April 8, 2007 | Haven't been hit by lightning yet!, What do I do all day?

Just in case you’re wondering: If you wait until Easter Day to check the supermarket for chocolate bunnies in a moment of caving (because, after all, there will be Easter baskets at Daddy’s this year, and you were FULLY PLANNING to skip the whole deal, but then a certain child with big hopeful eyes and a quivering lower lip informed you that SANTA comes to both houses, so SURELY the Easter Bunny will do the same!), you will find row upon row of empty shelves where the bunnies used to be.

Also, if you were wondering: The only Easter candy left which is orthodontia-approved is then a 5-pound sack of assorted chocolate temptations (peanut butter eggs, KitKats, malted milk eggs). But! It’s on sale! So it’s okay! But you will load up those baskets and still have way, way too much candy left over and calling to you later. (more…)

April 7, 2007 | Woohoo!

The very pretty Jackie nominated me for a whole slew of these Bloggers Choice awards, and I don’t really know what they are or if I should care, but here’s a handy link to go vote if you are so compelled. (I’m only linking the parenting category because, um, I’m lazy.)

I have a problem with trying to label things as “best” because my world is populated by endless shades of grey and I have a natural aversion to such absolutes, but in the absence of contests with easier-to-determine measures, I guess I’ll have to take what I can get.

There’s no “Most brutally honest about how much therapy her children require” category. Or “Most likely to blog about boob pus” category. Or even “Most verbose about things of no consequence at all” category. So this was the best I could do. (Get it? Best? Hello?)

April 5, 2007 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience", What do I do all day?

Gosh, I sure am going to miss New England. Spring here is absolutely gorgeous, you know. Why, just this morning I awoke to the sounds of birds singing… and then peeked out the window to behold this wondrous tableau. I can’t believe I’m giving up all of this just to move south where this never happens.

Of course, I’m also really going to miss losing electricity for hours at a time. And snow days. Nothing warms my heart like being without electricity and heat but having two bored children here with me.

Yep, I really must love Otto to leave all of this behind. How can sunshine and the ability to drive out of your driveway without opening the garage by hand and plowing through the snow compare to THIS JOY? Clearly, he has talents I cannot discuss here. It’s the only explanation. (more…)

April 4, 2007 | Growing, Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Ottomatic For the People

Tonight my children bounced off of one another and careened around the upstairs and generally behaved with good—if somewhat frenetic—cheer. When I flopped down onto my bed and asked if we would be reading tonight, Chickadee rushed to my side.

“No,” she said, putting her hand over our book (which was still sitting on my nightstand), “I don’t want to read tonight.”

“Really?” For my kids to say they don’t want to read is akin to declaring that they’re not in the mood for oxygen. It never happens. “Why don’t you want to read?”

“I would rather have some quality family time,” she replied, while I swallowed my tongue from the effort of not laughing. (more…)

April 3, 2007 | Retail Therapy, What do I do all day?

My levels of cheapskatery are legendary. It causes me pain to part with my money (”Ouch! My caution!”) and I would probably benefit from a 12-step program dedicated to admitting that I am powerless over my bank statements.

Barring any such program, do you know what’s the best way to get over your aversion to spending? That’s right! Getting married! Because anyone who tells you that getting married is about finding your one special someone and uniting with them in holy matrimony has NEVER GOTTEN MARRIED BEFORE. There’s no reason to do it UNLESS you’ve found that special someone, of course, but it’s really all about everything costing too much money. (more…)

April 2, 2007 | Retail Therapy, The Year of Living Changerously

I think I am officially All Better now. No longer sick! No longer so tired that just remaining upright makes me weep! It’s all good.

It’s as though I awoke from a fog, looked around, and declared OH MY GOD I’M GETTING MARRIED IN JUST OVER A MONTH OH HOLY HELL WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS? (Answer: It may have been my idea. Back when Otto and I got back together, and I was all about living in the moment, what with my “Do not even do this unless you mean it this time, I’m SERIOUS” schtick.)

So I’ve got about a month to put together a wedding. At least I’m not doing anything else while I do that. HAHAHAHAHA! Lord, I’m having flashbacks to when I planned my first wedding, while still in grad school. I thought that was hard. (more…)

April 1, 2007 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Matters of record, unrelated to what will follow:

The house is not yet sold.

I did mop the entire first floor this morning (with a fever, thankyouverymuch), so of course it appears that this afternoon’s showing no-showed.

The reason I did not volunteer the muffin recipe in the previous entry is because it involved a boxed mix. Hence my guilt resulting in from-scratch pizza later on. Now you know. (more…)