Archive | October, 2009

So romantic

by Mir on October 31, 2009 in Ottomatic For the People

A few mornings ago, I let Licorice hop into bed with Otto after I let her out. She commenced furiously licking his neck, which—because we’d read some article that basically said, “You think your dog is kissing you when she licks your mouth, but really she is hoping you’ll vomit up whatever you just ate, just like her wolf ancestors would’ve done”—caused Otto to peer at her and say, “No matter how many times you lick my Adam’s apple, it’s not going to cause yummy vomit to come spewing out of it.”

We had a good laugh over that, because we are twisted individuals.

And then that night, lying in bed, there was perhaps a bit of smooching happening, and I kissed his neck, and he murmured, “I’m not throwing up out my Adam’s apple for you, either.” And I laughed until I choked, but seriously, now. I am going to have a big neon sign made up where I can just flick a switch, and the bedroom will light up with, “Foreplay: UR DOIN IT WRONG.”

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Identity crisis

by Mir on October 30, 2009 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, Ottomatic For the People

So we had this Big Important Meeting at school this week. The nice thing about completely obsessing and worrying over such an event is that it rarely turns out to be as bad as you’ve imagined. Really, the worst thing about these meetings (so far) is that no matter how much notice we give about the kids’ dad wanting to be teleconferenced in, the school seems to be chock-full of conference rooms without phones. And as much as I like Monkey’s classroom, spending a Big Important Meeting sitting in a child-sized chair isn’t really my idea of a good time.

Ahem.

Anyway, part of what we did was go over Monkey’s test results and review the Giant Report of Monkey-Related Information. [Side note: I like how such reports generally start out with something like "Monkey Lastname is a fourth grader at Local School. He is outgoing and eager to please." Like perhaps we're planning to list him on Petfinder and want people to know that he's a very good puppy.] The test results include all sorts of background and family information, too. (more…)

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Love makes sense of it all

by Mir on October 29, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I haven’t slept in about a week.

That’s an exaggeration, of course; I’ve slept, but not well, and not for long.

There’s a kind of worry that gets into my brain that makes it hard for me to compartmentalize and move around it. That worry is almost always something related to the kids; I get stuck in an endless mental loop of “But if A, then B. And if B, then C. And if C, OHMYGOD, D-Z! We’re all DOOMED!”

It’s not particularly productive or helpful. But I haven’t figured out how to circumvent it, yet. It leaves me with two choices: Accomplish nothing, so I am free to worry all day, or still accomplish stuff, but then lay awake at night catching up on worrying.

This week has been full of Option B. And coffee. (more…)

Comments { 31 }

Invasion

by Mir on October 27, 2009 in It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Oh look! Something furry!!

Fall has finally come to Georgia, and that means the temperatures have finally dipped below 70. Otto and I spent a day wrestling the pool cover in place, which made it all the more fun the next time the children accused us of planning wild partying for when they go off with their dad; usually we tell them that we swim naked while eating candy. This time, of course, Monkey said, “NO YOU CAN’T! The cover’s on the pool!” He looked so triumphant that I almost felt bad for telling him that, naturally, we grease up with frosting, slip under the cover, and use our empty pixie stick wrappers to suck air from the surface.

(He knew I was kidding, but that flicker of uncertainty—however brief—made it worth it.)

I’ve brought in the last of the green tomatoes, and one night when we had a freeze advisory I even brought in all of my miniature trees, which was interesting, because suddenly the dining room was transformed into a tiny forest.

There is a problem with dropping temps, though. (more…)

Comments { 42 }

It must be Monday

by Mir on October 26, 2009 in Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

How was your weekend? Our was pretty good (aside from the recital bloodbath on Saturday, of course). Almost relaxing, even, considering all of the running around we did and errands we ran and such. Plus we FINALLY figured out Halloween costumes, after months of vacillation, so that was a relief. (I lovingly helped things along: “Anyone who hasn’t made a costume decision by the end of the day will be on their own completely. Who wants more pancakes?”)

Otto and I enjoyed a game of Scrabble last night and went to bed at a decent hour, rather than what has become our Sunday night routine of staying up too late to watch Mad Men and then running around with last-minute Sunday night stuff and not getting to bed before midnight.

The stage was set for a perfectly pleasant Monday. Or so I thought, because I am a dumbass with bad karma. (more…)

Comments { 26 }

Live and learn (and cringe)

by Mir on October 24, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Chickadee had a piano recital today. It’s been a bone of contention around here for quite a while, because Chickadee loves playing the piano but she hates to practice.

Go ahead. I’ll give you a minute to puzzle that one out. (If you figure it out, could you let me know? Thanks.)

So the recital pieces got handed out, and Chickadee promptly did that thing that kids do, the thing where “Oh, it’s fine,” is the answer to everything. It was fine that she wasn’t practicing, or practicing for just three minutes at a time. It was fine that really, this was supposed to be her PRACTICE piece in preparation for a harder one, but due to her failure to actually learn this one with any alacrity, she’d never been promoted to the next piece. The recital would be fine, MOM, SHEESH.

I went to her teacher and asked what I should do, and was told that I should just let her be. So I did. (more…)

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Love goes beyond the label

by Mir on October 22, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Oh look! Something furry!!

I’ve had labels on the brain, this week. Go figure.

The irony is that we all seem to believe that labels = organization, and when I married Otto we gained a fancy electronic labelmaker that the kids seem to think is some wondrous hybrid of the Wii and the circus. There is never a happier day than when Otto lets them take out the labelmaker and label something.

So I’ve been noticing our labels on things. Bread flour. Wrenches. 2007 Taxes. They’re everywhere. They’re usually very illustrative. They add order to our world. They’re supposed to make things make sense.

I’m cute when I get all literal and ponderous over simple stuff, aren’t I? (more…)

Comments { 26 }

Gummy bears for dinner

by Mir on October 21, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Woohoo!

no-more-bracesI have promised to have all manner of sticky food available for the freshly un-braced boy, this evening. Sour Patch Kids and gum and whatever else he’d like. Nevermind that Halloween is in a little over a week; he’s spent two years unable to eat “anything delicious,” and he has a lot of catching up to do.

As he skipped out of the orthodontist this morning, still running his tongue endlessly over the unfamiliar, smooth surface of his teeth, I asked him how he felt.

“GREAT!” he answered. “I feel like today is the first day of the REST OF MY LIFE!”

I do, too.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and support, yesterday. Monkey may not understand that he has a fan club, but I appreciate each and every one of you more than I can say.

Comments { 42 }

Officially quirky

by Mir on October 20, 2009 in Aspi(e)rations, Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I have been know to watch reruns of Degrassi. On purpose. I’m not proud. I could tell you it’s because I used to watch the original show way back in the day, but I really don’t know if that’s any justification. And now Chickadee is old enough to watch it (sometimes), though as a whole the show is considerably more sexed up than I remember it being when I was younger.

Really, I think Degrassi reminds me of all of the teen drama shows I loved in my youth (90210, for example) crossed with those after school specials I never could stop watching. There’s drama! And suspense! And kissing! And often a Very Special Message.

So one day I was watching Degrassi while I pedaled my elliptical, and Chickadee wandered in, and we watched as this one “quirky” student became progressively more agitated over a variety of things, culminating in a dramatic teen tantrum.

“This totally reminds me of Monkey,” Chickadee said, as the boy threw things on the floor and yelled. (more…)

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Family learning

by Mir on October 18, 2009 in Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Tonight we decided that none of our usual standbys would do for Family Game Night, so we went ahead and opened up our Urban Myth game that was still sitting in its shrink wrap in the closet.

[Me: Where did we get this?
Otto: You gave it to me.
Me: Uh, no I didn't.
Otto: Are you sure? I thought you did.
Me: Nope, seems like something I'd remember.
Otto: Oh. In that case, I have no idea.]

Urban Myth says that it’s for ages 12+, but we are fans of rounding up. We read the rules and off we went.

It turned out to be rather more educational than we’d planned. (more…)

Comments { 36 }
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