Comments on: More on being an asshole http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/ "Maybe all we can hope to do is end up with the right regrets." Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:22:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: dorothy http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92539 dorothy Fri, 24 Aug 2007 02:41:33 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92539 Fighting is communicating. A wise friend once told me that. I'm glad you and Otto are communicating well. It's a good sign. (hug) Fighting is communicating. A wise friend once told me that. I’m glad you and Otto are communicating well. It’s a good sign.

(hug)

]]> By: Jenifer http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92490 Jenifer Thu, 23 Aug 2007 01:26:12 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92490 Well, if not Meat Tenderizer, maybe Bacon Salt?? Well, if not Meat Tenderizer, maybe Bacon Salt??

]]> By: cardiogirl http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92440 cardiogirl Wed, 22 Aug 2007 10:11:45 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92440 I agree with Chris, I thought the post was funny. Period. p.s. Found you ad Blogherads. Enjoyed the ride (no pun intended). I agree with Chris, I thought the post was funny. Period.

p.s. Found you ad Blogherads. Enjoyed the ride (no pun intended).

]]> By: Chris http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92438 Chris Wed, 22 Aug 2007 04:38:24 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92438 Coming out of lurkdom just to say I read your first post and laughed. I never thought, "Boy, a free car and she's complaining and whining because it's not a BMW. What a pain she must be in real life." I think it's great that you apologized to them, though, simply because it's the loving and gracious thing to do if one inadvertently hurts someone's feelings. I can't imagine you doing anything less. Coming out of lurkdom just to say I read your first post and laughed. I never thought, “Boy, a free car and she’s complaining and whining because it’s not a BMW. What a pain she must be in real life.”

I think it’s great that you apologized to them, though, simply because it’s the loving and gracious thing to do if one inadvertently hurts someone’s feelings. I can’t imagine you doing anything less.

]]> By: Stephanie Chance http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92411 Stephanie Chance Tue, 21 Aug 2007 15:11:06 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92411 They should have a little more empathy, what with you changing your whole life and all, which has been a tad bit frustrating to say the least, and all of that because you love their son and brother so much. And you should be more forgiving of yourself. We are all going to suffer lapses of judgment, and no matter how empathetic you are to everyone's feelings most of the time, sometimes you just want to think about you. I don't think that's too much to ask. Hang in there! You're doing great! They should have a little more empathy, what with you changing your whole life and all, which has been a tad bit frustrating to say the least, and all of that because you love their son and brother so much. And you should be more forgiving of yourself. We are all going to suffer lapses of judgment, and no matter how empathetic you are to everyone’s feelings most of the time, sometimes you just want to think about you. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Hang in there! You’re doing great!

]]> By: Lisa http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92408 Lisa Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:58:16 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92408 Coming out of lurkerdom to ummm play a little perhaps devil's advocate. Mir - I know you're a writer and a great one at that, but in your present situation it may not be beneficial for your new marriage to share with the whole blog world delicate matters such as these. I'm thinking If I were in Otto's or the in-laws shoes right now I might be feeling a bit ganged up on - on top of the already bruised feelings. It's obvious the blog world loves you. Although you may not be posting such matter to gain support behind your position - the count is now about what 80 against 4? Just something to think about. Having said that I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't have because I love reading about ALL your antics - the good, the bad and the ugly! Anyway, just saying... Coming out of lurkerdom to ummm play a little perhaps devil’s advocate. Mir – I know you’re a writer and a great one at that, but in your present situation it may not be beneficial for your new marriage to share with the whole blog world delicate matters such as these. I’m thinking If I were in Otto’s or the in-laws shoes right now I might be feeling a bit ganged up on – on top of the already bruised feelings. It’s obvious the blog world loves you. Although you may not be posting such matter to gain support behind your position – the count is now about what 80 against 4? Just something to think about.

Having said that I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have because I love reading about ALL your antics – the good, the bad and the ugly!

Anyway, just saying…

]]> By: Sophie http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92404 Sophie Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:18:15 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92404 You might feel like an asshole, but you aren't. 73 of us are sure. In-laws, you say? Baggage, you say? My blood pressure goes up just reading those words. I told my husband from the beginning that I had lots of baggage from my first marriage. I failed to scare him away, but I sometimes have to remind him of the large baggage from my first marriage -- not the least of which involves the ex-in-laws. Good luck; the first year of marriage is always tough. I should know; I've done it twice! You might feel like an asshole, but you aren’t. 73 of us are sure.

In-laws, you say? Baggage, you say? My blood pressure goes up just reading those words. I told my husband from the beginning that I had lots of baggage from my first marriage. I failed to scare him away, but I sometimes have to remind him of the large baggage from my first marriage — not the least of which involves the ex-in-laws.

Good luck; the first year of marriage is always tough. I should know; I’ve done it twice!

]]> By: Brigitte http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92403 Brigitte Tue, 21 Aug 2007 12:43:14 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92403 How people take a written message (or even a verbal one) sometimes depends what mood they're in as well. I never saw your entry as ungrateful, but maybe whoever saw it first was in a down mood already and read it wrong. I sometimes think of those "Biorhythm" things from the 70's, sometimes my husband and I are completely in sync and don't even have to finish our sentences, other days he's reading a "tone" into everything I say and having total spaz attacks about who knows what, and I have no idea what he's talking about. And this is after 15 years of marriage! And maybe it's a guy-thing to take your wife's unhappiness personally. I'm just depressive in general, and it often has no bearing on any outside factors, and the hubby gets defensive and wants to know what he should do to make me happy. I reassure him that I could win the Powerball, have everything I want, have everyone in perfect health, etc., and I'd still find things to complain about, that's just me! How people take a written message (or even a verbal one) sometimes depends what mood they’re in as well. I never saw your entry as ungrateful, but maybe whoever saw it first was in a down mood already and read it wrong.

I sometimes think of those “Biorhythm” things from the 70′s, sometimes my husband and I are completely in sync and don’t even have to finish our sentences, other days he’s reading a “tone” into everything I say and having total spaz attacks about who knows what, and I have no idea what he’s talking about. And this is after 15 years of marriage!

And maybe it’s a guy-thing to take your wife’s unhappiness personally. I’m just depressive in general, and it often has no bearing on any outside factors, and the hubby gets defensive and wants to know what he should do to make me happy. I reassure him that I could win the Powerball, have everything I want, have everyone in perfect health, etc., and I’d still find things to complain about, that’s just me!

]]> By: tori http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92402 tori Tue, 21 Aug 2007 12:34:04 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92402 When I read what you wrote, I took it as sarcasm, exaggeration and humor. But maybe I am just an asshole too. Everything I write is true, and I'm sure everything you write is true, but spinning a story out of it to make it interesting to read sometimes requires some work, right? Cheer up Mir! This will be ok! You are not an asshole at all from what I know of you! When I read what you wrote, I took it as sarcasm, exaggeration and humor. But maybe I am just an asshole too. Everything I write is true, and I’m sure everything you write is true, but spinning a story out of it to make it interesting to read sometimes requires some work, right? Cheer up Mir! This will be ok! You are not an asshole at all from what I know of you!

]]> By: MomCat http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92401 MomCat Tue, 21 Aug 2007 11:18:54 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2007/08/20/more-on-being-an-asshole/#comment-92401 I loved your post, Mir. I also thought it was funny, not ungrateful. My sister-in-law has always taken everything I say and do the wrong way and assumed I meant to be hurtful, so I know those cringe-able moments well. It took me years to figure out that I'm not an asshole - she's got a self-esteem problem. I loved your post, Mir. I also thought it was funny, not ungrateful.

My sister-in-law has always taken everything I say and do the wrong way and assumed I meant to be hurtful, so I know those cringe-able moments well. It took me years to figure out that I’m not an asshole – she’s got a self-esteem problem.

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