Archive | September, 2010

Love happens in words, in moments

by Mir on September 30, 2010 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

There are times when parenting is not the flowers-and-sunshine constant glow of awesomeness which I was sure it would be back when my kidlets were tiny and a bad day probably only meant that someone had barfed. (And a REALLY bad day meant they’d barfed ON ME.)

Two days into the new math class (and, coincidentally, MY increased homework load… hrm), I had to give Chickadee a pep talk about how it’s a lot easier to learn something new when you’re not busy having a massive freakout of epic IWILLNEVERLEARNTHIS OHMYGODWHATHAVEIDONEI’MSOSTUPID proportions while attempting to do so. And because she is every inch the super-appreciative nearly-teen you’d expect, my loving attempts to soothe her were met by… disdain, anger, and wailing and associated rending of garments.

Monkey, meanwhile, has essentially decided that it’s his way or the highway when it comes to schoolwork, and WOE BETIDE the teacher (or parent) who asks for more, because DON’T YOU KNOW HOW SMART HE IS ALREADY? (Oh, Asperger’s. You’re really kind of a snobby prick, sometimes.)

Point being: Not every day is an endless rainbow of joy. (more…)

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Anger-vu

by Mir on September 29, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

Fall in the south is awesome. And by “awesome” I mean “nearly nonexistent, what with the summer temps well into October save for a few moderate days when we fling open every window in the house and scream ‘IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY, QUICK, BREATHE IN THAT TEMPERATE AIR!’”

As I slide into my third fourth (math is hard!) Fall here, I find myself experiencing so many of the same emotions I’ve had in the past few years: The giddiness at the first chilly morning; the urge to bake again, now that it’s cool enough; and the justification of “sampling” the cornbread I made for dinner just to, you know, make sure it’s okay.

And then, of course, as I peek into my crock pot, bubbling away with hot and hearty food, I inhale a mixture of spices and the breeze, and my gaze drifts out the window, and once again, there’s an overgrown rodent chomping on my deck. Apparently Fall is time to EAT MY HOUSE. And for me to become irrationally angry about it.

The next time I see him (I chased the offender away, slotted silicone spoon in hand in case I needed a weapon), I’m letting Licorice go after him. Maybe she can gum him to death, teaching squirrels everywhere a lesson in… um… NOT DOING THAT.

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Smarticle*

by Mir on September 28, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I don’t know if you’ve maybe picked this up over the years, but we place a pretty big value on academic achievement, ’round these parts. Knowledge is power, and a big brain is a terrible thing to waste. Both children qualified for gifted education when we moved here (despite my bumbling) and yes, okay, according to their test scores, they’re freaks. Both of ‘em. And I expect them to work hard and perform up to their potential.

But. I never want to be That Parent. I don’t want to be the parent who believes that Precious Snookums is the very smartest and bestest and better than everyone else. I don’t want to be the parent haranguing the schools (actually, I can’t say enough good things about the gifted curriculum here, anyway) because my precious snowflakes need something befitting their SPESHULNESS or whatever. And I MOST ESPECIALLY don’t want to be the parent who teaches her kids—purposefully or by implication—that the only thing that makes them special is being smart.

It’s possible that my baggage in this particular area would NOT fit under the seat in front of me, is what I’m saying. (more…)

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A wonderful and normal time

by Mir on September 27, 2010 in Aspi(e)rations, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Hello! I am not dead. I was just doing non-computer-related things with our visitors all weekend, and it was lovely. Otto’s mom was like a kid in a candy store, just beaming at the kids and so excited to be here with us. Otto’s aunt quickly became Monkey’s new favorite person, and the rest of us sat back and chuckled as he brought various toys and items for her inspection and approval, and discussed many important issues of the day (“Do you believe in an afterlife?” he’d asked both our visitors at one point, out of the blue. “I don’t want to be dead forever, so I think there must be.”), and she, in turn, paid him unceasing attention and praised his every move.

Chickadee enjoyed the visit as well, I think, though she is sliding into teenagerhood in such a way that renders her conversations shorter, wedging them inbetween homework assignments and activities and times when she’d simply rather curl up on the couch and read a book.

We did a little sightseeing and a lot of eating and tons and tons of talking.

On the last night, Otto’s aunt turned to me and said, “I would never have guessed there’s anything wrong with Monkey. He’s delightful and he hasn’t had any problems at all!” (more…)

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Love is a long time comin’

by Mir on September 23, 2010 in Ottomatic For the People, Woohoo!

Today I am running around, trying to do at least twelve things at once. There’s work to be done and errands to attend to and the dog wants to play (which, YAY, but also, kind of busy here, pup!) and despite their “help” I had to really clean the kids’ bathroom, today, just to preserve my own sanity.

This afternoon my mother-in-law and her sister (Otto’s aunt and godmother) are arriving for their first visit to our home in Georgia. For those of you who are new, or maybe just to refresh your memory, Otto’s mom was sick and unable to travel for far too long. After a prolonged and scary medical drama, last year she received a liver and kidney transplant, and now she’s on a plane, headed here.

It’s kind of a big deal. A huge deal, really.

Otto’s mom has never seen him in his home, with his family, doing all of the things that he normally does. And even though I wished for this day years ago, it’s hard to believe it’s finally arrived. She can spoil her grandkids. She can see her oldest child in his element. She can see the man I see.

Today is a very good day.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone.

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Did I mention…?

by Mir on September 22, 2010 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

The best whines are ones wrapped up by an incontrovertible statement of pitifulness, one you cannot help but grant an immediate and full free Pass To Wallow on, as it were. So for a week if I need to complain about anything, I’m sure to tie it all up with a simple, “… and I can’t sleep because of the stupid Prednisone!” Because how could you possibly argue with me THEN? You can’t. Because I’m simply TOO PATHETIC. You wouldn’t argue with a woman suffering from steroid insomnia unless you were some sort of MONSTER.

This is a skill I’ve passed along to my children. Monkey—Literal Boy that he is—often changes it into something along the lines of “… because I’m JUST PITIFUL,” figuring why bother for imagery when one could get right to the heart of the matter. Chickadee, on the other hand, will highlight any little thing (“… and I have a little pimple RIGHT HERE!”) as proof that her life is tragic beyond compare and she requires your immediate pity. That’s my girl.

Anyway, I do believe we’ve reached the zenith of the Pity Olympics, this week. (more…)

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A tale of two vets

by Mir on September 21, 2010 in Oh look! Something furry!!

Allow me to preface the following, for my fellow worry-warts, with this: Licorice is fine. Thank goodness.

Some of you who’ve been around a long time may recall that when we first met Licorice a year ago, she had quite a few health concerns. For one thing, she was half-bald (as in, her entire butt and a good portion of her legs were naked), and what had originally been thought to be mange turned out to be allergies, but even so, we were warned that she might never regrow her fur. She also had chronic ear infections, although thought to be a side effect of allergies and general neglect.

I spent a lot of time at the vet with her, those first couple of months. I love the vet. She was kind and encouraging and assured me that we were on track to a healthy dog and that—even in my nervous over-mothering—I was doing fine. And I knew there was a second vet at our office, but we saw LadyVet exclusively for the first year, somehow, and that was fine. (more…)

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Sleep would be useful, here

by Mir on September 20, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Oh look! Something furry!!

I am really feeling SO much better. It’s funny how you don’t realize exactly how fond you are of oxygen—and the partaking of it with unencumbered lungs!—until that part of your life is a bit hampered. It’s been a long time since my asthma got aggravated like that, and I’d forgotten that the so-tired-and-achy feeling I was having often signals an inability to breathe. So. Definitely enjoying taking deep breaths, again, and trying to finish recovering from this stupid cold/allergy thing.

HOWEVER. Oh, steroids. How you eat into the gunk in my lungs! And then on into my brain! I’m sure there’s a perfectly valid scientific explanation for why Prednisone makes it hard to sleep, but I neither know nor care what it is. All I know is that I am awake and I must GO and MOVE and DO and be extremely cranky about it.

This, of course, means I am really a joy to be around. What with the BUSY and the CRANKY and the SLEEPY and the enhanced NEUROTIC from the convergence of all these things. Prednisone’s tagline should be: “You, only TOTALLY MORE ANNOYING.” (more…)

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Some things change, some don’t

by Mir on September 18, 2010 in Retail Therapy

I’m thinking it’s not much of a secret that I like to shop. But the thing is that I like to shop, but I don’t like to spend money. Those two things can go together, of course, but it takes a little more work.

One of the things I’ve done for years and years is to maintain a stash of gifts—assembled from various clearance finds—and then when it’s time to head to a birthday party or round up teacher gifts, I don’t have to run out and shop. This saves me from going to actual stores (because those places are filled with cranky people, plus they require getting dressed and leaving the house), plus it saves money because I’d rather buy stuff on sale whenever than buy stuff at full price because I need it RIGHT NOW.

[The best part about toys in the gift closet is that as the kids and their peers outgrow stuff, each year I do a November clean-out and go donate a bunch of stuff for the various holiday charities, and that's all kinds of fun.]

Unfortunately, like SO MANY other things in my life, my children are ruining my careful planning. Typical. (more…)

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Love fixes a bad day

by Mir on September 16, 2010 in Health is overrated, Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Oh look! Something furry!!, Ottomatic For the People

So today I was still sick, and like a responsible human who has been threatened by her husband if she doesn’t call the damn doctor already I called my doctor and went in to chat with her about this little problem where it’s become difficult to breathe, lately. To her credit, my doctor was a little alarmed about that.

As I sat there and bemoaned the fact that I have really been working really hard on getting fit this year, I’ve lost weight and started exercising regularly and STILL I seem to get sick all the time… she looked at her computer and looked at me and helpfully offered, “You should get a flu shot. Only, not today. Once you’re not sick anymore.” She was not even trying to be ironic. I think.

Anyway, it was determined that my asthma has gone rogue and maybe I have an infection on top of that and here, take these meds and oh by the way, I gave you this cough medicine before, do you still have some? I couldn’t remember if I did. (more…)

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