Archive | July, 2011

This one time, at band camp…

by Mir on July 30, 2011 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

So Chickadee made it through band camp without incident. I’m not gonna lie, we were pleasantly surprised. It is HOT and GRUELING and there were plenty of texts about who’d passed out and how sick she felt and more than a little angst over the enormity of the task before her. [Hint: Someone spent all of last year as first chair in the band. Guess whose ego was not quite prepared to be last chair despite being 1) the youngest 2) the newest and 3) the only non-high-schooler in her section?]

Now we go to a regular rehearsal schedule and soon—weekly football games. Friday afternoon found Chickadee sporting a stylish farmer tan and the biggest smile we’ve seen in months. After early dismissal she’d gone out to lunch with her section and was basking in the glow of being treated as an equal by the older kids over pizza. “I think I’ve got it,” she confided to me, a little bit proud and mostly amazed. “It got easier. It’s hard but it’s fun.”

And so last night we headed over for the first demonstration of the season, to be followed by a giant picnic of band families. (Apparently the last adhesive required to fully cement the bandie extended family is hot dogs and ketchup.) (more…)

Comments { 40 }

Hush, Baby

by Mir on July 28, 2011 in Aspi(e)rations, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

To recap: Monkey had to leave his social skills group last week, but this week he was allowed to return for the last session. There were apologies all around and he made a special effort to play nicely with the kid he clobbered last week, and as it was the wrap-up and party I think we were all happy to be able to end on a high note. But all was not sunshine and rainbows; he did end up under a table for part of the time, demanding that his therapist “just please make him shut up” (referencing a chatty kid who was getting on his nerves), and although SuperAspieDoc assured me it was fine and he handled it well—”He didn’t get violent! He asked for help!”—it only added to the growing knot of fear in the pit of my stomach.

We used to say that these episodes were so unlike him. More and more, the hyper-irritability and bursts of aggression ARE like him. Crowding out the clearer parts of him; dulling the brighter ones.

We still don’t know what we’re doing about school, with just a week left before classes start. I said to SuperAspieDoc “I know you can’t tell us what to do, but I kind of wish you would just tell us what to do.” And she acknowledged that she can’t make that choice for us, but did say she thinks it’s time to reevaluate his medications. (more…)

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I like to jumpstart with crazy

by Mir on July 27, 2011 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Health is overrated

Hey, remember back when a group of us got together and started Five Full Plates and vowed to lose weight and exercise more and clean up our homes and face our fears and generally become better, smarter, faster, and thinner than ever before?

That was fun. During the challenges we put ourselves through there, I got a ton of crap done—and I also lost 10 pounds. I felt GREAT.

A year and a half later, I seem to have… gained most of it back. Not all of it—most of my “victory clothing” purchases still fit—but enough that I just feel gross. And as I discussed ad nauseum over on FFP back in the day, as someone who was stick skinny until about 35 or so, this whole “dieting” and “being healthy” thing remains kind of a mystery to me. I mean, in general I eat very healthy foods. But I also suck at any kind of moderation, and even if I’m eating healthy, overindulgence is still a problem. Also a problem: Ice cream. And popcorn with real butter. (Mmmmm… butter.)

So it was clearly time to Do Something. (more…)

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My first best friend

by Mir on July 26, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

It’s Tuesday, and that means I’m over at Off Our Chests today.

Friendships come and go, but today I’m telling you about one of the best friends I ever had. Back then, I didn’t have a lot of friends, so she really meant the world to me.

(Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t have a lot of friends now, either. But I like to think I’m more well-adjusted than I used to be, regardless. Hush.)

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Random answers and further embarrassment

by Mir on July 25, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

I’m so glad that y’all seemed to enjoy the last post as much as I enjoyed writing it. Sometimes I’m not sure if things are just amusing in my head or actually amusing in general, and the confirmation that yes, my Native American name should’ve been Dances With Morons warms the cockles of my twisted little heart.

Of course, it seems I’ve left you with a few burning questions, and that just won’t do. Let me see if I can address some of your queries.

Many of you wanted to know if 1) Otto and his friend still saw the film and 2) how it was. I subjected my husband to a hard-hitting interview to get the scoop for you. And this is particularly notable because Otto is out of town at a conference, and he called home to check in and I was all “Let’s talk about that 3D porno.” Lucky Otto! (more…)

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I have your sadness antidote right here

by Mir on July 23, 2011 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

Let’s do a quick review of recent world events, shall we?

1) Norway. God. What did the people of Oslo ever do to anyone? Why are there still so many people out there who think The Answer lies in blowing people up and shooting them? I don’t understand.

2) Amy Winehouse. Hey, it turns out that addiction kills even people who are really, really talented. How about that. Would it be wrong to tell my kids that if they ever even try drugs I will break their legs? Because I’m okay with that if it’s not going to get DFACS over here.

3) School. As in: starts in two weeks. As in: we haven’t the faintest clue what the plan is for Monkey right now. I’ve spent two solid days making phone calls, sending emails, researching, talking to people. I’m lost. I’m tired.

I’ve been saving the following for a suck-ass day like this one. It’s time. (more…)

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Stumble; fly; keep going

by Mir on July 21, 2011 in Aspi(e)rations, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I know I keep saying it, but I really cannot fully express how much I’ve loved this summer. This is our fourth summer in Georgia and the first one that’s felt like everyone is okay and life is good. The stress level has been relatively low and the kids are happy and mostly healthy. Basically I never want this summer to end, ever.

But it’s going to end in a couple of weeks, and we’re starting to brace for impact.

It’s funny; I had a post planned, yesterday morning. It wasn’t anything earth-shattering, but it was going to be about how good summer has been for everyone, but most especially for the kids. Just the day before, I’d taken Monkey to meet up with a new friend for ice cream, and we’d ended up waiting for them for over half an hour (unavoidable problem, and they didn’t have my cell number to let me know) and I had finally, gently, told him maybe they weren’t coming, and let’s get some ice cream anyway, and then they showed up and everything was okay, and he didn’t bellow “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” or anything awful, and I thought to myself: Man, this summer has been great for him. He’s really growing. He’s getting there.

But I was wrong. (more…)

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What are you afraid of?

by Mir on July 19, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

There are plenty of phobias I don’t quite understand. Monkey, for example, is absolutely TERRIFIED of bees and wasps, which I gather is a not-uncommon thing amongst Aspies, but is nonetheless kind of annoying and disruptive when something comes along buzzing and he completely freaks out. Me, I’m actually allergic to wasps, and I’m not nearly as fearful as he is.

Chickadee’s needle phobia? I don’t get that, either. Needles don’t faze me. I gave myself shots every day when I was pregnant, and other than looking a little like a pincushion, it didn’t bother me.

But the truth is that I used to be fearless, and then my life filled up with wonderful things, and rather than making me feel calm and blessed, it has made me fearful. Because what if…? The things that should make me feel most secure and happy are now, oftentimes, the reasons I lay awake at night, worrying I might lose them.

Today I’m over at Off Our Chests, talking about this fear pendulum. I think we all have one. I’m coming to realize that mine needs some adjusting.

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Pasta, anyone?

by Mir on July 18, 2011 in What do I do all day?

I do believe this summer will go down in family history as the Summer of the Tomatoes. Not that there’s anything wrong with that; I do love me some tomatoes. But thanks to my husband’s plant selection and what must be a particularly optimal growing season (can you believe I haven’t seen a single tomato horn worm this year?) (knocking on wood; crossing myself; throwing salt over my shoulder; spitting twice), my tomato cup runneth over.

And so the course of my days has changed.

The weird thing is, I really kind of like it.

I used to get up, have coffee while dealing with email, and get right to work. I would work all day (minus fifteen interruptions from Monkey wanting to know what I was doing now, and did I want to play Wii with him instead, and was it time to go swimming yet?) (answers: still working, yes but no thank you, and just a few more minutes) and try to knock off early to swim with the kids and otherwise actually be present with my family, and then eventually it would be evening and then bedtime. (more…)

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The perks of hippie-town living

by Mir on July 17, 2011 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

Last night we went out for frozen yogurt after dinner, and after enjoying our treat we exited the shop only to discover a couple sitting at a table out front enjoying their dessert… with a large macaw.

The bird had his own seat. He was munching on a raspberry, and a small crowd had amassed to admire him.

When the raspberry was dropped, the woman of the couple handed over a piece of kiwi from her cup. The bird happily munched on that, as the man began to detail all of the foods the bird really enjoys. He listed several fruits, corn, and then said “But his favorite is roast chicken.”

“That’s just not right,” I blurted out. Oh no, he assured me, he LOVES it! “But that’s cannibalism,” I protested, somewhat weakly. Who am I to dictate what these people feed their bird?

Also: There’s a macaw enjoying dessert at a little table outside the yogurt shop, and the thing that’s weird is that he eats chicken? … right.

Comments { 25 }
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