November 5, 2005 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

It’s been kind of a long week. You know the sort of week where you have a million things going on and various sorts of angst over things you need to be handling and then you have half a dozen friends dealing with various things that make you say to yourself, “Self, it is about time to get over your own damn self because just LOOK at what these OTHER people are dealing with and not whining… well, okay, they ARE whining, and in fact whining TO ME, but they are ENTITLED, because they’re dealing with serious things and really your little bits of anxiety over work or the imaginary deadly disease you are busy diagnosing yourself with are really just small potatoes compared to these other things so kindly just SHUT UP and move on and have a fun-size Butterfinger or SOMETHING and just GET A GRIP,” that sort of week?

No?

Oh. Nevermind, then. It’s uh, been a long week. Full of… stuff. Normal stuff. Yeah.

Hey! How about that team? You know, the one that plays… uh… that sport!

Why are you looking at me like that??
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November 3, 2005 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

I know you’re all relieved to know that I recovered from my Mechanical Difficulty of yesterday. Who knew the Swiffer CarpetFlick was so high-tech?? Not me. Of course, I am rather gifted when it comes to producing a STUPID_USER_ON_DEVICE error on almost any machine….

(Oh, my. It’s been a long time since I made a nerdy engineering joke. I feel dirty.)

Anyway, I was VERY EXCITED to use my new CarpetFlick once I figured out that it wasn’t broken. Except that I had a bunch of other stuff to do today, like, I dunno, work, and try to get my daughter to confess to her latest misdeeds after I’ve already told her I know about them, and do laundry, because Monkey didn’t have any clean pants, and just, you know, stuff.

But finally I said, NO MORE. It is TIME TO FLICK, other responsibilities be damned!
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November 2, 2005 | Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

I believe I have just one mission on this planet, and that is to serve others. I comfort babies, I help old ladies across the street, I buy girl scout cookies purely because it helps those adorable tykes raise money, I let people send me free stuff!

Okay, I confess: I buy girl scout cookies because I like them.

But letting people send me free stuff, that’s completely altruistic. It makes them happy and I like to do my part in helping others, no matter the sacrifice to myself. It’s just my cross to bear, I suppose. If I have a flaw, it’s that I care TOO MUCH.

(I have no idea why my grandmother used to call me Sarah Heartburn….)
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November 1, 2005 | What do I do all day?

Today was the kind of day that makes you want to run out into the yard and play ring around the rosey with woodland creatures. Or I suspect it would, for people who aren’t dead inside and somewhat sluggish from the consumption of twelve pounds of candy in the last 24 hours. But suffice it to say that it’s not normally 70 degrees and sunny on November 1st, around here.

What I should’ve done today was rake leaves and tend to my yard. I considered it, actually. Then I came up with a whole list of things I’d rather do than rake. The list included such goodies as accidentally dye my hair black again, step on a rusty nail, cover myself in papercuts and bathe in lemon juice, and crack my elbow on the shelf in my shower. Wait. The cracking my elbow thing was just an accident this morning. And it hurt like hell. Anyway, I was not inclined to rake, because I know that soon all of that stuff with be underneath snow where no one can see it. And as we all know, things we cannot see don’t exist. Lalalala!
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