Comments on: The sounds only he can hear http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/ "Maybe all we can hope to do is end up with the right regrets." Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:04:02 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Moggymania http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-101174 Moggymania Fri, 11 Apr 2008 22:42:59 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-101174 I haven't read your blog before, so I have no idea what I might suggest (as an autie with massive sensory sensitivity) that could help him... All I could keep thinking was "does he have a room he goes to alone, that isn't intruded on by the racket of everyone else, where he can wind down?" If he doesn't, well, that might be part of the answer... It's not so much that we're not as good at reducing that sensory pitcher -- it's that most of us don't get to have access to an environment (like a quiet, cool, gently-lit room to retreat to) that doesn't add to it. Think of it like having a hangover/migraine while sleep-deprived, and having a birthday party later on you'll really enjoy. It's not that you aren't good at reducing your "pitcher", but rather that your surroundings are too bright/noisy/quick-moving/etc. for you to just sit back anywhere random and relax. You have to go somewhere that isn't overloading -- for most people (as far as I've heard) this means going to a quiet, cool, gently-lit room. A while in there, even though everything is still intense, your pitcher is low enough that it's not problematic & you can enjoy your party. I haven't had that kind of environment the last few years, because I forgot what it entails -- I only realized day-before-yesterday that my room is exposed to a LOT more noise & light than my the workroom I used to spend time in. It's also been the last few years that I've been extra prone to meltdowns. (Tantrums are things people/kids do in order to manipulate others into giving them what they want... Meltdowns are an involuntary fight-or-flight state where we're near-mindlessly trying to escape the things that are overloading us.) In case you haven't read it before, Frank Klein has the best description of sensory overload & how to manage it that I've ever seen... His site is down, but I found it on the Web Archive: <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20070204093536/home.att.net/~ascaris1/overload.html" rel="nofollow">Sensory Overload Explained (What It's Like For Me)</a>. I haven’t read your blog before, so I have no idea what I might suggest (as an autie with massive sensory sensitivity) that could help him… All I could keep thinking was “does he have a room he goes to alone, that isn’t intruded on by the racket of everyone else, where he can wind down?” If he doesn’t, well, that might be part of the answer… It’s not so much that we’re not as good at reducing that sensory pitcher — it’s that most of us don’t get to have access to an environment (like a quiet, cool, gently-lit room to retreat to) that doesn’t add to it.

Think of it like having a hangover/migraine while sleep-deprived, and having a birthday party later on you’ll really enjoy. It’s not that you aren’t good at reducing your “pitcher”, but rather that your surroundings are too bright/noisy/quick-moving/etc. for you to just sit back anywhere random and relax. You have to go somewhere that isn’t overloading — for most people (as far as I’ve heard) this means going to a quiet, cool, gently-lit room. A while in there, even though everything is still intense, your pitcher is low enough that it’s not problematic & you can enjoy your party.

I haven’t had that kind of environment the last few years, because I forgot what it entails — I only realized day-before-yesterday that my room is exposed to a LOT more noise & light than my the workroom I used to spend time in. It’s also been the last few years that I’ve been extra prone to meltdowns. (Tantrums are things people/kids do in order to manipulate others into giving them what they want… Meltdowns are an involuntary fight-or-flight state where we’re near-mindlessly trying to escape the things that are overloading us.)

In case you haven’t read it before, Frank Klein has the best description of sensory overload & how to manage it that I’ve ever seen… His site is down, but I found it on the Web Archive: Sensory Overload Explained (What It’s Like For Me).

]]> By: jen http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100849 jen Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:49:35 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100849 Belated hugs all around. Belated hugs all around.

]]> By: Becki http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100821 Becki Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:42:04 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100821 My boy is almost nine and has something autism spectrumish. We've been trying to figure it out for six years and none of the labels seems to fit perfectly. So we're just trying to figure out what his needs are and to meet them. The pitcher analogy makes so much sense to me. Next time I am getting frustrated at his inability to handle a situation I think he should, I will remember and try to help him "pour off." Thank you. My boy is almost nine and has something autism spectrumish. We’ve been trying to figure it out for six years and none of the labels seems to fit perfectly. So we’re just trying to figure out what his needs are and to meet them. The pitcher analogy makes so much sense to me. Next time I am getting frustrated at his inability to handle a situation I think he should, I will remember and try to help him “pour off.” Thank you.

]]> By: Clara http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100674 Clara Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:52:13 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100674 crying for you all. crying for you all.

]]> By: Shash http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100640 Shash Sun, 30 Mar 2008 23:29:50 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100640 What I love about this post is that Monkey was able to articulate what was wrong and you instantly understood him. When it truly mattered, you didn't miss it. You are awesome, and I thought of you as I drove through Atlanta yesterday. Shash What I love about this post is that Monkey was able to articulate what was wrong and you instantly understood him.

When it truly mattered, you didn’t miss it.

You are awesome, and I thought of you as I drove through Atlanta yesterday.

Shash

]]> By: Shannon http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100617 Shannon Sat, 29 Mar 2008 04:59:16 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100617 Oh sweetie I am so sorry for you and Monkey. It really is hard. Although I am "self diagnosed" I know what he is going through. I didn't understand until I was an adult why I would get angry at people who were making noise. It still drives me nuts if I don't limit it. The great news is that you are aware of his needs and helping him get through this. Oh sweetie I am so sorry for you and Monkey. It really is hard. Although I am “self diagnosed” I know what he is going through. I didn’t understand until I was an adult why I would get angry at people who were making noise. It still drives me nuts if I don’t limit it.

The great news is that you are aware of his needs and helping him get through this.

]]> By: Kerri Anne http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100613 Kerri Anne Sat, 29 Mar 2008 00:48:11 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100613 Ditto all of the hug and love-sending sentiments. xo Ditto all of the hug and love-sending sentiments. xo

]]> By: Beth http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100601 Beth Fri, 28 Mar 2008 19:31:57 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100601 How about making a shirt for Monkey to wear to/from soccer games that says something like "My sensory input goes up to 11" Or something suitably Spinal Tap-ish and worded more funnily? Hang in there, Mir and family -- we're all out here rooting for you! How about making a shirt for Monkey to wear to/from soccer games that says something like “My sensory input goes up to 11″ Or something suitably Spinal Tap-ish and worded more funnily?

Hang in there, Mir and family — we’re all out here rooting for you!

]]> By: Kathryn http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100543 Kathryn Fri, 28 Mar 2008 00:59:37 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100543 It is so so encouraging to all of us other parents out here with kids like Monkey to hear these sorts of stories. My heart goes out to your entire family. My son is 4 1/2 and has SPD. As a matter of fact, he just started soccer and the first session, I laughed because he's such a goof for the first half and then had to fight back the tears the whole second half as I saw how different he was from all the other kids. It can be such an isolating experience. So, in those times, when we're just trying to keep it together, let's never forget that we are not alone. Many hugs to you! It is so so encouraging to all of us other parents out here with kids like Monkey to hear these sorts of stories. My heart goes out to your entire family. My son is 4 1/2 and has SPD. As a matter of fact, he just started soccer and the first session, I laughed because he’s such a goof for the first half and then had to fight back the tears the whole second half as I saw how different he was from all the other kids. It can be such an isolating experience. So, in those times, when we’re just trying to keep it together, let’s never forget that we are not alone. Many hugs to you!

]]> By: Kris http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100542 Kris Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:53:45 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2008/03/22/the-sounds-only-he-can-hear/#comment-100542 Oh Mir, I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face for both you and Monkey because I so totally know what you're going through. ((HUGS)) Oh Mir, I’m sitting here with tears rolling down my face for both you and Monkey because I so totally know what you’re going through.

((HUGS))

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