Archive | February, 2010

Fishnets and diets and stuff, oh my

by Mir on February 26, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

It’s Friday, which means 1) my brain is full and I am one marginal step above being an unintelligible idiot until I’ve had that magical opportunity to sleep late on Saturday and 2) it’s my day to post at Five Full Plates. Today I’m talking about sustainable eating choices, and I don’t mean hand-pampered organic vegetables that love the earth, I mean “things you do while on a diet” that can segue into being “things you do while eating like a normal human in regular everyday life.” Right now I vacillate between low-carb and no-carb, and I’m wondering if carbs and I have broken up forever or if they’ll make it up to me and I’ll give them another chance.

In completely unrelated news, after blowing up my boots I spent some time shopping for new ones, and then wore them last week at Mom 2.0 with my fishnets and felt like a rebel. I also snapped a picture with my iPhone for some folks on Twitter who’d listened to me complain about the shopping, and that’s how I ended up being today’s Shoe Friday at Jodifur. Things you cannot see in the picture: The boots have a little lizard-print band around the ankle (rowr!), and undressing after wearing fishnets all day yields fishnet-patterned thighs. (You’re welcome for not sharing a picture of that part.)

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Love’s imprinted

by Mir on February 25, 2010 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Monkey is terribly interested in imprinting. Specifically, he finds it unfair that Licorice “knows” I am her mommy, but that she also seems to find Chickadee a suitable stand-in in the event of my absence. Monkey, however, is clearly forever a puppy in her mind, and this bothers him. Chickadee or I can reach into Licorice’s mouth and extract even the tastiest treat without a hint of protest, but if Monkey approaches when she wants to be left alone she gives him a little “lay off, kid” growl.

“Someday I’ll be adult-sized!” he complains. “She’ll have to act like I’m big, then!”

“Oh, I don’t think it’ll matter,” I tell him with a chuckle. “I think she rather likes considering you a puppy. You’ll always be her puppy!”

He does not find this comforting. I, however, find it immensely comforting. There are times when I appreciate not being the only mom in the house, you know? (more…)

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The elephant on the bus

by Mir on February 24, 2010 in My name is Grumplestiltskin, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Part of what we do as parents is walk a constant tightrope between what makes our kids comfortable and what makes them grow. I think we all do it. It’s such a delicate balance to strike, under the best of circumstances, and what I’m learning with my son is that his particular tightrope is thirty stories up. And occasionally lit on fire. And I’m on it, trying not to fall off.

In Monkey’s case, he has a specific set of social and behavioral challenges, right? And we desperately want to help him overcome those challenges. But a lot of things are hard for him that just aren’t for me or Otto or his sister, and knowing when to push it and when to say “enough” is getting harder as he gets older.

I guess wrong a lot. It sucks. It sucks for him and it makes me wonder if I’ll ever get to where I KNOW things with him instead of the clueless flailing I feel like I do most of the time.

This year, the bus became An Issue. (more…)

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This wasn’t what I meant

by Mir on February 23, 2010 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

Every now and then I meet or talk with someone who says to me, “Hey! Remember when you blogged about XYZ? You never gave us an update! What ended up happening?” And then I have to reach back into my brain to access the compartment where I’m storing XYZ, and generally if I never updated on it, it means one of four things:

1) Nothing ever happened. I didn’t update you because there was nothing to tell.
2) Something boring happened. I didn’t update you because the update put me to sleep, and I was there.
3) Something happened that somehow fell outside the bounds of what I’m comfortable sharing, and so I just… let it go and hoped you wouldn’t notice. Sorry.
or
4) I forgot. Probably I saw something shiny.

The truth is that Option 4 is the most likely scenario, closely followed by Option 1. Options 2 and 3 are less common. And today you get Option 5. (more…)

Comments { 31 }

Passenger status: Lawless dork

by Mir on February 22, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

I am home from my trip to Texas, and if there’s anything I’ve learned in my half-dozen years of blogging, it’s that the crappy and embarrassing experiences are far more interesting than the good ones, for the most part. So although it was a fabulous trip and I got to hang out with people I love and met a slew of new, cool folks, you don’t care about any of that, right? (Although: How much do I love Karen Walrond? SO MUCH. She worked her camera magic, and when I saw my own face looking back at me in her Beautiful Faces of Mom 2.0 post I gasped. Karen is lovely inside and out, and I feel and am prettier when I’m with her. LOVE.)

More importantly, though:

1) Now that I’m home, I’m sick as a dog. OF COURSE.
2) I remembered why I sort of hate flying.
and
3) I am waiting for the TSA to come arrest me. So that’s fun. (more…)

Comments { 31 }

Ohbidet, ohbadah

by Mir on February 20, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

So I’m staying at the Four Seasons hotel in Houston this weekend (wooo Mom 2.0 Summit!), and it’s all swanky and stuff. Which I expected. Though through a mixture of circumstances and pure luck, my roommate and I were upgraded from the fancy room we were supposed to have to an entire fancy corporate apartment, which is utterly CRAYZEE. I mean, this apartment has a nicer kitchen than my house. (Not that that’s hard, but still….)

Anyway, we each have our own bedrooms, and our own bathrooms, and probably our own butlers, though I’ve not spent enough time in the apartment to find out.

The part that tickles me most, though, is that my (ginormous) bathroom has a bidet. I’m just curious: At what income level does it become too onerous to clean one’s lady bits without a dedicated piece of plumbing specifically targeted as such? I just want to be prepared, you know. Right now I am just using it as a place to hang my shower cap.

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Shhh, I’m working

by Mir on February 19, 2010 in Growing, Job? Huh?

I’m not here right now; I’m at Mom 2.0, about to go sit on a panel about Business Strategy. (I know, I know… I’m not sure how that happened, either.)

In the meantime, I’ve finally unveiled the key to my success over at Five Full Plates, and you might be surprised to find out what it is. I know I was. But hey, I’m not arguing. Yesterday I took off my jeans without unbuttoning them—hard to not love THAT.

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My business plan

by Mir on February 17, 2010 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Job? Huh?, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Otto and I were discussing work, and somehow the conversation worked around to the sorts of things I talk about when I go give guest lectures or speak on a panel or whatever. My darling daughter—who probably wonders why anyone would VOLUNTARILY subject themselves to me droning on and on—asked what people usually want from me when I’m asked to speak somewhere.

“Well,” I said, “it usually boils down to them wanting to know how to start a blog that people will actually want to read.”

“That’s EASY!” she said, throwing her hands in the air with the absurdity of it all. “You just tell them to get divorced, make their kids miserable, and go get on the Internet. Right?”

(I’m revamping all of my PowerPoint presentations now.)

Comments { 32 }

A true Olympic event

by Mir on February 16, 2010 in I'm dating the television, It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

The Olympics are pretty exciting stuff, right? Our whole family got pretty jazzed at the prospect of nights spent watching together, seeing the spirit of cooperation and competition, international goodwill, the whole shebang.

Now, it’s our family tradition to watch a recorded episode of Mythbusters on Friday nights while we eat dinner. The rest of the week, we eat at the table like semi-civilized humans, so this is a big treat for the kids, to eat in front of the TV. Last Friday night, we were all “Okay! Tonight we watch the Olympics opening ceremonies instead!” And we were all buzzing with anticipation.

So we sat down with dinner at about 6:30 or so, as we do. But the ceremonies didn’t start until 7:30. So we watched something else for a while. (Actually, I think we watched Man vs. Food which is a truly disgusting show, and therefore highly entertaining.)

We finished eating. Eventually, the Olympics began. (more…)

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My funny Valentine’s

by Mir on February 15, 2010 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Ottomatic For the People

I’m pretty sure I have covered here before how I am not a particularly romantic or sentimental person. Part of me would like to be, but that part has been beaten into submission by the practical part of me that doesn’t have the time or the brain space to actually care. So.

On Friday I realized that Valentine’s Day was this weekend, and I drew close to my beloved and stared deeply into his eyes and said, “I love you. Can we please not do anything for Valentine’s this year? Can we just… not?”

Otto immediately took on the look of a caged animal. I could almost HEAR the opposing arguments in his head. (“Woohoo!” “Wait, is this a trick?” “I’m off the hook!” “Hang on, I think I’m supposed to do this no matter what she says.”)

I tried not to laugh. “I’m serious, I just don’t think we arbitrarily need to make this a big deal.” And then ANOTHER look crossed his face and it dawned on me. “You already got me something!”

“Just something LITTLE,” he confessed. (more…)

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