Archive | December, 2009

Love is everything

by Mir on December 31, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Oh look! Something furry!!, Ottomatic For the People, Woohoo!

For the first time in my life, I have made a sizable, life-changing resolution for the new year. This will be the year I take my health more seriously. Otherwise known as: The year I learn to love or at least tolerate exercise, or die in the attempt. Otherwise known as: The year I refuse to get my ass kicked in a friendly little competition just because I have all the willpower of a jar of mayonnaise.

Mmmmm… mayonnaise….

Wait. Where was I?

Oh! Right. The competition starts tomorrow. So today, Otto and I went out to lunch for my favorite food on the planet and I ate myself silly. And then spent the ride home commenting on how full and happy I was, and how I would savor this day in all its deliciousness on account of I’m about to be horribly deprived as we head into 2010. (more…)

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She can hear me now

by Mir on December 29, 2009 in Oh look! Something furry!!

I promised you a tale of Licorice’s ears. It’s JUST as exciting as it sounds.

It comes as a huge shock, I’m sure, that I am something of a nervous dog-mommy. I am, after all, a nervous mom in general. I worry. I fret. If there was a giant LED chaser display in my head it would constantly stream MAH PRESHUS BAYBEEEEEES!!! (In red, natch.) The safety and comfort of my children is a constant preoccupation for me.

So back when we brought Licorice home, she had a pretty severe double ear infection, among other things. I quickly unloaded the month’s earnings at my local vet’s office as we went in for appointment after appointment to check on her recovery. First it was 14 days treatment, then 7 more, then “just one more week,” and finally she was proclaimed healed.

In the meantime, we cracked joke after joke about how Licorice fit into our family just fine on account of her food allergies and delicate disposition. (more…)

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Boring is good

by Mir on December 28, 2009 in What do I do all day?

I’m trying to think of another time in the nearing-six-year history of this blog when I didn’t post for three consecutive days, and I can’t come up with anything other than the time my hosting company broke their server and then lodged their heads so far up their asses I was offline for half a week. Truly, this sort of silence is unprecedented. Such a thing can only be the result of an event so catastrophic I’ll need forty paragraphs just to chronicle every horrific detail.

Or maybe I’ve just been sitting on the couch watching DVDs. Hard to say, really. I mean, there’s something like 176 episodes of The West Wing and I’d never seen any of them before last week, soooo….

Before I planted my ass in front of the television, though, there was Christmas. And on Christmas, we had my ex-husband for dinner. (more…)

Comments { 40 }

Love makes merry

by Mir on December 24, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Ottomatic For the People

Although I wish it for you every Thursday, this one in particular I hope finds you with peace and love in your heart, and kindness and laughter in your home.

xmas-eve-2009

I’m off to spend Christmas with the people I love most in the entire world. There’s soup to make and baking to be done and stockings to stuff and—of course—A Christmas Story to watch. Because nothing says “Love of Christ” like “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.”

Nonetheless: It is, indeed, a most wonderful life.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone… and here’s to making merry, no matter the season.

Comments { 34 }

So many shiny things

by Mir on December 22, 2009 in Retail Therapy

“Is there a way for me to write about this without sounding like a materialistic asshole?” I asked Otto.

“I dunno,” he answered.

“Maybe not,” I countered.

“Maybe,” he said.

I hate it when he won’t do my thinking for me. That’s totally why I hired married him.

Nevertheless, I have to take the chance here, because it is amusing. And far be it from me to pass up the chance to make fun of myself. So I am going to have to confess the entire sordid tale right from the beginning.

It starts, of course, with me being stupid. (more…)

Comments { 53 }

Oh how I suffer

by Mir on December 21, 2009 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

[A guess of what my 11-year-old daughter's journal would surely look like, if she had one.]

Friday, December 18th 2009
Dear Journal,

I let Mom come to school with me this morning to carry my stuff. There was a lot of stuff AND it was raining and I got wet and I hate that. She was pretty much okay except when Ms. Science told her I was missing part of my project. Then I’m pretty sure she would’ve gone into full lecture mode if we hadn’t run into the next teacher who needed cookies. Ugh!!

We didn’t do anything at school really. And tonight we’re eating dinner in front of the TV and watching Mythbusters, which is cool except I wish my brother wasn’t going to be there.

Chickie (more…)

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Halfway done

by Mir on December 19, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

No more pencils, no more books, no more children screaming and crying and freaking out over their homework and their teachers and various other school related things…

… at least until January.

This has been, without question, the hardest school year yet. And I don’t mean for the kids, I mean for ME. Okay, probably for them, too. But never before in the history of our public school experience have I been SO RELIEVED to head into winter break. I think we are all just DONE.

Before break, though, we had to get through The Last Day. (more…)

Comments { 31 }

I don’t know why he puts up with me

by Mir on December 18, 2009 in Ottomatic For the People

I’m over at Five Full Plates today, hurling my longsuffering husband right under the bus.

(I’m thinking I’m really going to need to come through at Christmas this year. I mean, that or just hide for a few days….)

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Love puts a bow on it

by Mir on December 17, 2009 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

I sometimes bitch and moan about things like teacher gifts, and it is primarily because I’m pretty good at bitching and moaning and not, in fact, because I hate teacher gifts. I actually sort of love doing teacher gifts. I like wrapping up multiple identical gifts. I enjoy layering different kinds of cookies into tins. I always get a smile out of the cards the kids make.

And it makes it feel like Christmas.

That’s a very welcome thing, right now, when—trees and lights and all other signs to the contrary—I’m generally not overly full of the holiday spirit.

But my kitchen counter IS full. Of cookies and paper and hot cocoa and bows and buckets and maybe even gratitude. (more…)

Comments { 20 }

Failure to fix

by Mir on December 16, 2009 in My name is Grumplestiltskin, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I seem to be on an F kick lately. I cannot imagine why. I’m sure it has nothing to do with a barely-even-subliminal desire to say a DIFFERENT word that starts with F, repeatedly. No no, of course not. It’s not as though I’d like to stick my head out the window right now and bellow…

… um, Frankenstein. Ahem.

After yesterday’s fudge incident (and yes, there are recipes that use evaporated rather than sweetened condensed, but then they call for things like marshmallow fluff, which I also didn’t have) I instead opted to make a giant batch of cookies and say “Screw fudge! Fudge is stupid!” I’m pleased to report the cookies came out just fine. I mean, I think they did. It’s not like I can actually eat them. Motherfrankenstein.

It’s all part of Operation Thank The Teachers For Narrowly Saving My Sanity. (more…)

Comments { 56 }
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