Comments on: Ruined for office life http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/ "Maybe all we can hope to do is end up with the right regrets." Fri, 10 Feb 2012 18:03:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Jenrigg http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15674 Jenrigg Fri, 06 Oct 2006 10:16:16 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15674 My, this one HAS struck a chord - how many comments??! I am a single mum and have always worked. I had a one hour+ commute each way when I lived in Paris and since moving to the UK. In Paris I was lucky, childcare was fantastic and I got financial help from the State. Here in the UK it was harder. She was older and could go to afterschool care, but I hated never feeling I could give 100% to either my daughter or my employer. I lost my job due to my having to leave on time(!) and took a huge pay cut to work for my local hospital instead. Over the years I have "lost" about £60,000 - which is HUGE - but the flexibility afforded by that job was priceless. Wish the ex-husband could realise what the word "sacrifice" means though... Don't beat yourself up. You're a great mum. No one is doing a "better job". We all think everyone else is, but they are just flying by the seat of their pants like the rest of us LOL My, this one HAS struck a chord – how many comments??! I am a single mum and have always worked. I had a one hour+ commute each way when I lived in Paris and since moving to the UK. In Paris I was lucky, childcare was fantastic and I got financial help from the State. Here in the UK it was harder. She was older and could go to afterschool care, but I hated never feeling I could give 100% to either my daughter or my employer. I lost my job due to my having to leave on time(!) and took a huge pay cut to work for my local hospital instead. Over the years I have “lost” about £60,000 – which is HUGE – but the flexibility afforded by that job was priceless. Wish the ex-husband could realise what the word “sacrifice” means though…

Don’t beat yourself up. You’re a great mum. No one is doing a “better job”. We all think everyone else is, but they are just flying by the seat of their pants like the rest of us LOL

]]> By: Suzanne http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15610 Suzanne Thu, 05 Oct 2006 13:28:05 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15610 I work from my home office, but must see clients on a regular basis. Toss in a Son with basketball, theatre rehearsal, homework, a daughter with ballet and tap, another son with tornado tendancies, my volunteering at the theatre and Demolay, Shriner and Masonic functions, dinners, doctors, exercise (ha ha ha ha ha) and a husband who couldn't find his pants if they were on his butt, and not wadded up on the floor. Humor is key. So is crack. I work from my home office, but must see clients on a regular basis. Toss in a Son with basketball, theatre rehearsal, homework, a daughter with ballet and tap, another son with tornado tendancies, my volunteering at the theatre and Demolay, Shriner and Masonic functions, dinners, doctors, exercise (ha ha ha ha ha) and a husband who couldn’t find his pants if they were on his butt, and not wadded up on the floor. Humor is key. So is crack.

]]> By: Lily http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15560 Lily Wed, 04 Oct 2006 18:52:46 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15560 Another single mom, working full-time outside the home. How do I do it? It basically boils down to this: I have to make a choice. There are days where I have to choose between being a good parent, or being a good employee. If I'm a good parent today then I stress about not being a decent employee and vice versa. Mostly, I get up every day and do what I can. There's only so much I can control in life and so I try to focus on that rather than beating myself up about something I have to do. I have to work, so no sense beating myself up about not being there for my son, or having him in day care, etc. I have to parent, so no sense beating myself up for leaving work early to pick up a sick child or take him to the doctor. The way I see it, if my boss has a problem with it I'd welcome her to submit any solutions she has in mind. So far, I haven't had to go that far. Not that I haven't wasted time imagining that conversation, should it ever happen. Another single mom, working full-time outside the home.

How do I do it?

It basically boils down to this: I have to make a choice. There are days where I have to choose between being a good parent, or being a good employee. If I’m a good parent today then I stress about not being a decent employee and vice versa.

Mostly, I get up every day and do what I can.

There’s only so much I can control in life and so I try to focus on that rather than beating myself up about something I have to do.

I have to work, so no sense beating myself up about not being there for my son, or having him in day care, etc.

I have to parent, so no sense beating myself up for leaving work early to pick up a sick child or take him to the doctor.

The way I see it, if my boss has a problem with it I’d welcome her to submit any solutions she has in mind. So far, I haven’t had to go that far. Not that I haven’t wasted time imagining that conversation, should it ever happen.

]]> By: traci http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15546 traci Wed, 04 Oct 2006 16:51:18 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15546 It must be in the air, because I was just thinking and blogging along a similiar line. There is just no way I can imagine returning to my long hours all important office job of years ago. Even if I'm a single mom with four kids who foresees a life ahead missing many dollar signs. :P I'm just going to "have" to make the work at home thing work. I honestly don't feel like I have another choice. And you're totally my inspiration - though I'm sure you had no idea because I've vowed to stop stalking, it just takes up too much time. Keep showing us how to do it your way. :) It must be in the air, because I was just thinking and blogging along a similiar line. There is just no way I can imagine returning to my long hours all important office job of years ago. Even if I’m a single mom with four kids who foresees a life ahead missing many dollar signs. :P I’m just going to “have” to make the work at home thing work. I honestly don’t feel like I have another choice. And you’re totally my inspiration – though I’m sure you had no idea because I’ve vowed to stop stalking, it just takes up too much time. Keep showing us how to do it your way. :)

]]> By: Kris http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15538 Kris Wed, 04 Oct 2006 14:29:55 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15538 I just don't clean house :) I just don’t clean house :)

]]> By: chris http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15536 chris Wed, 04 Oct 2006 14:14:18 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15536 you are not alone on so many fronts here. as the mother of multiple kids with allergy shiners i've been pierced with countless dirty looks. i worked in the outside world before children and freelanced for years thereafter. my return to the workforce after that was a time of pain and horror that i don't ever (!) want to revisit. keep fighting the good fight! you are not alone on so many fronts here. as the mother of multiple kids with allergy shiners i’ve been pierced with countless dirty looks. i worked in the outside world before children and freelanced for years thereafter. my return to the workforce after that was a time of pain and horror that i don’t ever (!) want to revisit. keep fighting the good fight!

]]> By: daysgoby http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15519 daysgoby Wed, 04 Oct 2006 03:24:18 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15519 I work through my lunch hour so I can leave early a lot. And I snag the last appointment of the day every chance I get. Still, it never feels like enough. I work through my lunch hour so I can leave early a lot. And I snag the last appointment of the day every chance I get.

Still, it never feels like enough.

]]> By: Daisy http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15518 Daisy Wed, 04 Oct 2006 03:13:07 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15518 What does it mean if the teacher has allergy shiners? Oops, that's not Monkey's teacher, that's me. I won't mind the first killing frost when it arrives. Until then, I'll keep saying, "You should've seen the other guy." What does it mean if the teacher has allergy shiners? Oops, that’s not Monkey’s teacher, that’s me. I won’t mind the first killing frost when it arrives. Until then, I’ll keep saying, “You should’ve seen the other guy.”

]]> By: Ei http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15517 Ei Wed, 04 Oct 2006 02:30:50 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15517 I work for extremely understanding people and take antidepressants right now. And I read blogs when no one's looking. My son had allergic shiners when I picked him up today too. I work for extremely understanding people and take antidepressants right now. And I read blogs when no one’s looking.

My son had allergic shiners when I picked him up today too.

]]> By: Lena http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15516 Lena Wed, 04 Oct 2006 02:05:58 +0000 http://wouldashoulda.com/2006/10/02/ruined-for-office-life/#comment-15516 I marvel at the fact that women such as yourself manage to be such kick ass mothers and writers and friends while doing it alone. Bravo Mir. And black circles? Uh, thanks teach. Does this mean I should stop giving him meth? What the heck? I marvel at the fact that women such as yourself manage to be such kick ass mothers and writers and friends while doing it alone. Bravo Mir.

And black circles? Uh, thanks teach. Does this mean I should stop giving him meth? What the heck?

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