Love through gritted teeth

By Mir
April 8, 2010

So yesterday I woke up—after a night of half-awake pain and restlessness—with a stabbing pain just below my shoulder blade that only hurts when I move. Or breathe. So really, it’s no biggie at all, except of course that it is.

Now, I’ve certainly been known to Mess Up My Back through nothing more than foolishly existing or picking up something heavy, but I know EXACTLY what happened to my back two nights ago, and it is this: I went to bed stressed out and overwrought and through the miracle of psychosomatic neuroses I woke up with some bullshit injury. It seems like it would make more sense for my body to just politely jot off a note—perhaps, say, “Dear Mir, This is too much stress and soon it will make us hurt, so maybe have some ice cream and chill out, instead? Love, Your Body”—but that’s not what happened.

So I crept through yesterday holding myself as still as possible, enjoying a hearty diet of Advil and Tylenol and even an expired Vicodin I found in my bathroom. (It didn’t help. It did, however, make me nauseous. So that was super.) I grumped my way through the day and wasn’t much better by evening.

I forgot to plan for dinner. School had called three times. Important calls I’d made hadn’t been returned and work languished on my plate while I dealt with everything else. It was a cruddy day. This morning I woke up and the stabbing pain is still there, only now I am two days behind and can’t afford to sit around whining about it.

So.

I’ll see the chiropractor later. Maybe I’ll be fixed after that.

In the meantime, let’s all give thanks:

Give thanks that I’m not regaling you with every boring little detail of my freak injury. Why, last night while watching “Best of Deadliest Catch” on the DVR (which is sadder; that we watch it, that we TAPE it, or that we watch “Best of” like the regular season is JUST NOT ENOUGH CRAB FISHING for us?), I began insisting to my husband that maybe I didn’t have a back injury at all, but a pulmonary embolism like that captain turned out to have when he thought he’d just broken a rib. (“Because my pain is in the same place! And I spend months out of the year chain-smoking and fishing for crab! Wait….”)

Give thanks for spinal curvatures of under 20 degrees. Hip hip hooray! Chickadee has only mild scoliosis at this point. We’ll monitor for now, and maybe she’ll straighten up.

Give thanks for time’s relentless march, because even though it piles the work on my desk, even though it has not yet fixed my back, it has also brought us closer to Garden Season, otherwise known as Mir’s Endless Months Of Taking Pictures Of Her Plants And Going On And On About Them Like She’s The Only Damn Person In The World Who Ever Grew Her Own Food, Sheesh. Half my desk is covered in our sprout hopefuls, and I’m dreaming of gardening.

I’m also giving thanks for elephant-shaped watering cans. Because they are excellent and way better than pulmonary embolisms.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone. I’ll be over here keeping watch over my dirt, trying not to move too much. Ow.

34 Comments

  1. Aimee

    I’m wincing in sympathy. I’m sorry you hurt yourself, that sucks. I hope the chiro can help.

    The fact that Chickadee’s scoliosis is only mild is very good news. AND that is a righteous watering can and a I covet it!

  2. Julie in Austin

    Yay for mild scoliosis – my son Evan went through the exact same thing last year, and is also under 20 degrees, so we will re-xray later this summer and keep an eye on him.

    Best wishes to you to hopefully not internalize the stress too much. I hope things calm down for you soon, and for your sore shoulder, may I recommend a rice sock? (steal your husband’s longest sock, add some uncooked rice, tie the top end in a knot and microwave until toasty.) If that doesn’t work, then I prescribe 2 stout margaritas! =) Hang in there, Mir!

  3. Summer

    Ouch. I’ve woken up with that random just below the shoulder blade pain, which I’ve usually attributed to sleeping on my side incorrectly. Hurts miserably! When it happens to me, I become BFFs with my heating pad. I’ll drape it over the top of my office chair and lean back into it while I’m on the computer. That helps a lot, as does taking painkillers with coffee. The caffeine somehow makes the pills work faster and more effectively.

    Hope your pain leaves you soon.

  4. Nicki

    Great title today. I, too, and loving through gritten teeth. My pain, however, has less to do with any physical ailment, and more to do with wedding planning BS. Yes, BS. I’ve decided to elope. Now, if I can just convince him…

    At this rate, by next week I’ll be loving with TMJ.

  5. ks grandma

    Ah yes, the messages from the body. I have recently been through a session of being. very. careful, while making a plan to travel 12 hours (one way – two days for me) in a car, sleep in strange beds (or not), all to have the plans come to a screeching halt as the result of throwing my back out with a sneeze! Guess that bit of family togetherness wasn’t meant to be, eh?

  6. ramblin red

    hey now…not to add to your irrationalities, but I resemble that pulmonary embolism comment, sans the chain smoking and crab fishing, but seriously blew off “shoulder/back” pain (that I wrote off as psychosomatic/newborn stress) for a week that was actually pneumonia that perforated thru my lung and began to fill my chest cavity with bacterial crap. I also had fevers for a week, which should have tipped me off, but I was all of 1 week postpartum and blew it off as crazy hormones and whatnot. All that blowing off gave me an ambulance ride to 12 days in a hospital, near-death experience, surgery, and 3 weeks of IV antibiotics at home after discharge. Holy shizzle I was sick.

    But, hey, you’re probably fever free so I’m thinking you’re golden with the chiro. Hope the pain leaves very fast.

  7. Laura

    I hope you feel better soon! I’m sure you’ve heard that worry really does work, cause really, look at all the stuff we worry about and very little of it actually happens!

    I’m a scoliosis survivor, I’ve been rocking a “harrington rod” for 30 years. Nothing makes your posture more perfect than a stainless steel rod supporting your spine. Chickadee has all the benefits of modern medicine and you can do your part by worrying about it!

    Take care!

  8. Binkytowne

    “I’m also giving thanks for elephant-shaped watering cans. Because they are excellent and way better than pulmonary embolisms.” Very nice perspective you’ve got there. So true.

  9. Otto

    You can never have enough crab fishing on television.

    N.E.V.E.R.

    Because, if you did ever get to that point, you might be tempted to do something really stupid, like actually going crab fishing.

    Thankfully, the satellites are full of other dangerous things to watch … like people felling trees and driving on frozen rivers.

    We should be good for another year, but if Chickadee keeps pushing for an Alaskan camping trip, we might have to go crab fishing since we’ll be there, anyway. Just so long as neither of us has a pulmonary embolism while leveling the trailer …

    -otto

  10. karen

    Ok, I’m coveting your elephant watering can, too.. as if the dog wasn’t enough. I have the same damn back issues, and finally got a diagnosis of arthritis and to much stress. Awesome!

  11. Debbi

    I fractured a few ribs this winter from having an asthmatic cough for 6 weeks and then trying to shovel snow while having a coughing attack (not so smart lol). Not sure if I ever felt that much pain. And considering that you need to use your ribs to breathe, I lived through 2.5 months of complete pain until they healed. My chiropractor was awesome!! Go get checked to rule out major things, but the chiropractor should be able to help realign you to help with the pain.

  12. Mara

    I say bring on the gardening posts! I love them. Of course, I garden too and that might be why…

  13. Rachel

    I hadn’t even finished the first sentence & I was thinking, “Why hasn’t she called her Chiropractor? I know she has written about seeing one before?”

    I hope you feel better soon!

  14. Wendy

    in mostly unrelated ramblings, it is way way way fun to try to get a two or three year old to SAY “pulmonary embolism”. you should give it a try the next time you are amusing yourself at the expense of small children. also fun, “expedited justification” and “disestablishmentarianism” or you know, any large words that make you giggle when they sort of stumble and crash all over the syllables. This is how I amused myself on days when my kids were driving me bonkers and to this day I don’t tire of doing it to the small children of others.

  15. Katie in MA

    I think you should turn your elephant watering can (that I am totally coveting) into your version of the Travelocity Gnome. Discreetly place it somewhere in all of your gardening pics. I love gardening vicariously through you – so hurry up and feel better, mkay?

  16. Kristina in SD

    We love the Deadliest Catch. After having my 5th baby we were in the hospital and delighted to watch an all day marathon. Looking forward to the new season. This is what thrills us when we grow up. How embarrassing right?

  17. Megan

    Hmmm… I have not-so-random bum and thigh pain which is entirely related to doing squats and lunges with wild abandon as though I HADN’T gone exercise-free for the past three weeks. I’m not entirely sure I’m giving thanks for it though…

  18. Jan in Norman, OK

    Once this bout of pain eases, try some gentle stretching before you climb into bed.

  19. Crista

    Yay for mild scoliosis! Never thought I’d be saying that! lol.
    Hope you’re feeling better soon. You should never say no to ice cream! Especially when it’s the good stash.

  20. Tracy

    I’m so grateful for the news about Chickie. And I’m so sorry to hear of your back news but things are looking up…It’s gardening season, once again!

  21. Nelson's Mama

    Great news about Chickie! I was hoping for that – a dear friend went through that last year with her son and that’s what they are doing!

    Some New Year’s Eve foolishness (that may or may not have involved adult beverages) has left me with bum shoulder too. My orthopedic surgeon and I have a date bright and early next Thursday morning to fix my boo boo.

    Hope you were smarter than me…

  22. Tiffany

    just found out from the Ortho that the greatest chance of scoli getting worse is the 2 years after the girl starts her period. We are watching Emily like a flipping hawk now…she hasnt started yet but it looks like within the year or 18 months at the most for her to start having a cycle(yippee not) we are having back brace issues…meaning we have to get another one built as the first one corrected ZERO of her curve..

  23. Lisa

    GO FOR A MASSAGE!!!!! Before, after or instead of the chiro! :)Just go! And I love your elephant waterer! Happy Springtime!

  24. Beth

    I get the same thing when I’ve been stressing and doing that shallow breathing thing (almost like panting). It’s totally involuntary. Breathing that way for a prolonged period of time makes the muscles you describe very tight and painful. Seeing your chiropractor would be the best thing to do if he/she does soft tissue work. I hope the stress eases up soon!

  25. Kady

    Sorry it has been a rough few days. That Deadliest Catch boat docks in my neighborhood. Come to Seattle and you can see the real thing (and compare pulmonary embolism notes).

  26. mamaspeak

    I did not read all the comments bc I need to get to bed, so as not to add to my stress & pain quotient. May a suggest a “theracane” http://www.theracane.com/

    I do not work for these guys, I promise. I do have Fibromyalgia & have been dealing w/a herniated disc for the last 3 1/2 yrs. And I know a bit about internalizing stress into your back, neck & shoulder areas. Of all my special devices I’ve purchased over the years to help w/my pain and such, this tool, by far is the best. I purchased mine at a local back store, so you might want to try one of those by you.

    My guess is that you have a severe spasm as a result of stress. Chiro will help somewhat bc the muscles are pulling things out of place, but if I’m right you’ll be back in the same position in a few days. You have to treat the muscles, and then the bones. Massage & trigger points. (Who needs a MD, when you can have years of experience being sick!) Ok, my 2cents. Whatever happens, I do hope you get relief and fast! Nothing suck more than pain, (I would know). And being a mom you get no sick days. I’ll say a little prayer to FSM for you tonight.

  27. Tirzah

    Where on Earth did you find that watering can? My sis-in-law would love to have one..she’s a collector of all things elephants, but clearly that could be useful. lol

    I’m glad to hear about Chickadee’s mildness, that’s awesome!!! I hope you get to feelin’ better soon!

  28. Brigitte

    Just yesterday my dd compared her watering can to an elephant, bet she’d love yours!

    I’m grateful that, reading the comments, people haven’t come up with 100 scary, deadly things your shoulder pain could be. ;-)

  29. Lara

    Heating pad and massage with tennis ball between shoulder and wall as often as you can!

  30. RuthWells

    Owie owie. Have you ever tried acupuncture? I have a very finicky back due to an old injury, and acupuncture saved me.

    Yay for food growing! I’m trying soy beans this year.

  31. JennyM

    Hooray for mild curvatures of the spine!

    I planted lettuce and radish seeds a couple of weeks ago and I HAVE TINY PLANTS. The miracle of life, dude. Except — now I don’t know what to do with them. I think I’m supposed to thin them out.

  32. Ruthan Brodsky

    I started 2 businesses out of my home 27 years ago when you didn’t tell people you worked out of your home because they thought you weren’t really working. I’m a business and health writer. I also have a small curvitature of the spine, just enough to get into trouble- exercise works!
    I loved working at home: could volunteer at the kids’ school, wake up at 3 am and finish writing a project, and later, take my parents to doctors as they got older. My best move!

  33. Suzanne

    I just found your blog, LOVE IT. I’m a single mom as well, I have four kids, an Aspie son age 13; I’m pretty sure my 8-year-old is also on the spectrum as well.

    I just had to comment to tell you I have recently realized that I’m allergic to wheat and when I eat food that I have allergies and intolerances I GET DEBILITATING PAIN IN MY BACK IN THE SAME SPOT.

    I think those things are all related, honestly.

  34. Amy

    I did not read all the comments bc I need to get to bed, so as not to add to my stress & pain quotient. May a suggest a “theracane” http://www.theracane.com/

    I do not work for these guys, I promise. I do have Fibromyalgia & have been dealing w/a herniated disc for the last 3 1/2 yrs. And I know a bit about internalizing stress into your back, neck & shoulder areas. Of all my special devices I’ve purchased over the years to help w/my pain and such, this tool, by far is the best. I purchased mine at a local back store, so you might want to try one of those by you.

    My guess is that you have a severe spasm as a result of stress. Chiro will help somewhat bc the muscles are pulling things out of place, but if I’m right you’ll be back in the same position in a few days. You have to treat the muscles, and then the bones. Massage & trigger points. (Who needs a MD, when you can have years of experience being sick!) Ok, my 2cents. Whatever happens, I do hope you get relief and fast! Nothing suck more than pain, (I would know). And being a mom you get no sick days. I’ll say a little prayer to FSM for you tonight.

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