April 6, 2005 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony

It was 65 degrees outside today. Anyone visiting my site from Texas or Florida or anyplace warm is cordially invited to shut it; for us, this was a monumental day. Today was the first day this year where I could say with utter certainty that YES, winter is OVER.

[Pardon me while I take a brief pause to engage in the ceremonial springtime bonfire. Feel free to throw any salt-and-dirt-crusted snowpants onto the pyre, as well as any ice scrapers, warming cables, and the like that you wish to dispose of. Those little canisters of lock de-icer make a nice popping sound when they heat up, you know.]

Where was I? Oh yes! Warm! Lovely! And still light out after work/school. Doesn’t that sound like a nice day to ride bikes? I thought so! Because I am not very bright!
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April 5, 2005 | Haven't been hit by lightning yet!

The thing about hating everyone and everything is that it requires a lot of energy. I’m not saying I’m not up to the task, you understand; but it’s pretty hard to sustain, even for me. I have to stop and rest every so often. It’s just common sense.

So today, despite my best efforts to continue being a tremendous harpy towards those around me, I cheered up.

Damn.

But it wasn’t my fault. I’m only human.
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April 4, 2005 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony

Somehow–mixed up with my headache and my fever and my general discontent with the entire world–I feel like the issue Where The Kids Rank has been striking me a lot, recently.

Jay just wrote an interesting musing on the issue of kids vs. spouse, and a parenting community I belong to recently had a discussion about what it means to prioritize your kids and your marriage appropriately. Granted, I have no spouse to worry about in this equation, but it’s still an issue about which I have an intense curiosity (due in part to the fact that my own marriage started unravelling as soon as the kids hit the scene).

I know someone who often refers to one of their (young) kids as their “best friend.” It horrifies me. We’re supposed to raise our kids. We’re supposed to guide them. We’re supposed to model appropriate adult relationships. We’re supposed to provide for them and accept that the relationship is unequal by nature. The disservice visited upon a child who is imbued with such misplaced importance at such a young age… well, I’d not want to be bankrolling that therapy fund. (I know, I know; it’s too bad I can’t tell you how I really feel about that….)

But I do worry that I’m too far afield, myself.
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April 3, 2005 | Health is overrated

I hate it when I wake up with a migraine so intense, I lay in bed with a pillow over my head and whimper for a while before dragging myself into the (bright! too bright! TURN OFF THE SUN!) bathroom for my meds.

I hate it when I go back to sleep for a while, and when I wake up, my $&#^@! head still hurts.

I hate it when I force myself to get up and take a shower, and about halfway through my shower I realize there is no way I’m leaving the house.

I hate it when I’m trying to sleep with wet hair and my pillow’s all soggy.

I hate it when I miss church.

I hate it when I sleep all morning and still feel awful when I try to get up, later.

I hate it when I have to admit to my ex that I’m unwell, and ask him to please bring the kids back rather than forcing me to get in a car and try to drive like this.

I hate it when my daughter gets on the phone and sounds really pitiful and says “My head hurts, too, Mama. Real bad.”

I hate it when I ask my ex if he’s taken her temperature or given her any medicine, and he says they’re out right now.

I hate it that I have to suggest that maybe he should consider NOT BEING OUT because it appears that his child isn’t feeling well.

I hate it when I’m right, sometimes.
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April 2, 2005 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience"

I woke up this morning to the drone of pounding rain. Thanks to all the snow we had this winter, and the severity of this storm system, they’re predicting New England will be experiencing some of the worst flooding it’s had in years.

Then again, “a whole heckuva lotta rain” or even “moderate flooding” probably doesn’t make for a very sensational news story.

Regardless; I am not worried about washing away. The way I see it (and how exactly is that, you ask? Why, through my half-empty glass, of course!), that would be sort of calm and peaceful. And entirely unlike the day I have planned.
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