February 14, 2005 | It's not a regret, it's an "experience"
Kudos to Hallmark for creating a day when people are obligated to express their love to those they cherish. Why settle for spontaneous, heartfelt declarations when you can have calendar-dictated purchasing of greeting cards, I say!
By the way, before anyone gets their panties in a wad (although I certainly hope they are satin panties with little hearts! For the love of all that is consumer-oriented!!), I wrote this post last night and future-dated it. I’m not blogging from work. As this is being published, I am probably napping at my desk.
Kidding. We have free coffee and it’s good. I couldn’t nap there if I wanted to. Also I think I’ll set this to publish at lunchtime. Go ahead; you read and I’ll eat my sandwich.
Where was I? Oh! Right. Love.
I can remember a Valentine’s Day when I was alone, and I dressed in black and spoke my disdain for the day and hung out with fellow singles and was fine.
I can remember a Valentine’s Day when I was with a man who tried very hard but consistently missed the mark. I was pleased that he tried.
I can remember a Valentine’s Day when I was alone and I didn’t want to be, and despair colored the edges of my world.
I can remember plenty of Valentine’s Days with my husband where I reminded myself that he was a good man and I tried to convince myself that the complete lack of romance in our relationship wasn’t a big deal.
I can remember a Valentine’s Day when the man I loved told me that he wondered if I didn’t love him more than he loved me. It turned out he was right.
I will remember this Valentine’s Day as one that came and went with no outward fanfare. I will remember that my daughter snored quietly as I pulled the blankets up over her the night before, and that my son had an endless grin and icy feet when he climbed into bed with me in the morning. I will remember that someone occupied my thoughts in the best possible way, and that I was on someone’s mind as well. I will remember that I presented the “pizza for both lunch and dinner” snafu to my children as if it was planned and a huge treat.
I will remember it as the year I learned to risk and to let go sometimes, and relearned to love and be loved.
February 14th, 2005 at 12:36 pm
You know my feelings on this stupid holiday. I just CAN’T bring myself to show more affection for my husband than usual because Hallmark told me I have to.
That being said, I’m off to make Vday cookies with my kid…
What can I say?
I’m a softie.
February 14th, 2005 at 1:20 pm
awww….
I’ll have to tell you all about my horrid Vday history sometime…go check our mutual hang out and I’ll spill there…
*grin*
February 14th, 2005 at 2:01 pm
Sneaky little hobbitses, making post-thing during lunch hour.
February 14th, 2005 at 3:23 pm
You sacriligious motherfuckers. Don’t you know that St. Valentine died for your SINS???
Oh, no, wait - that was the other guy…
February 14th, 2005 at 4:04 pm
All in all a pretty good year!
And lest you forget,(I said in my best olde English): your trend line is very positive.
Growth is good, and by the way, Happy Valentine’s Day.
February 14th, 2005 at 5:14 pm
Happy Valentines Day Sistah!
February 14th, 2005 at 6:26 pm
Happy valentines to you and your precious angels.
February 14th, 2005 at 6:57 pm
Happy Valentines Day!
Hope it was a good one!
February 14th, 2005 at 8:48 pm
Beautifully written! I too can remember so many different emotions on different valentines days. The best hve been since I had my daughter though, because the love I feel for her is so immense!
February 14th, 2005 at 11:16 pm
Awww.
(I admit to looking for your dad’s comment right away today. Nice to see him happy for you. Nice to see you happy too.)
February 15th, 2005 at 12:47 pm
not that it makes your v-day experience any better, but in support of your anti-corporate “don’t tell me what or when or who to love and how to express it” stance, my valentine’s day gift to my wife was a trip to a nursery. She wasn’t interested in cards, candy, or flowers (except those she buys herself to plant - i.e. trip to nursery). This may play against your angst about having a husband who wasn’t romantic, but in my defense my wife had 3 hours of dental work yesterday morning and wasn’t in the mood for anything but pain killers.
take that, hallmark.