So romantic

by Mir on October 31, 2009 in Ottomatic For the People

A few mornings ago, I let Licorice hop into bed with Otto after I let her out. She commenced furiously licking his neck, which—because we’d read some article that basically said, “You think your dog is kissing you when she licks your mouth, but really she is hoping you’ll vomit up whatever you just ate, just like her wolf ancestors would’ve done”—caused Otto to peer at her and say, “No matter how many times you lick my Adam’s apple, it’s not going to cause yummy vomit to come spewing out of it.”

We had a good laugh over that, because we are twisted individuals.

And then that night, lying in bed, there was perhaps a bit of smooching happening, and I kissed his neck, and he murmured, “I’m not throwing up out my Adam’s apple for you, either.” And I laughed until I choked, but seriously, now. I am going to have a big neon sign made up where I can just flick a switch, and the bedroom will light up with, “Foreplay: UR DOIN IT WRONG.”

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13 Responses to “So romantic”

  1. 1
    Rebecca October 31, 2009 at 5:05 pm #

    I love the sign idea. Hilarious.

  2. 2
    Heather October 31, 2009 at 7:07 pm #

    Ha! That’s one way to wreck a moment ;)

  3. 3
    Catherine October 31, 2009 at 8:29 pm #

    Dogs R Funny. Once you start thinking like them, you’ll never be the same.

    Ask me how I know this. ;-)

  4. 4
    Tessa GJ October 31, 2009 at 10:10 pm #

    Let me know where you can order one of those signs, because that is totally something that would happen in our bedroom, too.

  5. 5
    annette October 31, 2009 at 10:14 pm #

    23 years of marriage and foreplay is totally figured out.
    All he has to do is…VACUUM(did I spell that right?) No need for any signs!

  6. 6
    BethR November 1, 2009 at 12:27 am #

    For some reason, this reminds me of the Saturday cartoon that pops up at The Devil’s Panties on a regular basis – “What not to say in the bedroom”

  7. 7
    Lori N November 1, 2009 at 8:42 am #

    Love it — my kind of humor

  8. 8
    Nicki November 1, 2009 at 9:31 am #

    That’s perfect! Can my sign come with a man? Otherwise…it’s just sad.

  9. 9
    MomCat November 1, 2009 at 2:00 pm #

    Both LOL and Ewwwwwww!! I’ll never think of dogs the same way again.

  10. 10
    Heidi November 1, 2009 at 4:30 pm #

    I think I just heard the school psychologist gasp.

  11. 11
    Sarah November 1, 2009 at 11:27 pm #

    That was so funny! I didn’t see that article, but my brother did and mentioned it over dinner (before which my mom’s very tiny puppy was licking everyone)
    Enjoy!

  12. 12
    Brigitte November 2, 2009 at 7:41 am #

    Hee, Heidi!

    I think your family will be licked to excess on Thanksgiving, then.

  13. 13
    Katie in MA November 2, 2009 at 3:53 pm #

    I’ve been reading WCS for years – so you’d think I’d know better than to read it while drinking my coffee. Now I wish I had a puppy so I could steal Otto’s line. :) Don’t think it’ll work without the pet…

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