February 17, 2005 | Offspring: ecstasy and agony
(Or, My Words Often Come Back to Haunt Me.)
(Or–better still–The Reason I Put All My Spare Change Into the Therapy Fund.)
“Look! I wasn’t raised by wolves today; see how I turned the light off when I was done?”
“I know, I know, I’m the slowest creature on the planet!”
“Wow, that was a BIG one! I’m so charming!”
“I think I’ll just leave that there for the maid! Oh, wait… we don’t have a maid! Mama is the maid! Mama…? You look mad.”
“I already know the answer… we get to do it if we’ve been good. But that’s no fair because we haven’t been good and I still want to!”
“Well I was sort of hoping you just fell off the turnip truck because I think that might mean you’d believe me.”
“Why do you keep saying you don’t negotiate with terrorists? I’m just a little kid!”
“You should cry me a river! Cuz I’m thirsty!”
February 17th, 2005 at 6:58 pm
Ahahaha! My son parrots me all the time, but instead of showing that he’s LEARNED what my sarcasm means, he just gives it back straight.
Me: “Hey, pick up those shoes!”
Him: “Um, I am NOT your maid.”
Me: “I want to you come to dinner, now, please.”
Him: “People in Hell want ice water, don’mean they git it.”
Aaaaaargh.
February 17th, 2005 at 7:40 pm
Such smart children!
My favorite chickens-coming-home-to-roost quote:
“I’ll pick up the crayons *after* you put my milk in the purple cup [instead of the green cup].”
February 18th, 2005 at 8:39 am
I am SO using that terrorist line, ASAP.
February 18th, 2005 at 10:41 am
I loved the Charming one…
February 18th, 2005 at 8:55 pm
Mine is “Do I smell like turnips? I didn’t just fall of the turnip truck yesterday, you know.”
Love it. You rock.
February 18th, 2005 at 10:54 pm
Dear Lord, how I laughed my ass off.
And the realized that it’s only a matter of time…
February 20th, 2005 at 10:53 pm
no fair is always my favorite. I love how justice reduces to ‘immediate possession of everything that pleases me’ in a child’s eye.