April 20, 2006 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I used to be the kind of person who turned her nose up when a car was dirty or cluttered on the inside. Cars are not for accumulating fast food cups! Cars are sanctuaries! They should be clean and orderly and people should be able to get in and sit down without having to move a pile of trash to do so!

And then I had children. They, apparently, exploded in my car.

I’ve discussed before how my kids are weird little trash factories. Why does it still amaze me, the sheer volume of STUFF they leave in their wake?
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April 19, 2006 | Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

Wow, I learned a lot from that last post. Specifically, from your responses in the comments and some folks’ responses to me, off the blog, about it.

I learned that many of you share my loathing of popsicle sticks. This made me feel warm and fuzzy.

I learned that Karen does not want to hear about me sanding down my feet, and a single joke about topping a caesar salad will cause her to declare that she will never, ever eat any food which I prepare with alleged parmesan cheese.

I learned that Kira will retaliate against foot-grating discussion with a cruel declaration of “I’M CHEWING ON A POPSICLE STICK RIGHT NOW! Ooooh, SPLINTERS!”
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April 18, 2006 | Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

… tag me twice, and I start feeling guilty and actually succumb.

Of course, I’m incredibly late to the party. But now that you know six weird or interesting or bizarre or furry (okay; maybe not furry, but I was running out of adjectives) things about every other blogger out there, it’s time for me to step up. Wacky Mommy tagged me and then Holly tagged me and now I just wish I was more interesting.

*shuffling feet, clearing throat*
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April 17, 2006 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Just because Easter and associated hype and excitement and chocolate WEREN’T ENOUGH, we thought today, the next day, would be a good time to have Chickadee’s last day as a 7-year-old. Just for fun. Or maybe the calendar just sort of worked out this way. Whatever.

Also the child managed to lose a tooth this weekend, and decided to wait to give it to the tooth fairy until tonight.

It’s almost more excitement than I can handle. And tonight Chickadee admonished me to make sure I remember what she’s like at seven, because today is my last chance. She’s been referring to herself as eight for a couple of months now (and if you catch her at it, she admits “Well, ALMOST eight!”) so perhaps the transition doesn’t feel as startling to me. But yes, her last day of seven-ness. Let’s make sure it’s remembered.
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Detritus

Sorry for the lack of entry yesterday; Easter kicked my ass (in the best possible way, I promise) and I think I was in bed before 10.

I need to share a few things to get us all through this Monday….
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April 15, 2006 | Books

I caught Chickadee in a lie this evening; I gave her two more chances to recant–neither of which she took–and then when I revealed that I had evidence to the contrary, she dissolved into tears and demanded to know why I hate her. Having come to this interaction fresh out of trying to make her brother try on his Easter clothes (”Take your pants off and try these on. Take your pants off. TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF! Monkey, please PUT YOUR UNDERWEAR BACK ON.”), I did the logical thing.

I announced that as soon as they were in bed, I would be phoning the Easter Bunny to tell him to skip our house.
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April 14, 2006 | Forget talk; walk the walk!

Spring has sprung; I’m healthy again; my Rykas are broken in; I finally bought myself a knee brace. Training is now officially in full swing.

[Now would be a good time to go make a tax-deductible donation, but only if you 1) have boobs, 2) like boobs, or 3) love someone who has boobs.]

One of the things I hadn’t really thought through, when I signed up for this, was how much TIME it takes to train for an endurance event. It’s one thing to say “I’m going to exercise every day.” It’s quite another to undertake a regimen where, ideally, every workout is several hours long. I have no idea how people who work normal schedules could possible manage training.

The other thing I hadn’t realized was how much of my town I’d be seeing.
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April 13, 2006 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Would you like to come over to my house and take a shower, or flush a toilet? You totally can, now. My filter is unclogged and my tanks have been pumped. (That sounds so much more fun than what actually happened….) It cost $1 less than what I paid for yard clean-up. So, if I’d known yesterday that this was going to happen, when Yard Guy pulled up on his tractor I would’ve been all “Okay, if you can do the whole acre for a dollar, I’m in!”

But it’s not MY trauma (or, more accurately, my bank account’s trauma) that needs discussing.
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April 12, 2006 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

Wow, what a lot of good suggestions for my bit of “play” money in the previous post! I can tell that my readers are of an impeccable breed who really just want to help others. Help others get facials, massages, and pretty shoes, that is. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I had to chuckle over all of the iTunes suggestions. I don’t own an iPod. That was actually one of the things I was considering, although I worried about where I could set it down in my horse-drawn buggy. Anyway, it’s sort of a moot point, now.

[Here you must picture me sighing heavily, tossing a meaning-laden and sorrowful look in your general direction.]

What? Oh, right. I suppose you want to know why. Well, if you insist.
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April 11, 2006 | Retail Therapy

It’s all the fun of spending money without actually, you know, spending any of your money. What more could you want?

Two items for your consideration:

1) Although I’m still bitter that Grace didn’t make it past semi-finalist, you should go vote for the Swiffer Amazing Woman of the Year from amongst the finalists. The winner gets $5,000 for the charity of her choice, as well as fame, fortune, and a lot of Swiffer products. Go read about those ten amazing women and if you are not moved by their stories, check to see if you have a pulse.

2) The IRS has decided I am impoverished and should therefore get a pity refund. Naturally I am trying to act all tough and indifferent and “hey, dude, I totally wanted to eat all those ramen noodles” but on the inside I am doing a small watusi of glee. Necessity dictates that I shall be using the money for bills and groceries, mostly, but if I were to, say, set aside perhaps $100 of it for something unnecessary, what do you think I should spend it on?