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Archive | December, 2010

A fitting end to the week

by Mir on December 31, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Ottomatic For the People

The kids are coming home today, so yesterday Otto and I tried to cram in everything we might want to do before they’re back. The day ended with a trip to The High to see the Dali exhibit, and it was blissfully free of “this is boring”s, “what’s with his moustache”s, and “he’s touching me”s.

At one point, we overheard this:
Her: So you’re a writer?
Him: Yeah, that’s right. I’m a writer.
Her: So what sorts of things do you write?
Him: Well… right now I have a book in editing.
Her: Really? What’s it about?
Him: Oh… you know… just… fiction.
Her: Fiction, huh?
Him: Yep, fiction.
Her: So could you be more vague? About your book about… fiction?
Him: I don’t know, probably.
(They laughed, but I couldn’t help feeling like the woman wasn’t all that amused.) (more…)

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Come home soon, kids!

by Mir on December 29, 2010 in Oh look! Something furry!!

It’s no secret that I’m completely smitten with the dog. I adore her. Yes, I have become one of those people who basically treats the dog like a third child, albeit a child who never grows up and is a bit “special.” (Hey, neither of the kids I gave birth to lose their fool minds whenever the UPS guy comes up the driveway, is all I’m sayin’.) Also it’s very, very rare for me to make the human children eat kibble out of a bowl on the floor. So there’s differences, of course.

Yes, in the world of blended families, Licorice is Otto’s and my lovechild. (We love each other SO MUCH, we produced a furball. Go, us!) So when the (human) children go off to visit their dad, Licorice stays behind, somewhat confused as to where her playmates have disappeared off to. (Not for lack of trying on Monkey’s part, you understand. He has been angling for us to allow them to take the dog when they see their dad for FOREVER. That… is a whole ‘nother story. About specialness. Ha.)

And for the most part, just having Licorice here is kind of like being alone. Mostly. (more…)

Comments { 27 }

Yes, we have no bananas

by Mir on December 28, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

One of the things I always look forward to over winter break is going downtown and eating at restaurants normally overrun by students. It’s not that I don’t love the UGA students—I mean, what’s not to love about all those kids in tank tops and UGGs who whine at my husband about their grades?—it’s just that I like being able to go out for a meal and find a parking space, and also not be packed into the restaurant like sardines.

FURTHERMORE, my favorite pizza chain in the entire world, Mellow Mushroom, now offers a decent gluten-free crust. The evening plan was clear: Pizza ahoy!

Otto patiently waited for me to finish working, and then we headed out for our fancy evening. Well, okay, not FANCY, but I do get pretty excited about pizza, I’m not gonna lie. I’d have to be pretty stoked about it to abandon our favorite dinner mode when the kids are gone, which is sitting on the couch, eating while watching television, like heathens. (more…)

Comments { 42 }

Just like being there

by Mir on December 27, 2010 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

I forgot to tell you perhaps the greatest thing about Christmas Day: We got to be in the family picture!

See, Otto and his brother had arranged for us to talk to the family on Skype at some point on Christmas morning. Which would’ve been fine. But NO, Nearly Nickless somehow wired up his computer through their giant plasma TV up in the corner of the room and set a webcam on top of it and Otto and I were then beamed into the room, Starship Command-style, to converse with everyone else. That was pretty cool for us, because we could see the entire living room and watch the nephews run around and everything. But then they decided to do a family picture and had everyone line up below the TV.

Those pictures later surfaced on Facebook, and everyone in the room looks really great. In spite of the fact that Otto’s and my GIANT DISEMBODIED HEADS are floating above them.

Now I will forever remember this as the year we stayed home and got to be the GREAT AND POWERFUL TWO-HEADED OZ.

Comments { 18 }

So this was Christmas

by Mir on December 26, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

Christmas was bittersweet, but surprisingly lovely.

I’ve never not been with my kids on Christmas, before. I’ve been divorced for… HOLY CRAP, I’ve been divorced for coming up on eight years. Thus far we’ve managed to divide up the holidays in such a way that we alternate some of the other ones, but Christmas has always been shared. Christmas Eve and morning at one house, Christmas Day at the other. I’m really glad we’ve been able to make that work for as long as we have. But this year—with the canceled plans, rescheduling of getting the kids up north, and general mayhem—it just couldn’t be done. My ex asked if he could get the kids on Christmas Eve day and I said sure, because so much had already been disrupted and ruined and it somehow seemed like the least I could do.

So we did our family Christmas early and I put on a brave face and sent them off on the 24th, and the entire day I just felt awful, inside and out. By evening I had a slight fever and I thought HERE WE GO, NOW I GET THE FLU. But when we woke up Christmas Day I was fine. (more…)

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Love makes its own schedule

by Mir on December 23, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Woohoo!

Today is Christmas.

Oh, okay; TECHNICALLY today isn’t Christmas, but today is OUR Christmas, because the kids are leaving tomorrow. Which means that there is currently a big mess of wrapping paper in my family room.

My biggest concern with the whole timing thing was not, in fact, today, but last night. See, the elves bring new pajamas on Christmas Eve. And the kids had already been informed that there was no way that Santa could come early—he is far too busy in these last days before the holiday, after all—but that we would do our family gifts, and after they return we’ll see if Santa came and what he brought. But then there was the matter of the elves. Might the elves make a special early trip?

I just wasn’t sure how to handle it. Fortunately, the weather made it easy. (more…)

Comments { 63 }

I’m calling it

by Mir on December 22, 2010 in Health is overrated, It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

We are now 14 days past when Monkey first fell to the flu, and a week past Otto’s fall (Chickadee fell inbetween the two of them). I’m officially calling this THE YEAR I AVOIDED GETTING THE FLU. Every day for the last two weeks I’ve woken up every morning and laid in bed, tensed with apprehension, doing a quick body inventory. Do I feel hot? Does my head hurt? Is that something weird? I’ve certainly not felt my very best the last couple of weeks, but other than feeling a little rundown (which, HEY, I’m sure that has nothing to do with recent events at all!), it appears my nefarious plan of dousing myself in hand sanitizer fifteen times a day actually worked.

Christmas—such as it will be, this year, anyway—can now commence.

Apparently that means I can continue trying to work while the kids wander into my office fifty times a day and I try to explain that I need to work, I’m sorry, please find something to do, please go pester Otto, hey I bet there’s something good on TV right now, etc. It doesn’t really feel like the most wonderful time of the year. I am only a little bit bitter that the kids were supposed to be gone THIS week (while I’m still working) but now instead we won’t have them NEXT week when I can relax a little. (more…)

Comments { 32 }

The flu that stole Christmas

by Mir on December 20, 2010 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, My name is Grumplestiltskin, Oh look! Something furry!!

Christmas has already been completely ruined, and we still have five days before the actual holiday, so I’m thinking this is some sort of truly awesome record for Maximum Suck.

The Plan was that the kids’ dad would pick them up on Saturday to fly north; Otto and the dog and I were to follow the next day, driving up to my folks in New York; the kids would spend a week with their dad, we would work our way Boston-ward for Christmas, and then on Christmas Day we’d get the kids back, they’d have time to see the New England relatives, and we’d head back through my folks’ place again on our way home for some quality maternal grandparental time.

In reality, the ENT said he thought it wasn’t a good idea for Monkey to fly with a head full of goo (gee, ya think?), and Chickadee outdid herself by running a fever of at least 102 for the entire last week, so it was unclear that she’d be healthy enough to fly in time. So no one flew. And Otto was so sick it wasn’t clear we could drive, either, so no one drove. We’re all still here.

Now everyone is just better enough get on everyone else’s last nerve. (more…)

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False advertising

by Mir on December 17, 2010 in Health is overrated, My name is Grumplestiltskin, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

So remember how I thought the pediatrician just thought I was angry and maybe a little crazy? And she was brushing me off? I take it back. The next day she called to say she’d personally gotten us in with the ENT. When? Oh, immediately! Could I just go over there NOW? (I was wearing my pajamas when she called. Also, Monkey was at school. But we made it, somehow.)

The ENT said many interesting things, making noises with his mouth-hole that sounded like “here are the things that are clearly wrong which I can see even before we start testing further” and also “chronic infection that has probably been making him miserable for a long time” and finally “I had another case just like this with a kid with Asperger’s and I’m telling you that you will not BELIEVE the change once we get him treated.” I am a little bit in love with the ENT now. Sorry, Otto.

(Oh, don’t feel bad for Otto that I said that! He doesn’t mind, on account of HE IS BUSY DYING. Both Otto and Chickadee are so beset by flu that I am starting to feel like Clara Barton, only way crankier. And neither of them care what I do right now as long as I periodically croon “poor little bunny.”)

So the ENT made up a list of tests we should do. (more…)

Comments { 54 }

Love’s commercial break

by Mir on December 16, 2010 in Oh look! Something furry!!

Feeling down? Stressed? Beset by flu and stupidity? Suffering from the heartbreak of ~~psoriasis~~ did-you-know-your-kid-is-autistic-itis?

It may be time to take two pictures of a long-suffering little dog and apply directly to the eyeballs! (Fluffy puppy… apply to your eyesockets for immediate relief!)