December 20, 2005 | What do I do all day?

I have to update on my adventures with my chiroquactor (who called him that, in comments? I love that term, and have decided to hug it and squeeze it and call it George and use it always), but first I have to fill you in on the kids and the holidays and the BAKING. Oh my lord, the baking is taking over. I don’t know what is wrong with me.

Actually, I lie. I know exactly what’s wrong with me. I thought I was doing one thing for teacher gifts and then it turned out that even in trying to overestimate everyone we need to gift, there were more people than I’d planned for and my original idea was no longer doable because I didn’t have enough stuff to do it. Plus my original idea sucked. But now there’s only 2 more days of school before break and I refuse to shop at this point. REFUSE. So I went into the kitchen and the next thing I knew, it was carnage. Sticky, gooey, sweet-smelling carnage.

Be nice to me and I might even let you lick the beaters. (I lie, again. I already licked the beaters. Mmmmm… salmonella!)
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Uncategorized

Thanks for the eighty-two gazillion emails about the blog being broken. It’s better now.

December 19, 2005 | About

… including, apparently, participating in a meme. I’m thinking I’m really not looking forward to wrapping.

Sheyna tagged me with the Seven Sevens meme, and I’ve been trying to wash it off ever since. However, the bleach is starting to burn a bit, so I figured just doing it might be the best course of action.

(For those of you playing along at home in the “Chiropractor: Love or Hate?” game, updated tales of my progress in Whiplash Land will return tomorrow. Try to contain yourselves until then.)

Without further ado…
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December 18, 2005 | What do I do all day?

After not nearly enough practice, today was the day for my church choir to sing our Christmas cantata. Twice. Normally I go to the 10:30 service, but there’s also an early service. So today I had to be at church at 8:00. I’m sorry, let me say that again, slowly. I had to be. At church. At EIGHT O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING. On a Sunday. When I like to be sleeping.

So the good news is that I dragged myself out of bed and made it there on time. Barely. And the other good news is that most of the people who go to my church are old and mostly deaf, so the cantata was very well-received. (Hey, there was nothing wrong with the music that about three more weeks of rehearsal wouldn’t have cured.)

The bad news is… well… maybe you should go grab a snack, first….
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December 17, 2005 | Health is overrated

It’s been nearly two weeks since I totalled our beloved Sylvia, and by most accounts the memory is fading on schedule. I haven’t had a nightmare about the collision for three whole nights in a row! Monkey has stopped having nightmares and has sprouted fresh, pink baby-smooth skin to replace the scabby bits that dotted his forehead. Chickadee’s scar is hard to see unless the light is just right, and the bruising has disappeared entirely.

All is well! Right? Right! Well, mostly!

The thing is, my neck and back will get a little bit better and then get worse again. Or I’ll have a day where I think “Oh! All better now!” and then the next morning my neck will refuse to turn to the left. It’s becoming… annoying. Now, I’ve been taking my advil and my muscle relaxers and was sure the “whiplash: take it easy and ice as necessary” diagnosis made sense, but I kind of miss having a body that doesn’t hurt all the time. So. I decided it was time to get help.
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December 15, 2005 | Job? Huh?

I got to play grown-up today, the key word being “play” because it’s all an act. Sometimes I think I overestimate my awkwardness, or overstate how casually I tend to dress when I’m working at home and only going out to take the kids to school.

And then, I have a morning like today, when I put on my big girl clothes because I have a business meeting! I take the kids to school and every parent and teacher with whom I normally exchange a “good morning” or “cold today!” does a double take and asks me who died. By the third or fourth person, I’m seriously rethinking the theory that no one knows I’m still wearing my jammies if I’ve got my long coat on.

On the one hand, it’s great to hear a dozen “Wow, you look great today!”s before I go meet a client. On the other hand, it does tend to deflate one somewhat to realize that if EVERY SINGLE PERSON says that, it’s probably less about how nice I look TODAY and more about how CRAPPY I usually look.
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December 14, 2005 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

It was 7 degrees outside this morning when I took the kids to school. I still haven’t thawed.

Thus begins the official season of me spending the next 5 months huddled next to the heating vent, applying hand lotion in a crazed, obsessive manner. No matter how well I may manage to clean myself up during the winter, my chapped hands always give me away. People, there’s a REASON we’re all better off with me working from home.

Anyway. An entire day of running around in the freezing cold has left me totally devoid of cohesive thought. (Yes, that IS different than normal. Normally I have cohesive thoughts that are dumb, sure, but they do follow some sort of progression.)
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December 13, 2005 | What do I do all day?

You know what I don’t like about working for myself? Constantly having to peddle myself, working at all hours, no free office supplies, sometimes averaging somewhere around a dime an hour because I’m either slow or a perfectionist or a slow perfectionist… ummm… this is turning out to be sort of a long list. Nevermind.

You know what I LOVE about working for myself? No annoying bosses, meeting cool people, working on all sorts of different things, and finally getting to make a living doing what I love.

And! Sometimes, when I work it right, I can just… take a day off. In the middle of the week. Or, say, on a Tuesday. Wooooooooooooo!
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December 12, 2005 | What do I do all day?

Hello, and welcome to the new week! This week’s motto is “Can’t possibly be as bad as last week,” and so far it’s really living up to expectations!

Here’s a few ways you might be able to tell if it’s time to rejoin civilization:
1) The hampers are overflowing and the closets and dressers are empty;
2) The tree is half-trimmed and surrounded by boxes;
3) An earnest woman calls to ask if your child will be coming to her child’s birthday party, and you have to confess that you have a week’s worth of unopened mail and so you didn’t even realize there was an invitation;
4) The dishwasher is full of clean dishes and the sink is overflowing with dirty ones;
5) All of the above are true and you’re starting to even scare yourself a little.

So, uh, I was busy today. And almost sort of normal!
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December 11, 2005 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony

I am having a bit of difficulty getting into the holiday spirit right now. It’s not that I don’t want to, because I DO. I’m just finding it hard. I’m… too emotional. About everything. And so I’m either tearing up in awe and gratefulness that we’re actually all okay, or I’m beating myself up over my inability to just feel joy without it dredging up all of those less-than-joyful feelings that oftentimes follow.

Really the best I’ve been able to manage on my own is picking out and eating all of the peppermint bark squares in my Ghiradelli holiday assortment. I don’t know if it’s exactly filled me with the spirit of the season, but I’m full and my breath is minty.

The truth is, I’m just tired. Tired from lack of sleep. Tired from worry. Tired from my back hurting. Tired from trying to keep it all together for the kids. Tired from trying to force myself to just GET OVER IT already.

Tired of being tired of myself. It’s like the movie says, you know. No matter where you go, there you are.
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