I should get married more often

Sure, there’s the small matter of how I don’t even get to LIVE with my HUSBAND just yet, but still. The perks are amazing. Why, I just checked and the last three posts got a zillion more comments than usual. And my goodness, what comments they are! My swelled head barely fits through the doorway anymore, and tomorrow I shall sit and cry when this post doesn’t get over a hundred comments telling me how pretty I am. Heh.

Also, today I got a spammy “I love your website and want you to promote mine” email from someone who—in all seriousness, I think—addressed me as “Mrs. Otto.” That made me giggle for a long time.

Though I laughed harder when I found out someone addressed Otto as “Mr. Mir” today, too.

So what can I tell you about the little speed honeymoon we took? We headed north and stayed on an adorable little farm in the country. I highly recommend this approach if you’re hoping to be deafened by the lullaby of twelve million peepers all night long. It’s actually very soothing, provided that you don’t think too hard about what a good horror movie it would make for a couple of vacationing newlyweds to be eaten alive by tiny frogs.

We stayed in a teeny, tiny adorable little cabin. It had interesting rustic furniture and decorations (“Moose Crossing” signs and more art based on sheep than might be strictly necessary), as well as a bathroom smaller than my purse. It was lovely, actually, because it was a tiny cabin in the middle of nowhere BUT the people who own it fed us breakfast every morning. So, you get that whole wilderness vibe along with magically appearing french toast and sausage.

Anyway, we got up there on Friday night, quite late, and checked in and got our key and walked along a wooden walkway where my little heels kept slipping between the slats and I envisioned a graceful faceplant with every step. (I did not wipe out, but I nearly lost a shoe.) We then checked out every facet of the cabin and giggled over our rings (“Hey! Nice ring!”) and then flopped down on the beautiful wrought iron bed.

I think Otto read that the cabins where we were staying in had originally been built in the 1880s, and I suspect the beds were installed at around that time. Look, I know that I’ve been completely spoiled by my new bed and all, but when two people can lay side-by-side on the same bed and one of those people appears to be a full foot closer to the floor than the other, you do have to wonder if PERHAPS it’s time to get a slightly more supportive mattress.

No matter. LOOOOOOVE would provide everything we needed!

The first morning Otto asked me how I slept. “Oh, you know,” I hedged. “I woke up a few times. You?”

“Tossed and turned a bunch,” he said. At which point we realized we were free to compare notes on how uncomfortable the bed was. Phew. (The second night, I lovingly coughed for several hours in a row so that neither of us would blame the bed for our sleepless night. I’m a giver.)

We went and had breakfast (which was delicious) in a sunroom overlooking the farm. We ate while watching swallows dive-bomb each other and a variety of other birds flit from the trees to the dozens of birdhouses installed around the property. Inspired by this display of nature, we headed out to walk around after we ate.

There were all of the usual creatures; in addition to the myriad birds, the pond held about a billion tadpoles, and the insect life was plentiful. We were looking for turtles, but didn’t see any. What we did see was a VERY large snake sunning itself on the small dock. It lay in a luxurious coil, and we didn’t even notice it at first. Once we did, though, I wanted to run away from the pond, because I sort of hate snakes. (No, that’s not quite right. I love snakes. When there’s something between me and them, like nice thick glass.) While I was twitching with a need to go elsewhere, Otto noticed a SECOND snake sort of draped amongst a busted-up section of the dock, and then I died.

It was then that I convinced him to move away and look for, um, other stuff! Away from the snakes!

Later that day we went driving around, exploring the mountains. That’s a really fun thing to do, except that if your head is really stuffy it will make your ears pop a lot and your husband (hee, husband!) will keep glancing at you sideways as if you have a nervous tic. Then you will realize that you are yawning and attempting to pop your ears every other second or so, and probably look like an idiot.

Neither of us brought a book to read (I couldn’t even remember socks; you think I brought a book?) so we stopped at a local bookstore and picked out some reading material.

We ate a late lunch at a restaurant near a Motel, and enjoyed the great dichotomy that is vacationing in New England: Directly behind us sat a table of Old Massachusetts Money, while across from them three bikers enjoyed burgers and onion rings before taking off again on their Harleys. I have to say, the old money family provided much more entertainment. They talked for at least fifteen minutes about some restaurant that serves lobster macaroni and cheese and how amazing it is. Somehow this sparked a discussion between Otto and me about how, really, we need to be eating more beef jerky! And SPAM! (Do not ask me how that was a logical follow-on. It just was.)

Oh! I almost forgot; our server was a young man afflicted with the imprecision of speech common to teenagers. When we entered the restaurant he asked if we wanted to sit outside “or something like that.” We exchanged glances and said that yes, we’d like to sit outside. Little did we know that he would go on to offer to get us drinks “or something like that” and later an appetizer “or something like that.” We’d already determined that if offered the “something like that” alternative to a check, we’d go for the “something” and see what he might produce, but when the fateful moment came and he did, indeed, offer our check or something like that, all that happened was that we both started laughing and our poor server was confused. It was very anti-climactic.

Later we wandered through a sprawling gift shop, one of those tourist catch-alls featuring everything from beverages and candy bars to all manner of souvenirs. “We should buy something here,” I announced to Otto when we walked in.

“Ooooookay,” he said, ever agreeable.

“I mean for our house. We should buy something here, to commemorate the weekend, as our first joint purchase for the new house.”

“Ah,” he said.

We picked our way through all kinds of stuff and I spent a considerable chunk of time pawing through a display of polished rocks shaped like hearts. (There was a key to the properties of the various stones, and after much deliberating, I picked red goldstone with its energy-channeling properties for Chickadee, and picasso jasper—said to enhance patience—for Monkey.) I suggested a number of ridiculous, kitschy items (“How about a sign shaped like a chicken that says FRESH EGGS?”) for our big purchase, but in the end the choice was clear. We are now the proud owners of a distressed wooden sign that reads “Happily Ever After.”

(Go ahead—everyone together now—“Awwwwww!”)

Hey, it was between that and a similar sign that said “Primitive Dwelling.” I hope we picked right.

Back at the cabin, we read our books out on the porch for a while, and later on we watched a movie while curled up on the ancient bed.

Another night of terrible sleep later, and it was time to eat another yummy breakfast and then go home. Before we left, we checked the pond for turtles, again (after checking to make sure that our friends the snakes were nowhere in sight). I was ready to give up when Otto spotted a baby turtle burrowing in the mud. We watched until it came out again and paddled around in the water for a bit.

I want to tell you that I would’ve stayed there forever, happily, but the truth is that I believe in Providence, and as such I believe that crappy bed was someone’s way of making sure that it wouldn’t be TOO hard to leave when the time came. As much as I wish that Otto could’ve stayed longer, I’m delighted to be back in my own bed.

But I’m looking forward to having a place to hang up our new sign.

57 Comments

  1. julie

    As instructed:
    Awwwwww.

    And? You’re pretty.

    And? Sounds lovely. I’ve heard that if you go on vacation and the bed is better than yours it’s time to get a new bed. Sounds like the honeymoon was a lovely start and yet a nice reminder that real life is full of even better. Congrats again.

  2. Melissa

    Sounds wonderful. As long as you didn’t bring any of the snakey friends home with you.

    And: Mrs. Otto is so pretty!

  3. Patricia

    What a delightful, though short, honeymoon…at least the honeymoon will continue when you FINALLY get all moved to Georgia.

    Ok, but I got to ask now that you went on and married the boy, do we FINALLY get to know why you call him Otto??? I believe I remember a promise of that story at somepoint — and ahem, could your becoming the Mrs. Otto be it? (Though, frankly, I’m far more fond of Mr. Mir)

    Have you spent your day today changing your name?

  4. Melanie

    Awwww, it sounds lovely, Mrs Otto!

  5. Jessica G>

    How do you do it? I’ve only been reading your blog for a little while but seriously, how do you manage to make me laugh obnoxiously loud with each post? You are a fantastic writer (and you’re pretty, too).

    Love the new sign for the house! Excellent token from the honeymoon.

  6. Andi

    I’m with Patricia… I do recall a promise of explanation…

    Lest you not get your 100 posts… You’re pretty!

  7. ArizonaGirl

    No worries–you look pretty from where I’m sitting!

    And…

    Awwwwww!

    And I’m all about getting away from snakes, too! Glad it all went beautifully and you had fun.

  8. becky

    glad you all had a good time away. the sign sounds sweet. hope you two are together full-time SOON. i don’t think otto will forget how pretty you are, but why take that chance? :D

    hope you get a chance to post more pics. looking forward to seeing how pretty you were again.

  9. Lady M

    Pretty, pretty, Mir!

    Welcome back and congratulations!

    By the way, I’m sorry I missed your blog shower – I didn’t hear about it until today. I’ll make it up to you some how. ;)

  10. carrien

    Congrats. You’re pretty, and I hope you get to see Otto again soon.

  11. Katrina Stonoff

    Awwww!

    You’re more than pretty. You’re beautiful.

    And you’re even making all of us pretty because we have this soft, wistful look, just reading about all your love.

    So that makes you even prettier!

  12. Susanne

    Awwww.

    And today you look even better than yesterday. Also congratulations to you and Mr. Mir because I was too busy to comment the days before.

    Somehow I think you wouldn’t appreciate me publishing this comment a hundred times to get a hundred comments so that’s up to someone else.

  13. birchsprite

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    Pretty girl!

  14. Rachel May

    Welcome home… and congratulations again, pretty Mir and handsome Mr. Mir!

    My son goes to a playschool that is owned/run by “Mrs. Pam”, who also attends our church. Poor Mrs. Pam’s husband is known by ALL the kids from the playschool as “Mr. Pam”. True story! They all love him, so, see, Mr. Mir? It could be a good thing!

  15. Brigitte

    Yer puuuuurty!

    At least Otto hasn’t been called “Mr. Pretty One” . . . yet.

    Ah, rustic cabins and peepers and magic french toast, sounds like the life for me – so I guess it IS a good thhing they have those terrible mattresses to drive you off!

  16. Emily

    There is a full-on chorus happening …. aawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! And what a magical description. You have such an amazing way with words, and your honeymoon is now vivid in my mind. And I must say, having collected a few mementos from my honeymoon, I have no doubt you’re going to love love love your “Happily Ever After” sign. To a lifetime of happily ever after, pretty one!

  17. LadyBug Crossing

    Awww…
    LOL!! They always have crappy beds so that you leave…

  18. Sara

    Sounds like a delightful weekend. But then, I’m all for places that have magically appearing French toast and sausage.

  19. Christina

    AWWWWWWWWW!

  20. MomCat

    Awwwww…

    (Hey, you said…)

    Great hearing about the honeymoon! :D I loved the bit about the afflicted-speech teenager, too, as my proto-teen now says, “Ya know?” after every single sentence.

    (I really need the sign that says, “Primitive Dwelling.” Now I’m going to be surfing all day, seeking.)

  21. David

    Mr. Mir and Mrs. Otto,
    sittin’ in a tree,
    k-i-s-s-i-n-g. =)
    Sorry, I just couldn’t resist. Congratulations, you two, and welcome back.

    Also? Mmm…French toast!

  22. chris

    delighted to hear that the beginning of happily ever after has gone so swimmingly! best wishes every day along the way.

  23. Bob

    While this isn’t in the same league as having your matrimonial partner 1000 miles away, when we got married we were still in the AF and living in the dorms on base. Her room was directly over mine up one floor. She had a roommate, while I didn’t (which made for a good bit of illegal visitation) it was over a month before we found an apartment and our first “home”.

  24. Suebob

    You are so sweet to leave a comment for me when you have been so busy!

    Congratulations.

    I am glad your honeymoon was so short – you might not have survived any longer with no sleep!

  25. meritt

    I really DID say “awwwwwww” but then you ruined it by predicting that I was saing “awwwwwww” so then it was cut short because I couldn’t believe you took my “awwwwww” moment away from me!

    :)

    I think the fact that you found that sign was was cool. Even IF I said “awwwwww” when I read it.

  26. Melisa

    Awwwww! So sweet!

  27. Aubri

    Awwwww… Mir! It sounds like you had a completely delightful time… other than that cruddy bed! The sign sounds beautiful! I think it fits you two perfectly.

    You are absolutely fantastically gorgeous… just so you know. And I seem to remember a promise about explaining why Otto is known as Otto as well… maybe if enough of us comment on that, you’ll tell us the story! LoL!

    Much love Prettiest One!

  28. Avalon

    You are so very pretty Mir.

  29. Liz

    Oh, for the love of all things pretty, you’re beautiful, already. Mr. Mir, well, he’s just lucky ;o)

  30. Erin

    I have a tiny version of that same “Happily Ever After” sign and I just love it. It’s sitting next to a picture of me and my fiance and it makes me smile everytime I see it. He bought it for me after seeing me gush over it in a tiny shop in the Wisconsin Dells and surprised me with it when we got home, at which point I commenced crying. He’s very sweet, and so is Mr. Mir.

    I’m loving the wedding stories! Keep ’em coming!!!

  31. Stephanie

    Mrs. Otto, you are very pretty! And if in a few hours, there are not 100 posts here, I will just have to keep posting until there are. Don’t want to let you down.
    Your wilderness honeymoon reminded me of when hubby and I stayed in a cabin near the beach. There was a baby alligator in the water off the pier.
    Oh, and I had a teacher in high school who said, ‘or what have you,’ after every other sentence. Drove me freakin’ bonkers!
    Glad you had a great honeymoon!

  32. Aimee

    Awwwww! for you two. Ewwwww! for big snakes. Mmmmm! for magically appearing french toast and sausage. Ooooo! for how pretty you are.

  33. Deanna

    AWWWWW!

    What a wonderful honeymoon for pretty, pretty Mir and handsome Otto!

    I B&B’s and I agree with you that they make the beds uncomfortable on purpose so everyone that stays in one doesn’t open their very own down the road to live the dream. :-)

  34. jenn2

    “My husband (hee, husband!)” You crack me up, Mrs. Otto.

    And has anyone mentioned you are so very, very pretty?

  35. Azul

    Too. Much. Cuteness…

    Must. Close. Window…

    Oh yeah, and you’re very smart and pretty too! Wishing you all a Happily Ever After.

  36. jenn2

    Here’s another thing. I’m relatively sure I’ll have very bad nightmares about frogs eating me. You know how you feel about snakes? I feel the same about frogs, but the intensity is way higher. Weird, eh?

  37. Jamie Lee

    To the very pretty Mrs Otto – congrats on a successfully charming honeymoon – complete with rustic “comforts” and a full complement of wildlife friends. I can’t help but picture you as a modern Snow White – tripping carefully through the woodland glades with your handsome prince and singing sweetly as all the little songbirds add in harmonies.
    Welcome home.

  38. Elleoz

    What a sweet honeymoon. Reminds me a little of our adventures in Gatlinburg TN.

    P.S.~ You are very pretty :)

  39. Pamela

    Awww. And I didn’t comment yesterday about how lovely you look in your wedding photos, so I can be part of your today’s dose of compliments. Really lovely! Also, I loved your dress.

    Mmm. Magically appearing french toast and sausages. If only I could combine that with my own bed…

  40. HamIam

    Awww…Love the sign…and that it was the first joint purchase for your home together. And, because I didn’t comment on the other marriage posts – you in your dress = beautiful!!! And the flowers were gorgeous also, as were your children and new hubs :)

    Crackin’ up at Mr. Mir and Mrs. Otto. That’s like when we got married, everyone was just trying to get our minister to say “Heth and Seather” – but he did good and avoided that.

    Thank you also for your e-mail. I’ve been digesting it all week.
    ~Heather

  41. Ben

    Let me be the first to say it:

    Awwwwwwww…

    What, not first? Damn.

    Okay, then, you’re pretty. Wait, they covered that, too? Yay for magic french toast?

    Crap, I must start getting here earlier.

    Okay, advice from an old married guy: You sleep MUCH better (and care less about the bed) if you get busy consumating and all that.

    You know, now that you’re LEGAL and everything.

    *waves to Dad*

  42. Shining

    Awwwwww. Pictures, m’dear, when you hang that sign up at your new home would be most prudent.

    Mr. Mir? That made me laugh.

    Mrs. Otto, you’re still beautimous. Being a single mom does that…makes you more beautimous as time goes on…and I think Mrs. Otto is still beautiful, even three days after her honeymoon. On a creaky old bed. With snakes. *shudder* I think I’ll pass on the lobster mac n cheese.

  43. ChristieNY

    Dear Mrs. Otto & Mr. Mir (tee hee),

    Welcome home! What a beautiful way to start your new lives together surrounded by nature!

    May you swiftly transport your beautiful bed to a new home so you can hang your sign and enjoy one another happily ever after. ;)

    Love,
    Christie

  44. Martha

    Holy crap — I’ve got to keep up on my blog reading better! CONGRATULATIONS, Mir!

  45. Beth Reid

    I hope the laughing didn’t make you cough, o pretty one! It sounds like a lovely if too-short honeymoon (I’m glad you weren’t eaten alive by tiny frogs, what a sad end to the story that would have been)! Now I can start hoping for speedy reunion with your husband.

  46. Brigitte

    Yer puuuurty!

    And so is “Mr. Pretty One”.

  47. Sheila

    Reading material on your honeymoon: yeah, RIGHT!

    Sleep deprivation due to “uncomfortable bed”: OK, whatever you say.

    (wink wink, nudge nudge)

    Happily Ever After, to be sure. So happy for you!

  48. Heidi

    I’m still chuckling about Sheila’s comment yesterday: “And nary a stray boob in sight!” Heh!

    So happy for you.

  49. Jane

    Yeah, I’m with Ben, what’s all this ‘sleeping’ going on? ! Alone in a cabin with no children and you are speeping?

    The Happily Ever After is the perfect choice for the new house.

  50. ttulizzy

    Awwww!

  51. Judy.

    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…. Mrs. Otto… hurry up to Georgia!

    I’m glad y’all had fun… and can’t wait to see the perfect spot for your sign.

  52. Kristen

    pretty, pretty Mir.

  53. Amy-Go

    Awwwww…

    Ok, also a little nauseating. But in the best possible way!!

    Really, I’m so happy you’re so happy. Happy, pretty Mir! YAY!

  54. Dawn

    Awwwwwwwwww…

    And more of the pretty. Prettyprettypretty…

  55. Dawn

    need more pictures…..PLEASE…

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