Loving as best I can

I don’t have the words to tell you all how much it means to me when the Internet proves, once again, to be a place filled with kind and thoughtful and just plain NICE people. Yesterday I needed to let it all out, and I did; then my finger hovered over the “Publish” button as I wondered what backlash might be sent my way as a result. I published it anyway, and then wept grateful tears for most of the day as my inbox filled with lovely, compassionate comments. By the afternoon, I felt better. Lighter. Ready to keep going and keep knowing it will still be okay.

Thank you. I know it sounds corny, and I know we’re all more comfortable when I’m just calling you pretty and promising to send everyone a pony that poops glitter, but you are a gift, each and every one of you who takes the time to read and reach out. It means the world to me.

Yesterday afternoon, the doorbell rang. Now, I get various envelopes and packages almost every day, and yesterday I was 1) puffy-faced from crying and 2) still in my pajamas when the bell chimed and Licorice skittered across the entranceway barking like a lunatic. I decided I would just wait for the delivery guy to leave whatever it was, because I sure as heck wasn’t opening the door looking like that.

But then whoever it was rang the bell a SECOND time, and I had to answer. I was surprised to open the door to a woman holding one of those edible fruit arrangement things, and she was probably surprised to see a grown woman in her pajamas, but we both pretended this was totally normal. I signed and thanked her and she left.

And then I was still puffy-faced and in my pajamas, but holding a ginormous arrangement of fruit cut into flower shapes.

Turns out, Otto’s mom and aunt wanted to send us a little thank-you for their visit. It was totally unnecessary, of course. I feel like we should be thanking THEM. (But if I send them a fruit arrangement now, I feel like we could potentially get stuck in a perpetual loop that ends in a glorious explosion of cantaloupe and grapes, and that just seems bad.)

Anyway. I hid it in the fridge as best I could, and later, after dinner, whipped it out with a flourish, much to the kids’ delight. We may have, um, played with it a little bit before we devoured most of it. And there may have been some mini-lightsaber duels with the skewers. As Chickadee cheerfully reminded us: EVERYTHING tastes better (and is more fun) on a stick!

Today for Love Thursday, my friend Karen shares this marvelous quote: Love everyone as best you can, but only invest in people who invest in you.

I sat here and thought about my investments, all of them. Those who are easy to love. Those who are sometimes harder to love. And those who love me, no matter how difficult I am. It’s good advice, to skip those who don’t invest back in you.

But the corollary is also true: There is no investment too great in those who believe in you.

That’s what I needed to realize, this week.

And just like I said yesterday, when I look into those eyes, there is nothing I won’t—maybe almost nothing I CAN’T—do.

(Even when those eyes appear to be made of pineapples.)

Everything tastes better on a stick, and the right loves are worth our best. Two great truths, right there.

36 Responses to “Loving as best I can”

  1. 1
    Katie October 7, 2010 at 12:03 pm #

    Thank you. This was just perfect. And what I needed to hear as well.

  2. 2
    diane October 7, 2010 at 12:06 pm #

    Ah, shucks…the last couple glitter-pooping ponies left the house so adorned with shiny stuff I’m still finding glitter in my underwear drawer (try explaining glittery underwear to your doctor!).

    What I want to be remembered most for isn’t what I earned, or what I did for a living, but how I made a difference in others’ lives. May we all chose our “investments” wisely, and pour ourselves into them!

  3. 3
    Dsilkotch October 7, 2010 at 12:10 pm #

    Beautiful and true words, Mir. And Karen’s advice is wonderful.

    I was thinking of you when I made today’s Love Thursday post. It’s partly dedicated to you and your Chickadee and Monkey, check it out:

    http://dsilkotch.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/these-small-hours/

  4. 4
    elz October 7, 2010 at 12:29 pm #

    No investment is too great, b/c the return on your investment is almost always worth it. Also, everything tastes better fried and on a stick!

  5. 5
    Aubri October 7, 2010 at 12:37 pm #

    Amen to the “everything is better on a stick” philosophy… and also, Mir, I just love you. I think you are an amazing woman and a fantastic mama! Happy Love Thursday, pretty lady!

  6. 6
    Midj October 7, 2010 at 12:38 pm #

    Smile. Why I read you every day. Hugs!

  7. 7
    Heidi October 7, 2010 at 12:39 pm #

    Whoohoohoohoo! Oh, what a fabulous photo. Wishing you a lovely Love Thursday, Mir.

  8. 8
    Megan October 7, 2010 at 12:49 pm #

    What wonderful, serendipitous timing – the universe seemed to just know that you really, really, needed something-onna-stick right then! And hoorah for such loving, thoughtful in-laws. You are so surrounded by love.

  9. 9
    Katie in MA October 7, 2010 at 1:21 pm #

    To everything there is a season…except for dessert-on-sticks. Those are *always* in season.

    Hooray for feeling lighter! Hooray for pineapple eyes! Hooray for the kindness of strangers AND for the sweetest in-laws evah! And hooray for Love Thursday, which always seems to get here just in time!

  10. 10
    Tracy B October 7, 2010 at 1:26 pm #

    Mir–I just love your blog and it brings such a calmness to me at times. Isn’t it funny how something like a fruit bouquet can turn everything around? I know that you are down and sometime life throws a stomach punch but all in all, life is pretty great when you are surround by such love and admiration! Happy Love Thursday, Mir! Enjoy your day!

  11. 11
    Headless Mom October 7, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    Thanks for being you, Mir. I’m glad you hit publish yesterday. Even though I had a day of turmoil it helped me to figure out a few things and for that I’m grateful.

  12. 12
    Debbi October 7, 2010 at 1:43 pm #

    Happy Love Thursday to you too!! :-)

  13. 13
    Mare Martell October 7, 2010 at 2:14 pm #

    Mir,
    Yesterday your post was so personal that I felt every word. I commented on your post and left it as I usually do. Your reply made me know I wasn’t alone in this. Thank you. It made my day about as good as your fruit bouquet. Although I am a bit jealous you got to eat yours happiness. :-)

  14. 14
    Ani October 7, 2010 at 2:25 pm #

    For the record, we are not zoned for glittery-pony-poop.

    And now I have a great craving for fresh pineapple. :-)

  15. 15
    annette October 7, 2010 at 2:38 pm #

    From our priest’s homily on Sunday. “Loving without expecting love in return, giving without consolation, is true love, indeed.” Also, it is a good definition of motherhood.
    ( That second part may have been my own little thoughts, just sayin’)

    Also, I bet flower and edible arrangement people see lots of people in their pajamas:)

  16. 16
    Brigitte October 7, 2010 at 2:39 pm #

    Aw, I just caught up and read TWO cry-ey posts! I think YOU poop glitter – oh wait, ew, I don’t want to picture that. Just meant that the things you write are so much of a gift to so many of us, thank you.

  17. 17
    Liza October 7, 2010 at 2:53 pm #

    Ok, best picture ever. If I were Monkey, I would use it as my high school senior picture. And my facebook profile picture. And my speaker bio picture. And everything forever.

    I’m slow at blog reading, so I just read yesterday’s too. And I’m sorry you are grieving, and so relieved that Monkey has you as a mom. Teh Internets love you both and wish we could help more.

  18. 18
    Kristine October 7, 2010 at 3:10 pm #

    Keep doing what you do. I have only been following you for a bit and look forward to your blog everyday. Your rock MIR!!!

  19. 19
    navhelowife October 7, 2010 at 3:12 pm #

    It’s wonderful when life hands you some joy to help comfort you in your grief.

  20. 20
    Patricia October 7, 2010 at 3:16 pm #

    No, no, no….everything tastes better with bacon or drenching in chocolate! But the reality is that there is not enough MEAT on sticks!!!

    But, no, you are *SO* super right (as you are so often), the right loves are worth our best — and in case you forget it….you give them your best already! Don’t sell yourself short in that matter.

    You are exactly who your family needs — always….which makes you the best.

  21. 21
    SassyApple October 7, 2010 at 3:24 pm #

    I have been reading your blog for about 6 months now and recently went back and started from the beginning and read my way forward. (I’m expecting a glitter-pooping pony in the mail any day now) Thank you so much for sharing part of your life with me….us….the world. Know that we’re out here, praying with you, crying with you and celebrating with you….even if we wait 6 months to tell you.

  22. 22
    Lynette October 7, 2010 at 3:33 pm #

    Thank you for sharing those wise words!

  23. 23
    s October 7, 2010 at 3:48 pm #

    I’m glad you hit publish yesterday – not only was it great content but the writing was amazing.

    I am constantly amazed at the wisdom you bring to parenting when I feel like I’m just bouncing off the walls, reacting, vs guiding my kids. And, one comment mouthed from a teacher at pick up “he had a rough day” makes me question my parenting all day long, so I can’t even imagine how I’d feel getting the phone call you received. We all want so much for our kids and its so hard to see them struggle.

    On my way home this morning, a beautiful rainbow appeared – it totally lifted me out of my “different day same ol’ sh*t” mood. Each day is a gift, I just need to look up to appreciate it. Thanks for helping me look up.

  24. 24
    karen October 7, 2010 at 5:16 pm #

    I’ve had ponies…and none of them has EVER… pooped glitter. Where can I get me one of those? There might be money in it.

  25. 25
    jessica October 7, 2010 at 5:21 pm #

    I don’t think I’d want a pony that poops glitter, but mainly because I don’t really use glitter that much. I tried to think of what I’d want a pony to poop out that would be useful, but then I was kind of grossed out by thinking of things I’d use that were excreted by an animal and realized that I probably wouldn’t use something an animal excreted at all, as then it would all just be a different kind of poop.

    Ummmm…yeah. Anyway, I love that quote, so I’m going to steal it as well and try to remind myself of that. Love should be easily given out but investment in friendship, etc. should be saved for those willing to invest in me, too. Wise words.

    Oh, and thanks for hitting publish every time you do.

  26. 26
    Lorraine October 7, 2010 at 5:47 pm #

    I’ve been thinking about you a lot since yesterday’s post–my 7yo and I talked about how important it is to be kind to everyone because you never know what burdens people are carrying around, even if they’re smiling and laughing. You smile and laugh so much that it’s sometimes hard to remember that you carry a heavy load, even as you’re making other people feel better about their day, their parenting, their love of glitter. Thanks for what you do, and hope that you know how you’re appreciated by complete strangers.

  27. 27
    J from Ireland October 7, 2010 at 5:48 pm #

    Your words brought tears to my eyes Mir, just beautiful. Oh I just love Love thursday, thanks kind lady.

  28. 28
    StacyQ October 7, 2010 at 5:57 pm #

    You’re right! Everything does taste better on a stick!
    I decided we’d have dinner on a stick tonight…
    then I remembered it’s spaghetti night.

  29. 29
    My Kids Mom October 7, 2010 at 7:44 pm #

    I was once invited to a “food on a stick” potluck. We had shish kabobs and corn dogs, Swedish meatballs, veggies in dip, fondue.. and toasted marshmallows! It was great fun.

  30. 30
    Nancy R October 7, 2010 at 8:43 pm #

    Once, when we were out to dinner in a Chinese restaurant, my daughter ordered pepper steak, or somesuch, thinking it was something she’d had before. The waiter brought out our crab rangoon, a tiny tray with strips of skewered meat, and a tiny…flaming cauldron. I began to explain that we hadn’t ordered the meat & cauldron, but as he went to remove it from the table my husband and I both said, “No, it’s okay! We’ll keep that too!” Because who passes up a tiny flaming cauldron with meat on sticks? He showed us how to cook the little meat skewers hibachi-style, and left us to enjoy our mini meat roast.

    My youngest has been coveting the fruit arrangement for some time now as there have been quite a few commercials on lately.

    I just read the quote on Karen’s blog too, and forwarded the link to my oldest daughter…it’s a very good quote for a pre-teen girl…the same girl who accidently ordered the flaming cauldron…and the one who always leaves my dryer door open – and no, it doesn’t turn off after a while like you suggested it might and I hoped it would because that would be handy, no?…which I learned after…I left the door open one day when I was home alone (don’t tell!).

  31. 31
    Laura October 7, 2010 at 9:25 pm #

    Your Thursday posts: the way you take something that could seem mundane or ordinary on the surface and let the love shine through so that we can see its beauty… it’s just freakin’ awesome.

  32. 32
    Heather October 7, 2010 at 10:26 pm #

    You’re so pretty. :P

    I’ve never had an edible fruit bouquet but it sounds excellent!

  33. 33
    Lady M October 8, 2010 at 3:52 am #

    ooh, I love Edible Arrangements too.

  34. 34
    Veronica October 8, 2010 at 5:02 am #

    It’s scary publishing something big like your post. And then uplifting when the internet comes in to hold you up and get you through it. It’s an amazing community we’ve got. (also hi, I’ve been lurking here for over 3 years now. I ought to start commenting.)

    Pony! That poops glitter! Look, I don’t need the glitter, but a pony lawnmower would be nice. We had 2 for 6 months last year to rehab and keep the grass down, but the grass is going to be waist high soon, so if you could pop one in the mail?

  35. 35
    Karen October 8, 2010 at 8:08 am #

    I’ve been lurking here for a good long while. Your posts are amazingly wonderful and realistic, and also slightly scary since my little boy is only 19 months old so my biggest concern is still how many times I’m going to do the emergency vehicles puzzle today. Thank you for your posts. Having been a bit of a trial as an 11 y.o. (through HS, sad to say) I want to reassure you that some part inside of Chickadee does recognize when she’s being ridiculous, and that part’s voice will get louder and louder until she is able to control the crazy. At about 17. 11 year old me is blamed for my former BIL not wanting children.

  36. 36
    Aimee October 8, 2010 at 11:04 am #

    Aw, heck… I’m going to send YOU a pony that poops glitter, for making my day a little better. Happy (belated) Love Thursday!

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