All boxed in

I’ve been on a bit of a tear around here, lately. It’s the spring cleaning bug, dontcha know. I start out cleaning, and then I plant an entire garden, and then half of it dies in a freak frost, and then I start spending hours outside, begging tiny wilted stumps of plants to JUST GROW. When that doesn’t work, I move on to other domestic chores.

All of which is to say, I can’t really babble for all that long, today, because I’m busy baking working like I’m supposed to. Ahem.

But I’d like to conduct a little informal poll. Say you’d been living in a house for coming up on two years, and you still had three unpacked boxes in your bedroom which had been opened, pawed through, rearranged, and then disregarded for who knows how long. Would you 1) go through them again, vowing to unpack or throw away or just 2) throw away without opening? I’m curious.

Also, would you list your first-wedding gown on eBay with an appropriately snarky commentary or would you just give it to Goodwill? And how much penance is appropriate for forcing your husband to live with your old wedding gown for two years, anyway?

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96 Responses to “All boxed in”

  1. 1
    daisy April 14, 2009 at 11:11 am #

    I actually might hold on to the wedding gown because of Chickadee. It is the wedding to her father and your gown…and yes…the marriage didn’t work, but the dress…they can be special and reworked and she might like it in 20 years or so.

  2. 2
    Linda Miller April 14, 2009 at 11:12 am #

    Go through it again and keep or toss. Sell the dress and use the money to do something fun that you otherwise wouldn’t spend the money on :).

  3. 3
    Leandra April 14, 2009 at 11:13 am #

    As for the box, I would have to go through it again because it might have insertmostspecialpreciousforgottenitemhere in it and you’ll always wonder what happened to said item if you just throw out the box. But maybe don’t ask me because I’m the world’s worst packrat.

    As for the dress, Daisy might be on to something. Maybe ask Chickie and then decide?

  4. 4
    Mir April 14, 2009 at 11:15 am #

    Okay, note on the dress: It will not be long enough for Chickadee. It was barely long enough for me, and she will be taller than I am. So remove that from the equation. ;)

  5. 5
    Rini April 14, 2009 at 11:16 am #

    That’s a good point on Chickadee. My parents were divorced almost literally before I was born (they waited for me to make it official, but my mom “discovered” me as they were finalizing the paperwork). I don’t fully understand why, but anything that proves they were once together is important to me.

    Chickie may or may not feel the same way, but it is absolutely something to consider before tossing the dress.

  6. 6
    meghann April 14, 2009 at 11:16 am #

    I kind of have to agree with Daisy. As for the box, go through it one last time, with a trash bag sitting next to you.

  7. 7
    Gem April 14, 2009 at 11:16 am #

    I would definitely just throw out what’s in the boxes. If you spend time going through them you will create a lot of work for yourself and really, if you have not used the stuff for 2 years, how badly can you need/want it?
    That said, I hate clutter
    Re the wedding dress: not sure whether or not you should keep it for Chickadee, she may never want it and you may not want it in the house. If you do decide to get rid of it I personally would donate it rather than sell it.

  8. 8
    Rini April 14, 2009 at 11:17 am #

    Comment rescinded – MAYBE.

    I would still casually bring it up to her, see if she has any objection to you getting rid of it.

    I don’t wear my mother’s wedding ring from her first marriage, but I do have it.

  9. 9
    shannon in oregon April 14, 2009 at 11:21 am #

    the box, toss it.

    the dress, that too (well, donate it to someone who will use it and love it).

  10. 10
    Megumi April 14, 2009 at 11:24 am #

    Unless you know that there’s something in the boxes that you want to keep (and if it has been 2 years maybe you don’t need it anyway), just toss the boxes whole – it is just too time consuming! Or, unless there are things in those boxes that can be donated.

    I would leave the dress up to Chickadee, there may come a time in her future that she may wish to take fabrics to make something (like a Christening gown).

  11. 11
    Lisa April 14, 2009 at 11:27 am #

    Another idea for the wedding dress – if Chickadee does not want it, it could be pieced out and made into an heirloom baptismal gown for the next generation. I am saving my dress from the first marriage in case either daughter wants to re-style it or to have made into a baptismal gown, should they choose to do so. If not, it will be quite vintage by then and possibly back in style – high neck collar and all!

  12. 12
    ikate/kakaty April 14, 2009 at 11:27 am #

    Toss the box – don’t even look in it

    As for the dress – I would leave it to Chickie to decide. Even if she can’t wear it she might want some part of it – I had a square of my moms dress along made into a handercheif for me to carry as my “something old”. I didn’t wear the dress, but it was an important part of the day.

  13. 13
    Cindy April 14, 2009 at 11:29 am #

    My mother’s wedding dress was worn by her youngest sister even though my parents divorced 20 years prior. So I’m with Daisy too. It’s not like you will pull it out and waltz about the house in it. (um, right?)

    As for the boxes, jeez, that is tough. I don’t think I could help myself from going through them one more time. Because THIS time will be different! I will sort! Throw away! Give away! Drop kick empty boxes all the way down the hall! (or, you know, whatever floats your particular boat)

  14. 14
    andi April 14, 2009 at 11:31 am #

    Since the dress will be too short for Chickadee you could use the fabric to make a pillow that could be used for the ring bearer. And if the fabric is suitable you could make a hankerchief for Monkey’s tux. But if there’s no sentimental value to the kids then I say just pass it along to goodwill.

  15. 15
    Heidi April 14, 2009 at 11:33 am #

    My dress went to Goodwill. If you decide to list it on eBay, I’d avoid the snarky comment part. It’s a shiny new beginning for someone else, and the comment may make them decide the dress has bad juju.

  16. 16
    Karishma April 14, 2009 at 11:33 am #

    i agree with the majority. even if she doesn’t want to/can’t wear it, she might be able to do something with it that’s special. and she’s probably too young to have imagined anything other than her actual wedding dress, so i’d let it stick around for a while until she’s sure either way.

  17. 17
    Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck April 14, 2009 at 11:35 am #

    Definitely go through the box ONE MORE TIME. But be ruthless. And maybe you could donate the dress to a cause like this: http://www.bridesagainstbreastcancer.org/

  18. 18
    sharon April 14, 2009 at 11:37 am #

    i would throw the boxes away. if I didn’t need anything out of them for two years, I wouldn’t worry about it. Dress to Goodwill. Although writing the snarky commentary could be fun! Maybe you could tell it to the clerk at Goodwill and make them smile.

  19. 19
    Jenn April 14, 2009 at 11:38 am #

    Toss the box, sell the dress. . .

    I’m totally unsentimental and LOVE to throw stuff away. I find it very freeing. :)

  20. 20
    Catherine April 14, 2009 at 11:41 am #

    My girls loved to play dress up in all my old prom-bridesmaid dressess. And even now at the ages of 20 and 23 they still every now and then will pull out my wedding dress and put it on. They are both much taller that I am and could never wear it without some serious alterations. But the stories and questions it inspires are well worth the amount of space it takes to store. BYT I am not a pack rat. I throw every thing out so its a big deal that I saved these dresses for them. Just sayin.

  21. 21
    Erika April 14, 2009 at 11:41 am #

    Toss the box, sell the dress and take Otto out with the proceeds.

  22. 22
    Beth A. April 14, 2009 at 11:43 am #

    Ok, as for the box, I agree with the person who said to go through it one more time…with the trash can sitting next to you. I have been known to throw things away then realize something of hubby’s was in it the next day.

    As for the dress…if it won’t fit Chickadee one day, ask her if she cares if you get rid of it. If she has a problem with that plan, have the dress taken apart and pieced into something both kids might like to use in the future…such as baptismal gowns or ring-bearer pillows for their weddings. Otherwise, you could donate it. Up here we have donation sites that are specifically for dresses that are formals and will go to girls and women who can’t afford their own dress.

  23. 23
    monica April 14, 2009 at 11:45 am #

    get rid of the boxes. do not look in them just toss. and the dress. well since i no longer have the dress that i got married in and i’m still married to the guy i say get rid of it. but i am not sentimental,at all. my kids might hate me one day because i’ve kept nothing.

  24. 24
    Angela April 14, 2009 at 11:51 am #

    I’d let chickadee and you work together to cut up the wedding dress and make something else cool. Even if its just satin covered photo boxes and or a pillow. While the marriage ended for her at least it connects her original family together. You could also hem some edges and make a silky for her to keep in a hope chest for her baby to snuggle with. Just an idea. But have some fun with it. Most wedding dresses don’t really get reused.

  25. 25
    Crista April 14, 2009 at 11:54 am #

    Lol, you can tell who the packrats are around here. I’d go thru the boxes one more time with a garbage bag and a donate box nearby.
    I like the idea of using the dress fabric for something else: christening gown, ring pillow, handkerchief.
    But that isn’t the question you asked :) I’d sell it.

  26. 26
    StephLove April 14, 2009 at 11:54 am #

    Hmm… We moved in almost seven years ago and have unopened boxes in the basement so I think I’m disqualified from answering that one. Except you have to look, right, to decide where to donate the stuff. The environmentalist in me can’t bear the idea of tossing whole boxes in the trash.

    The dress? My mom got rid of her wedding and engagement rings almost as soon as my parents separated and I remember being a little miffed, but I never even thought about the dress, which I’m sure she also discarded. It wasn’t something we saw on an everyday basis so it just didn’t register with us. I think whatever you want to do with it would be okay.

  27. 27
    Rosie April 14, 2009 at 12:11 pm #

    I am a huge packrat, and would be categorically unable to throw out a box without going through it first. As a result, I have a basement full of boxes that I fully intend to go through “someday”. I hear there are some species of people who are not sentimental and throw things out willy-nilly, but that is not me. However, you probably don’t want to become me, either.

  28. 28
    Nancy R April 14, 2009 at 12:13 pm #

    I have no opinion on the dress.

    However, I found a gift check to the tune of $250 in a Christmas card when I went through our last three boxes (dh was out of town for the week and I decided to bite the bullet). The check was from his parents, and when asked why they’d never mentioned the uncashed check they said they assumed we were saving it for something.

    So, unless you’re sure there are no dollas in there, I’d go through the box.

  29. 29
    beth s April 14, 2009 at 12:23 pm #

    keep the dress. I actually wore my mom’s dress and we thought there was no way it was going to work. She is considerably shorter and much smaller than me but the seamstress was able to make it work and it cost very little. Granted, I could not lift my arms above my head without fear of splitting the back open, but for one evening it worked fine. And it was super cheap and held special memories. I am saving it (we only have a son) but maybe the christening gown or ring bearer ideas will be used in the future. I doubt the ancient lace would hold up to another wedding anyway.

  30. 30
    Jodi April 14, 2009 at 12:27 pm #

    Goodwill the dress. Done.

    I can’t offer any advice on the boxes. I’ve lived in my house for seven years and still have boxes tucked away. But mostly they contain things I don’t use but can’t get rid of, like a yellow and white cup I loved as a child, dolls my grandmother made, high school yearbooks, etc.

    I’m on a tear myself. Have taken two big loads to the thrift store recently. And I instituted a 3-for-1 clothing swap: if I buy one item, I have to get rid of three.

  31. 31
    Chuck April 14, 2009 at 12:28 pm #

    I still have some boxes of junk in my closet, so I have to say I’d probably go through them again. I have found things that I found useful, years later. It takes me forever to unpack and get settled. But I’ve never owned a wedding gown…they don’t make them in my size. :) (Sorry, couldn’t resist…)

  32. 32
    crockpot lady April 14, 2009 at 12:30 pm #

    I’d give the unopened box and the wedding dress to Goodwill.
    don’t do the snarky eBay thing. you can write it, but don’t post it.
    because of Karma.
    nor do you want chickadee wearing it.
    because of Karma.
    ;-)
    –steph

  33. 33
    The Other Leanne April 14, 2009 at 12:31 pm #

    I just finished cleaning out the storage unit I’ve had for 15 years. I had intended upon having a garage sale when the weather got nicer. I went through every little thing and it was a nice trip down memory lane, but in the end I decided to a) give stuff to Goodwill or b) take it to the dump. It was an incredibly liberating experience. I could go on and on, but this is your blog not mine!

  34. 34
    Pamela April 14, 2009 at 12:31 pm #

    My mother got rid of her wedding dress post-divorce, and now that I’m planning my own wedding, I’m kind of sad about that. I would definitely not have wanted to wear it, but it would have been nice to incorporate a piece of it.

    If she’d asked me (which she didn’t) I would probably have told her to go ahead and throw it out, because I knew that’s what she wanted to hear. In your shoes, I might keep it on spec.

  35. 35
    kat April 14, 2009 at 12:40 pm #

    Go through the boxes one last time and then pitch them. At first I thought goodwill the dress, but now I’m for saving it for Chickadee. I think she’s too young to decide now, but agree with the chorus that it might mean a lot to her.

  36. 36
    Jamie AZ April 14, 2009 at 12:44 pm #

    Taking the easy way out on the dress – “yeah, what they all said up there!” For the boxes, I’d go through them, but a trash/Goodwill bag next to me to receive said stuff I haven’t found a use for in two years.

    We’re going to be moving back to the DFW area later in the year and I’m already looking at things in a “do we really need to keep this” light.

  37. 37
    Burgh Baby April 14, 2009 at 12:44 pm #

    Shhh . . . Don’t tell my husband this little secret. He had TEN boxes of stuff that we had moved three times over the course of five years. He had opened them, pillaged them, and even taken a few items out of the box before closing them back up. Three more years passed, the boxes untouched, until one day I found myself alone in the garage with them. On trash day.

    Two years have passed since that fateful day, and he has never once asked about the huge stack of boxes that just magically disappeared.

  38. 38
    keyomi April 14, 2009 at 12:46 pm #

    daisy’s first comment is right. also i wud re-open the box, go thru its content and finally decide what to do with it, the promise that if i ever have to open the box again, i will just trash it!

  39. 39
    Amy April 14, 2009 at 12:49 pm #

    I’d go through the boxes and anything that couldn’t be put in a place immediately, I’d toss.

    I’d keep the dress…pack it away, keep it packed away, until Chickadee is older. Then let her decide what to do with it. It may mean something to her–it may not. You never know…

  40. 40
    Kristen April 14, 2009 at 12:51 pm #

    Go through the boxes one more time and get rid of anything that can’t be put away immediately. Keep the wedding dress for Chickadee AFTER posting a picture of it for us to see.

  41. 41
    Sheila April 14, 2009 at 1:00 pm #

    Pack rat here. I keep EVERYTHING.

    Obviously, I am of no help in this discussion…

  42. 42
    Anna April 14, 2009 at 1:04 pm #

    IF you can manage to go through it one final time, do it, but then get it out of your bedroom. If you can’t, just throw it away.
    Not that I’m one to talk…. we’ve been here two years, and there are still a couple of boxes here and there, including the bedroom.

  43. 43
    Melinda April 14, 2009 at 1:04 pm #

    Here’s something else you could do with the wedding dress:
    http://richbride-poorbride.blogspot.com/

  44. 44
    Dawn April 14, 2009 at 1:11 pm #

    Go through the boxes. Hold up each item and if you don’t immediately want to shout, “Yes! I can use this in the [insert name of appropriate room here]!” it goes into a fourth box, which is the one you will put out with the next trash pick-up. Be ruthless! If these boxes have been sitting there for 2 years it is highly unlikely you really need to keep any of it.

    As for the dress, I’d say what Amy said. Pack it away safely and let Chickie decide when the time comes. She’s too young to decide now. She may hate the idea, but she may love it and it would be a shame to have gotten rid of it in that case.

    Just had a thought. You could try a social experiment and put the contents of the boxes out by the curb to see what scavangers come by. I had what I considered garbage set out by the curb for the bulk garbage pick up and by the time the garbage collectors got here, half of it had been “saved” by people who thought it just what they were looking for. Including the 12 partially used cans of old paint that were various colours. Dude planned to mix them all together and paint a shed with it. You would, of course, have to take photos of the before and after pile and blog about it. I’m just sayin’…

  45. 45
    AKD April 14, 2009 at 1:17 pm #

    Get a ruthless friend to come over and help you go through the boxes one more time and make a decision about EACH ITEM right then and there. Have this friend commit to seeing the whole thing through, including taking the stuff to Goodwill right away. No getting distracted by shiny things!! Limit yourself as to the number of categories you can put stuff in so you don’t end up with a lot of “this requires another step on my part” piles.
    Definitely give the dress to the Goodwill. Too much of a drag to store and when it comes time, if Chickadee or Monkey wants a memento for their own wedding, I’m sure something else can be found.

  46. 46
    Sharkey April 14, 2009 at 1:21 pm #

    My parents divorced when I was in about second grade, and even if it had been an option for me, I don’t think I would’ve wanted to wear the dress. Yes, they’re my parents, but the dress was worn for a wedding that ended in divorce. I’m not really superstitious (got my dress from a consignment shop, so that may have been its history as well), but it would just seem weird. And although my parents handled things really well (in front of us, anyway), I wouldn’t have wanted the extra pressure of potentially making someone (read: stepmom) uncomfortable by wearing it on an already emotionally-charged day.

    How about donating it to some of Otto’s students and letting them do a trash the dress session? :)

  47. 47
    mamajama April 14, 2009 at 1:31 pm #

    My mother was married before she met my father, and she didn’t keep so much as a photo. I think if having the dress around makes you feel crummy, that is a good reason to get rid of it. I would probably go through the boxes to give to goodwill, but not allow any of it to stick around.

  48. 48
    Jeni T April 14, 2009 at 1:37 pm #

    I would go through the boxes again. I had a pile of stuff that needed to be gone through. I would start & stop & then go back later. When I finally buckled down to do it, I had some things worth keeping in there (including a gift card that was about to expire). So one last look never hurts as long as that last look is a quick one & then get it out of the house. As far as the dress – i say hold onto it for now & wait to Chickadee is older for her to decide, even if she doesn’t end up wearing it.

  49. 49
    Katie in MA April 14, 2009 at 1:40 pm #

    I was gonna suggest letting Chickie dye the dress or use it to turn it into something funky for that teen phase that I’m sure is just around the corner (ducking), but I really like Jessica’s idea of donating it to a worthy cause…

  50. 50
    Debbi April 14, 2009 at 1:42 pm #

    I would do a quick peek in the boxes to make sure nothing sentimental is in there and toss the rest :-) If you didnt’ need it in this time period, you probably never will.

    The dress…depends, you could do ebay and give them money to charity or just give it to goodwill. Ebay might be fun ;-)

  51. 51
    Debbi April 14, 2009 at 1:43 pm #

    of course burning the dress could be fun too ;-) LOL!!

  52. 52
    Amelia April 14, 2009 at 1:50 pm #

    I’d donate the boxes. Maybe go through them JUST TO MAKE SURE THEY DON’T CONTAIN PERSONAL INFORMATION…shred that and keep absolutely nothing else. In fact, if you have packratty tendencies like I do, you could pay a non-packrat (one of your kids, perhaps?) to go through them and give you just the stuff that needs to be shredded.

    As for the dress…I have one of those, too. Keeping it for my daughter is just not going to happen. I plan to give it to Brides Against Breast Cancer; it’s such a cool concept (http://bridesagainstbreastcancer.org). I bet Chickadee would even like to help you get it ready to send.

  53. 53
    Tracy April 14, 2009 at 1:56 pm #

    Wow, I just realized that I don’t have a clue where my wedding dress is. Of course, that marriage ended in divorce as well but still, where the heck is it? I obviously donated it, otherwise, I would remember selling it. Right?

    As for the box, just put it out with the trash. Of course, I would have to look in it because I wouldn’t be able to remember what was in it.

    I know my memory isn’t very good and I’m only 40 something. It ain’t gettin’ no better! =o)

  54. 54
    Susan April 14, 2009 at 1:57 pm #

    I would definitely put the wedding dress on ebay. And I’d go through the box on last time.

  55. 55
    Susan April 14, 2009 at 1:57 pm #

    Oh! How about sealing the box and putting it on ebay too! Mystery box.

  56. 56
    Ani April 14, 2009 at 2:26 pm #

    1. Go thru the box, cause it may have things you don’t “need” but want to keep, hence why they didn’t make it out of the box yet.

    2. My mom pitched her wedding dress and I was sad about it when I got married, even though my parents are divorced. Sometimes it’s about the something old/borrowed and not about the results. As to Otto, heck, has he even noticed it’s there? (Men are NOT observant of these things, in my experience)

  57. 57
    Amy April 14, 2009 at 2:51 pm #

    I’d go through the boxes first, but then promise myself to either use or get rid of every item in them. My problem is that my idea of “use” might mean “save this in another place for some as-yet-undetermined purpose.” As for the wedding dress, I’d either sell it or salvage the fabric out of it for my crafty projects.

  58. 58
    Little Bird April 14, 2009 at 2:52 pm #

    Go through the box! There always seems to be something, that one thing, in any box you pitch with out going through it first. That thing that turns out to be a cherished memento.
    As for the dress, talk about it with Chickadee. If she has no opinion on the matter donate it, to a high school drama department. They always need costumes. I have done this with 3 bridesmaids dresses, and my old high school was thrilled to get them. Seems like an odd choice, but the dress will get lots of use and you can always harbor that little thought “HAH!”.

  59. 59
    Scottsdale Girl April 14, 2009 at 2:59 pm #

    Ack. I have no dog in this fight.

  60. 60
    MomCat April 14, 2009 at 3:02 pm #

    You just made me feel a lot better about the three unpacked boxes in my house, sitting there since February. That gives me permission to not feel guilty yet. Thank you!

    I’d go through the boxes room again, ruthlessly.

    My wedding dress is unwearable after twenty-three years, in spite of being “archived” by a very expensive dry cleaner. I was saving it for my daughter to rework for her wedding one day, but I might as well have sold it.

  61. 61
    Brigitte April 14, 2009 at 3:02 pm #

    I’d definitely go through the box – isn’t there a reason it got packed in the first place (maybe)? But the dress I’d just give to Goodwill. I’d get myself way too riled up if I did an ebay description of it, and get more riled waiting for the auction to end and be paid for and all that. Easier on the emotions to just ditch it!

  62. 62
    Kelly April 14, 2009 at 3:36 pm #

    I ended up getting my wedding dress cut into Christening gown for my children, hoping that would be the end of storing it – and apparently they barely used part of the train and now I have both things hanging in a closet.

    I would go through the box at a high-level scan and then goodwill it or trash it.

    The dress I’d probably ask Chic what she wants you to do with it. Keep it for her, or ebay it. I’d say ebay over giveaway because the money could go to Chic.

  63. 63
    Kelly April 14, 2009 at 3:37 pm #

    Sorry didn’t mean to abbreviate Chickadee so much in that last post – I don’t like abbreviations of names like that and didn’t mean to do that. :) Its been a long day already.

  64. 64
    Jill in Atlanta April 14, 2009 at 4:03 pm #

    I would peek in the boxes but wouldn’t get too involved digging. I would also save the dress for Chickadee. I wore my grandmother’s. I wouldn’t worry about Otto. You left the first and married him. That’s all that matters.

  65. 65
    Headless Mom April 14, 2009 at 4:13 pm #

    Uh oh. I’ve been in my house 6+ years and have many, many boxes like that.

    Thanks for the guilt.

  66. 66
    Michelle April 14, 2009 at 4:25 pm #

    Maybe it’s because I’m all young and sentimental and planning my wedding, but I could NEVER part with my dress – even if it were from a previous marriage. I am a pac rat.

  67. 67
    Jennifer Joyner April 14, 2009 at 4:27 pm #

    Sell the dress! It’s just fabric with no sentimental value…why not profit and give someone else the chance to get a wedding dress for cheap? Do go through the box, though…there may be something of value there!

  68. 68
    Jane April 14, 2009 at 5:04 pm #

    Open the boxes, keep or discard right away and be done.
    My first wedding dress lived in a friend’s attic for years (I always say no attic is complete without and old wedding gown.) I think she tossed it when they moved. Donate it tomorrow!

  69. 69
    khubb April 14, 2009 at 5:06 pm #

    Go through the boxes one last time and make a vow to yourself to finish the project….sell the dress on e-bay and put the money in the kids college funds. :)

    I make it all sound so simple – please don’t come to my house, I’ve only lived there seven years. I just haven’t had the time!

  70. 70
    Jennifer April 14, 2009 at 5:13 pm #

    If you have a designated donation box or pile in your house, take the two boxes there and empty them into the pile. Then you’ll be pulling things out to keep vs choosing things to go in.

  71. 71
    Sasha April 14, 2009 at 5:59 pm #

    The second the garbage truck hauls away that box, you will realize that some thing in that box that you thought was useless is something you absolutely can’t live without OR you will now have to pay through the nose for.

    I know this from experience.

  72. 72
    ccr in MA April 14, 2009 at 6:12 pm #

    I would advise that you just get rid of the boxes. But were they mine, I know I would go through them again, because what if there was something important in there?

  73. 73
    Jan April 14, 2009 at 6:52 pm #

    No idea about the wedding dress.

    What I would do with the boxes is move them to the garage/basement/storage area in order to tidy up the bedroom, planning, of course, to go through them later.

    Then, next time I moved, I would go through them while I was packing.

    What? You didn’t say what should you do, you asked what I would do. I didn’t say it was a good plan, but it’s what I would almost certainly do.

    I would also almost certainly not be able to bring myself to pitch it.

    You could always dump the entire contents on your bed and then you’d have to take care of it before you could sleep again.

  74. 74
    Heather April 14, 2009 at 7:01 pm #

    We move approximately every 2-3 years (thanks, Ar’my!), and inevitably there is always at least one box that we never end up going through. It just moves with us from house to house, never finding a real home, but because it’s mostly papers and stuff, we can’t bring ourselves to just junk it all, either. Going through it is one of my goals this year.

    And the wedding dress? Give it to Goodwill. My mom tried to consign my sister’s unused dress purchased 3 years ago for $700 and only got $100 back. They don’t go for much, even on eBay. Perhaps it would be best to let someone who doesn’t know the fate of its wearer find joy in it when something more expensive it out of reach.

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    Betsy April 14, 2009 at 7:14 pm #

    Take it from a mother of 2 grown daughters and one daughter-in-law…THEY DO NOT WANT YOUR WEDDDING GOWN…they want one of their own!

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    mama speak April 14, 2009 at 7:21 pm #

    I have (4) boxes (in a closet) that still have yet to be unpacked (mostly papers & college/high school mementos) 3 years now. Drives my husband bat-shite crazy. However, his pile, in the garage, (the one that prevents us from parking in the garage,) doesn’t bother him at all. Perhaps I should go thru them tonight, I just went on a terror of our junk drawer (why do we have approx 1K pens, yet I can’t find one that works???) So I have no good advice on that one.

    Get rid of dress. Too much bad karma floating around it. Make suggestion to Chickie about material ideas if interested, but most likely she does not care. She wouldn’t want to restyle it, trust me very, very few brides don’t want their own brand new dress. But do get it out of the house. Once again Otto proves himself saintly.

    I’m sure you can bake yourself as a penance.

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    Karen April 14, 2009 at 7:27 pm #

    Go through the boxes in case there is something sentimental in there, then give to good will… SELL THE DRESS, and go out with Otto for a romantic evening with the proceeds. that was totally meant to be! I’m just saying…

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    nae April 14, 2009 at 7:31 pm #

    1.Toss the box’s. Don’t look inside them, just pile them into the car and take them to goodwill.

    2.Toss the dress.

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    daysgoby April 14, 2009 at 7:38 pm #

    Toss the dress, keep the veil. (Or something else you wore that can be special for her.) Boxes? Pah. You don’t need what’s in those stinking boxes…..

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    BethR April 14, 2009 at 7:47 pm #

    Boxes: sort one last time and save/toss/donate/sell everything in them.

    Dress: list the dress on eBay and skip the snarky comment. Reminds me, I need to do that too.

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    carrie April 14, 2009 at 7:54 pm #

    I’d go through the boxes one more time, with a trash bag at my side — put an end to it once and for all.

    I’d sell the dress — but no snarky comments. No one wants to buy an unhappy wedding dress.

    But that’s just me…

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    Anne April 14, 2009 at 8:23 pm #

    Go through the boxes for sure. As certainly as God made little green apples if you don’t you’ll be looking for something and convince yourself that it was in one of those boxes and then you’ll lie awake for weeks, beating yourself up about having thrown them away.
    As for the wedding dress…I’d keep it for Chickie, but not necessarily to wear. My baby blankets were edged in some of the material from my mum’s dress, and the cushions our pageboys carried were made by Mum from the pieces she still had after 28 years. Just because it won’t fit as a dress doesn’t mean that it can’t be used in some way.

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    premenopaws April 14, 2009 at 10:01 pm #

    List the dress on craigslist for free. Put in the ad that whoever writes you the best/most creative paragraph as to why they deserve a free wedding dress wins it. Or, better yet, offer to trade it for something really silly and completely unrelated… like a flat of petunias or a 20 pound ham or a set of steak knives or something. Really, have fun. I’d prefer to let Chickie off the hook and not have to deal with the pressure of worrying about hurting your feelings if she chooses not to wear it after you’ve bothered to keep and store it for 20 years.

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    just beaux April 14, 2009 at 10:17 pm #

    Obviously if you have already opened them and gone through them once and you didn’t already pitch them, then there must be a reason why you have held on to them for this long. If the boxes are just there in your bedroom and they bother you, put them in the basement. Go back to sorting them later.
    As for the dress, snarky comments do no one any good. Much like Carrie says.
    I’d toss the dress.

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    feistyMNgirl April 15, 2009 at 12:15 am #

    the dress: give it to Goodwill. I gave mine this year *after 8 years* and it felt good to get rid of it. marriage doesn’t need the dress, that is for sure!

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    Colleen April 15, 2009 at 12:37 am #

    We have had something like 12 boxes full of CDs on the floor of our bedroom since Oct. 2007 when we moved. We need a nice entertainment center to put them in but there are over 1000 and I can’t find one I like, and even though they’re all loaded into iTunes we can’t bring ourselves to part with them because we’re old school and we are positive that having that many CDs makes us cool…

    aaand regarding the dress. I’d just give it to Goodwill, but I was 8 months pregnant when I got married, so I didn’t save mine even though I’m still married to the guy.

    Obviously, I’m no help to you.

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    Andrea April 15, 2009 at 6:07 am #

    Go through the box and I’d sell the dress but that’s just me. I have a friend with two boys and a miserable marriage but she just won’t part with the dress for some reason. Oh well, to each her own.

    You’re a great mom who keeps their dad close in their lives but in the end, I’d probably ask your daughter if she wants it and if she does, put it away and out of site for coming years. She may want it but it doesn’t mean you need to trip over it at every turn!

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    Tam King April 15, 2009 at 7:00 am #

    1. The Dress – Ask Chicky.. if she wants it, hang on to it, if not give it to goodwill.

    2. The boxes. WE DID THIS, we lived in our house for 2 years and never looked into any of these 3 boxes. WHen we moved in December, we had less storage options so we had to decide what to do with the boxes. I was all for chucking them out willy-nilly, hubby took a more conservative approach and wanted to open them. We did it his way and found our missing marriage cert, bith certs and uni qualification certs that we thought had been lost in the move *ahem*.

    Open the boxes, but be very stern and throw out ANYTHING that is not completely necesscary to have (like birth certificates!!!)

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    melissa April 15, 2009 at 9:33 am #

    i gave my first wedding gown to the salvation army. and i hope that whoever bought it looked beautiful and that her marriage didn’t meet the same fate as my first marriage did. i believe that wedding dresses and diamonds…from a broken marriage…are bad karma. and i wouldn’t pass either one down to my children.
    if you haven’t missed anything in those boxes…unless they are important documents or pictures…
    dump them. declutter!!

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    Andrea April 15, 2009 at 10:11 am #

    For the box – go through it one more time and send it off to goodwill.

    As for the dress…EBAY…or Craigs List…definitely!!

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    Aimee April 15, 2009 at 10:25 am #

    I would go through the box one more time. Chances are that if it’s been sitting there since you moved in, you’ll end up ditching it all — but I’d still check one last time, just to be sure.

    As for the dress? Yeah, I think I’d probably check with Chickie and see if she thinks she might want it someday. If not, then I vote for Ebay and buying something fun with the proceeds.

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    Lori in MN April 15, 2009 at 1:30 pm #

    I’d kinda like to see what Dad thinks!
    p.s. 10+ years, unopened boxes in every closet…

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    Laura April 15, 2009 at 3:24 pm #

    Last week my hubby & son went on Spring Break. Stuff that they couldn’t live without disappeared while they were gone. The stuff went to a home where it will be used. They haven’t missed any of it yet. :)

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    Kim April 15, 2009 at 4:55 pm #

    Toss it. Sooner, rather than later. It was your wedding, it is your dress, it is your life, and absolutely your decision. You don’t owe Chickadee any role in this.
    My parents were divorced, too, and honestly? Why on earth would I have wanted to wear or use anything that would give either of them mixed emotions when they saw it? I wore his mother’s wedding ring, and a bracelet from my late stepfather, and my own beautiful dress. Both parents were there, and both of them were united that day in happiness and pride.
    My brother and I are the mementos of that marriage. I don’t need anything else – my heirlooms are family pieces. My wedding dress is in my closet, but I’m giving myself the first five years for free before I decide what to do with it.

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    ImpostorMom April 20, 2009 at 12:46 pm #

    I know I’m late on this but I sold my wedding dress right after the honeymoon. I bought it online for $450 and sold it on ebay for $250. It was just a dress and not really even one I enjoyed wearing. (I HATE getting dressed up.)

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    stmbtblog April 20, 2009 at 7:16 pm #

    Here’s an idea. Keep the veil, sell the dress. Or, if you really need the money, get rid of everything!

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