lame jokes and tells Chickie I’m the coolest mom ever. I’ve started calling her My Favorite Daughter and I’m SURE that’s helping the already-strained relations ’round here, right? Because the only thing better than one of your friends thinking your terrible mom is actually a human being is your mom making it clear that she’s lapping it up. Heh.]
Anyway. Tomorrow my darling daughter turns 14 (related: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??), and I have many presents I need to go wrap for her. But the thing she wants the most—and still isn’t getting—is Facebook. Because I’m a monster, obviously. C’mon over and weigh in. (I give it about an hour before someone with a creative name like “Anonymous” tells me how wrongishly wrong and stupid I am.)