March 19, 2007 | What do I do all day?, The Year of Living Changerously

Would you like to buy a house? I know of a lovely one that happens to be RILLY RILLY CLEAN on the outside.

And on the inside, well. Um. Actually, it’s much cleaner on the inside than it’s been in a looooong time. I spent most of the weekend and half the night making it ready for listing photos and also so that people walking through will be able to visualize THEIR stuff in MY house rather than thinking things like “Wow, that is a really big stack of yogurt containers.”

Not that people wouldn’t be moved to buy my house on account of my children’s love of yogurt and my penchant for recycling, but just in case. (more…)

March 18, 2007 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience", Health is overrated

Friday I had my final meeting with the surgeon who did my breast biopsy last year. As much as I’ve been enjoying these every-six-months mammograms and subsequent check-ins with her, the time has come to say goodbye.

For one thing, it’s been a year and the boobs seem just fine. For another, I’m moving. (I know, you forgot, because I have only mentioned it every other sentence for the last four months or so.)

So I went in and had an appointment just like every other appointment I’ve had with her (don the paper shirt, get felt up, talk about how everything seems fine and we should keep monitoring but there’s nothing to worry about). And then I told her I’m moving and that I’d probably need to get a copy of my file, and she surprised me by saying that they could take care of that for me on my way out. (more…)

March 17, 2007 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I hope you’re spending the day… ummm… drinking green beer? Shamrock hunting? Getting some girl named Erin to take off her bra?

I have no idea. See, I’m not Irish. (Plus, I believe beer should be red.)

St. Patrick’s Day has never been much more than a blip on the radar for me, but I do vaguely recall the kids coming home from daycare or school saying that a leprechaun had come to their classroom and left treats. Isn’t that cute? I think that’s really cute. At least, I thought that was really cute as long as St. Patrick’s Day fell on a school day. (more…)

March 15, 2007 | Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

Once upon a time in a land not very far from here in a time more recent than you might think, there lived a damsel in distress.

No, she wasn’t locked in a tower or being held captive by a fire-breathing dragon or even being forced to clean houses in violation of her birthright.

She wasn’t wandering, lost, in the forest or turned into a ogre or trying to communicate after an evil sea witch had stolen her voice.

She was just in the regular sort of distress. (more…)

March 14, 2007 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Growing

In the last year and a half, I’ve managed to transform my hobby-and-occasional-gig into a sustainable career. Which, frankly, still amazes me. When we were down in Georgia a couple of weeks ago, someone asked me what I did and I answered, “I’m a writer” without batting an eyelash.

I had only a short period of time to bask in this accomplishment before the logical follow-on to triumph took over: Exhaustion. Freelancing is not for wimps. There are no paid vacations, no sick days, and it’s very easy to fall into a pattern of working all hours, every day of the week. And then? What initially felt SO GOOD starts to feel a little bit like the third circle of hell. (more…)

March 13, 2007 | My name is Grumplestiltskin

Maybe it’s just a coincidence that, well, everyone seems to have gone COMPLETELY INSANE since we changed the clocks, but I dunno. I think the cosmic balance has been upset. Or Mercury is in retrograde. Or there’s a monster on the wing of the plane. (Wait, not that last one, probably.)

Seriously, the last few days I’ve been having a difficult time for a variety of uninteresting reasons, and then I started looking around and realized that really, it’s fine, because everything and everyone else has gone haywire and by comparison it’s all good. (more…)

March 12, 2007 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony, Health is overrated

Today was one of those days where I spent the entire day really just wanting to sit down in the middle of the room and weep for a few hours. No particular reason. Well, a hundred particular reasons, but none any different than any other day. Today just happened to be the day that I’d had enough, and yet, ODDLY ENOUGH, the world did not halt so that I could have a break, a snack, and a tantrum. Go figure.

My fabulous shoes that I bought for a song to go with my wedding dress arrived today, and they are even more gorgeous in person than the online picture revealed. I unwrapped them and thought how lovely to have one thing go right today! Then I tried to put them on my feet and that was the end of that. (more…)

March 11, 2007 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony, The Year of Living Changerously

I have had about 1,001 things that need doing before summer, and this weekend, I knocked that list right down to around 995. Hooboy. We are rockin’, now. Look out, world!

Many of you have asked to see for a picture of my wedding dress and I am not trying to be coy, I am just… ummmm… I don’t know what I am. Superstitious? I don’t think we can call me superstitious when I’m getting married in a multicolored (including orange and fuchsia) cocktail dress, really. So that’s not it. Weird? Well, THAT’s hardly a debate; obviously I am weird. But that’s not the issue, I don’t think. I think it’s more like the baby names thing. You never tell people what you’re THINKING of naming your children, because SOMEONE will invariably say “Oh, I knew someone named Chickadee and she was a chronic nose-picker” or something, and then your love for that name will forever be tainted. But if you NAME your kid that, even the most boorish people can generally be counted upon not to say stupid stuff like that when faced with an actual human. So.

All of this is to say, I will post a picture after we get married, and then if you hate it, OH WELL. As a consolation, would you like to see my blurry kids? (more…)

March 10, 2007 | What do I do all day?

Are you missing anything that might be located up high? Or is there perhaps going to be a meteor shower tonight? No? Pity. I just finished painting my ceilings and may never be able to look down (or even just forward) again.

I’m getting old.

Also, I would like to decide that I’m one of those people who is far too regal and privileged to do menial tasks like painting ceilings. Then I could just avoid the whole thing with a sense of righteousness. As it is, I spent the entire time wondering why I hadn’t batted my eyelashes a little harder at Otto and gotten it done when he was last here.

Oh well. (more…)

March 8, 2007 | The Year of Living Changerously

I’m trying to get motivated to get my house ready to show. In a fit of misplaced optimism I emailed the folks with whom we have the contingent contract. Because maybe they sold their house and just forgot to tell me! And they would open my email and smack their foreheads and immediately mail back, “Mir! No, don’t worry about cleaning your house! We’re all set!”

Instead, I got back some mail that not only spoke of their frustration in still not having sold their house, it said something about how this is a “very unfortunate situation for all involved” and I had to go back and reread to make sure that no one had died. (I concluded that no one had, but that my buyers may be even more melodramatic than I am.)

So, it looks like I have to finish painting and, um, burn everything we own. (more…)