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	<title>Comments on: Love&#8217;s memory</title>
	<atom:link href="http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/</link>
	<description>&#34;Maybe all we can hope to do is end up with the right regrets.&#34;</description>
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		<title>By: Rori Raye</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107671</link>
		<dc:creator>Rori Raye</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:42:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107671</guid>
		<description>Such a true and thoughtful post, thank you.  The ups and downs, the chaos of it all. My daughter is 20 now, and not only do I remember every moment where I wasn&#039;t &quot;perfect&quot; - I let moments go by right now that could go in the &quot;incredible&quot; jar and instead hang onto the &quot;awful&quot; ones where our mother/daughter connection seems gone, she looks at me like I&#039;m dense, and I question myself one more time. I&#039;ve learned to embrace chaos, not sweat the small stuff, and stay focused in the present moment - but my memory of when she was small and how she was the focus of my life instead of how it is now, with me the reluctant focus of my life, can feel overwhelming. Thank you for bringing it all back - and you sound absolutely easy and wonderful. Look forward to more posts.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Such a true and thoughtful post, thank you.  The ups and downs, the chaos of it all. My daughter is 20 now, and not only do I remember every moment where I wasn&#8217;t &#8220;perfect&#8221; &#8211; I let moments go by right now that could go in the &#8220;incredible&#8221; jar and instead hang onto the &#8220;awful&#8221; ones where our mother/daughter connection seems gone, she looks at me like I&#8217;m dense, and I question myself one more time. I&#8217;ve learned to embrace chaos, not sweat the small stuff, and stay focused in the present moment &#8211; but my memory of when she was small and how she was the focus of my life instead of how it is now, with me the reluctant focus of my life, can feel overwhelming. Thank you for bringing it all back &#8211; and you sound absolutely easy and wonderful. Look forward to more posts.</p>
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		<title>By: Annie</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107573</link>
		<dc:creator>Annie</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:52:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107573</guid>
		<description>Isn&#039;t the plural of Lego...Legi?</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Isn&#8217;t the plural of Lego&#8230;Legi?</p>
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		<title>By: Katie in MA</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107572</link>
		<dc:creator>Katie in MA</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Aug 2008 13:15:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107572</guid>
		<description>Thanks, Mir - your post was very timely. Gracie and I are having, actually, a pretty good week. But last night I lost it. Among everything else - daycare prices jumped $100/month, the house is a disaster, none of my projects got done this week - Gracie ripped her wound open AGAIN. This time it&#039;s gaping open. I&#039;m afraid that before this week is over, I&#039;ll trip over their toys, look down, and find an ear amongst them. So thanks for the reminder to appreciate the little things. But I haven&#039;t yet come to miss the nights without a tearful page to the on-call doctor!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thanks, Mir &#8211; your post was very timely. Gracie and I are having, actually, a pretty good week. But last night I lost it. Among everything else &#8211; daycare prices jumped $100/month, the house is a disaster, none of my projects got done this week &#8211; Gracie ripped her wound open AGAIN. This time it&#8217;s gaping open. I&#8217;m afraid that before this week is over, I&#8217;ll trip over their toys, look down, and find an ear amongst them. So thanks for the reminder to appreciate the little things. But I haven&#8217;t yet come to miss the nights without a tearful page to the on-call doctor!</p>
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		<title>By: Caroline in MA</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107571</link>
		<dc:creator>Caroline in MA</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:59:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107571</guid>
		<description>No fair...  danelle made me cry...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>No fair&#8230;  danelle made me cry&#8230;</p>
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		<title>By: danelle</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107569</link>
		<dc:creator>danelle</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 23:08:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107569</guid>
		<description>My kids are grown and gone and I miss them terribly.  The time really does fly and before you know it they are waving goodbye from the front seat of a uhaul.  It&#039;s hard to cherish every moment, especially when the days just seem to drag on and nobody ever listens, and everyone is bickering.  

I wanted to share this:

One of these days you&#039;ll explode and shout to the kids, &quot;Why don&#039;t you grow up and act your age?&quot;
...and they will.

OR:

&quot;You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do. And don&#039;t slam the door!&quot;
...and they don&#039;t.

You&#039;ll straighten up the boys&#039; bedroom neat and tidy -- bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you&#039;ll say out loud, &quot;Now I want it to stay this way.&#039;&#039;
...and it will.

You&#039;ll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn&#039;t been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you&#039;ll say, &quot;Now, there&#039;s a meal for company.&#039;&#039;
...and you&#039;ll eat it alone.

You&#039;ll say: &quot;I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do your hear?&#039;&#039;
...and you&#039;ll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghtetti.
No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms.
No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps.
No more clothespins under the sofa.
No more playpens to arrange a room around.
No more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent
No more sand on the sheets or Popeye movies in the bathrooms.
No more iron-on-patches, wet, knotted shoestrings, tight boots, or rubber bands for ponytails.
Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it.
No baby sitter for New Year&#039;s Eve.
Washing only once a week.
Seeing a steak that isn&#039;t ground.
Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap.
No PTA meetings.
No car pools.
No blaring radios.
No one washing her hair at 11 o&#039;clock at night.
Having your own roll of Scotch tape.
Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste.
No more sloppy oatmeal kisses.
No more tooth fairy.
No giggles in the dark.
No knees to heal, no responsibility.

Only a voice crying, &quot;Why don&#039;t you grow up?&#039;&#039; and the silence echoing,
&quot;I did.&quot;

..</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My kids are grown and gone and I miss them terribly.  The time really does fly and before you know it they are waving goodbye from the front seat of a uhaul.  It&#8217;s hard to cherish every moment, especially when the days just seem to drag on and nobody ever listens, and everyone is bickering.  </p>
<p>I wanted to share this:</p>
<p>One of these days you&#8217;ll explode and shout to the kids, &#8220;Why don&#8217;t you grow up and act your age?&#8221;<br />
&#8230;and they will.</p>
<p>OR:</p>
<p>&#8220;You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do. And don&#8217;t slam the door!&#8221;<br />
&#8230;and they don&#8217;t.</p>
<p>You&#8217;ll straighten up the boys&#8217; bedroom neat and tidy &#8212; bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you&#8217;ll say out loud, &#8220;Now I want it to stay this way.&#8221;<br />
&#8230;and it will.</p>
<p>You&#8217;ll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn&#8217;t been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you&#8217;ll say, &#8220;Now, there&#8217;s a meal for company.&#8221;<br />
&#8230;and you&#8217;ll eat it alone.</p>
<p>You&#8217;ll say: &#8220;I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do your hear?&#8221;<br />
&#8230;and you&#8217;ll have it.</p>
<p>No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghtetti.<br />
No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms.<br />
No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps.<br />
No more clothespins under the sofa.<br />
No more playpens to arrange a room around.<br />
No more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent<br />
No more sand on the sheets or Popeye movies in the bathrooms.<br />
No more iron-on-patches, wet, knotted shoestrings, tight boots, or rubber bands for ponytails.<br />
Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it.<br />
No baby sitter for New Year&#8217;s Eve.<br />
Washing only once a week.<br />
Seeing a steak that isn&#8217;t ground.<br />
Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap.<br />
No PTA meetings.<br />
No car pools.<br />
No blaring radios.<br />
No one washing her hair at 11 o&#8217;clock at night.<br />
Having your own roll of Scotch tape.<br />
Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste.<br />
No more sloppy oatmeal kisses.<br />
No more tooth fairy.<br />
No giggles in the dark.<br />
No knees to heal, no responsibility.</p>
<p>Only a voice crying, &#8220;Why don&#8217;t you grow up?&#8221; and the silence echoing,<br />
&#8220;I did.&#8221;</p>
<p>..</p>
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		<title>By: ChristieNY</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107568</link>
		<dc:creator>ChristieNY</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:58:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107568</guid>
		<description>Oh yes.  Parenting is hard.  I can commiserate my dear.  I&#039;m knee deep in emotional and physical stress weaning my youngest from breastfeeding.  It has not been an easy week, and the older one is not making it any easier on us.

Hang in there sweetie, this too shall pass and the memories will be lovely.  I hope.  ;)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Oh yes.  Parenting is hard.  I can commiserate my dear.  I&#8217;m knee deep in emotional and physical stress weaning my youngest from breastfeeding.  It has not been an easy week, and the older one is not making it any easier on us.</p>
<p>Hang in there sweetie, this too shall pass and the memories will be lovely.  I hope.  ;)</p>
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		<title>By: Kathy</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107567</link>
		<dc:creator>Kathy</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:50:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107567</guid>
		<description>Oh my goodness. You just described how I feel today . . . and so eloquently.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Oh my goodness. You just described how I feel today . . . and so eloquently.</p>
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		<title>By: Daisy</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107565</link>
		<dc:creator>Daisy</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:02:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107565</guid>
		<description>I love how Monkey&#039;s &quot;friends&quot; watch him practice. I hope they enjoy his tunes!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I love how Monkey&#8217;s &#8220;friends&#8221; watch him practice. I hope they enjoy his tunes!</p>
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		<title>By: Flea</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107564</link>
		<dc:creator>Flea</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:15:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107564</guid>
		<description>What great piano companions. :)

Unfortunately, the kids will remember all of the bickering and junk. Their selective memories and ours differ in the most amazing ways.

My youngest and I have been at each other&#039;s throats all week. It took me a few days to figure it out, but he&#039;s ADHD, right? And medicated. And he works so hard at school all day to be good, listen, learn and cooperate. By the time he gets home, he&#039;s given it all he&#039;s got, cap&#039;n. And he falls apart. I just couldn&#039;t figure out why he went from good kid to basket case once school started. Maybe a nap would help. Yeah. I think I&#039;ll go take one now ...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>What great piano companions. :)</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the kids will remember all of the bickering and junk. Their selective memories and ours differ in the most amazing ways.</p>
<p>My youngest and I have been at each other&#8217;s throats all week. It took me a few days to figure it out, but he&#8217;s ADHD, right? And medicated. And he works so hard at school all day to be good, listen, learn and cooperate. By the time he gets home, he&#8217;s given it all he&#8217;s got, cap&#8217;n. And he falls apart. I just couldn&#8217;t figure out why he went from good kid to basket case once school started. Maybe a nap would help. Yeah. I think I&#8217;ll go take one now &#8230;</p>
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		<title>By: Sharon</title>
		<link>http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107562</link>
		<dc:creator>Sharon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 20:05:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/08/28/loves-memory/#comment-107562</guid>
		<description>Like you, I was there with my kids the whole way.  I knew to pay attention as time was passing, that their childhoods wouldn&#039;t last forever. With all the joys and frustrations, I loved having kids and I loved having them around when they were kids.  I do not, nor have I ever, missed the messes, the noise, or the drama.  Soak it all in now, and then you won&#039;t have to miss it later.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Like you, I was there with my kids the whole way.  I knew to pay attention as time was passing, that their childhoods wouldn&#8217;t last forever. With all the joys and frustrations, I loved having kids and I loved having them around when they were kids.  I do not, nor have I ever, missed the messes, the noise, or the drama.  Soak it all in now, and then you won&#8217;t have to miss it later.</p>
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