Comments on: Love’s a free spirit

By: Katie in MA

Katie in MA — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 19:34:49 +0000

Yes you ARE a cool mom…because you care in all the right ways. You’ve learned how to hold close and when to let go and I really, really hope I can learn from everything you’ve shared with us.

By: mom, again

mom, again — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 02:32:24 +0000

My oldest went through a punk phase. I agreed she could dye her hair any color she wanted, the day she brought home straight-A’s (something she was capable of, but couldn’t be bothered to do.) Until then, she could only dye it a single color off the usual hair colouring shelf, and no bleaching. She went through high school alternating between the blackest black and the reddest red that L’Oreal had to offer. Hot pink wasn’t enough enticement to actually do homework.

By: margie

margie — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 13:24:30 +0000

hair. big deal. not a hill to die on.

By: Paula

Paula — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 08:40:07 +0000

What beautiful hair your son has, I can understand that he does not want to cut it. Ours had similar hair. Some day when he was eight, he wanted to dye it blue or pink, and although we had an agreement that he could wear his hair like he wanted, he was not allowed to do so. The reason we explained to him: being the class clown will not be helpful for your school career. He accepted it.

Later on he preferred to wear it supershort because of his soccer team buddies. Once, when he wanted to almost shave it completely, we pointed out that we do not like nazi-skinheads. And he agreed again.

Everything is possible, within limits set by social appearance.

By: Heather @ critterchronicles

Heather @ critterchronicles — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 01:24:53 +0000

My hair was also straight as a pin (with the exception of those times that I had a perm – yikes!), until I got my last perm in my freshman year of high school… and the curls never went away. My daughter has straight, straight hair, too, but only time will tell, I suppose, if she’ll suffer my fate of the curly locks at puberty.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 19:34:28 +0000

What are the free spirits around me wanting to do? Huh. Live off me for free. At 20. That WOULD make me a permission parent. Get thee a job, slattern!*

You have chosen your battles wisely. Hair decisions are temporary and not worth the fight.

But oh, Monkey’s hair. The hair of my dreams. I have baby fine, thin, not quite straight hair. It doesn’t curl, it just kind of hangs down and then bends about 30 degrees for the last inch and a half. It’s like it has the shape of straight with the strength of will of curly. Very odd.

Re Chickie’s Kool-Aid hair, above-mentioned 20-year old, when about 14, had $70-worth of blondish foils put in her brunette hair at a salon, courtesy of this lovin’ momma. It looked lovely. This happened on a Saturday.

The following Saturday morning, I went to pick her up from a sleep-over to find her with nearly platinum blond hair. I say nearly, because not only was it not quite that white, but having been done by 14-year olds, using a box of drug store dye, it hadn’t quite reached all the way to the roots in places. *sigh* I didn’t cry, but it was a close call. One week. A $70 colouring lasted one week. That’s not much bang for the buck for a single mom, I can tell you.

*To her credit, she is actively seeking employment. She also has avoided blond hair like the plague ever since. Also, I’ve gotten GREAT mileage out of, “Less than a week! $70!!! LESS THAN A WEEK!!!” for the last six years. I think that may well have been worth the money.

By: Pepper

Pepper — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:10:43 +0000

I think its great you let your children be their own person, hair color and style are the small things in life. Too often children aren’t allowed self-expression and end up hating their parents for it.

I thank my mom everyday for letting me be myself and not trying to mold me into something that I’m not.

By: Aimee

Aimee — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:01:55 +0000

Well, I think you’re a cool mom. :)

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:44:38 +0000

Somewhere in the back of my mind is always lurking this tidbit of parenting philosophy that says you need to make sure your children have enough rules so they don’t have to rebel BIG in order to rebel. You know, if you tell them having pierced ears is Evil they’ll sneak out and get their ears pierced instead of doing drugs.

Not that I agree with that! I think it was my dad’s philosophy…no makeup until 15, no pierced ears at all “over my dead body”, etc. (I got my ears pierced when I was 18 and Dad spluttered like he was going to explode when he realized he couldn’t do anything about it.)

I was a “good” kid with a lot of inner rebellion and resentment. I don’t want my kids to be that way. I can’t think of any specific examples of how my kids are free spirits, but I do know that we’ve tried very hard to not lay down laws that we can’t back up with good logic. We have had to back down and apologize for some rules we made that we shouldn’t have…some of them were made because we as parents wanted to look good to our peers. (urgghhh)

By: MomCat

MomCat — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:41:46 +0000

Lovely, both of your young mop tops! Give ‘em love through self-expression, I say. They will thank you for it. One day.