Archive for November, 2004
We regret to inform the readership at Woulda Coulda Shoulda that your intrepid narrator has suffered a rather serious injury and may be unavailable for the immediate future.
Early this afternoon, her brain exploded. Nasty business.
The circumstances cannot be discussed here; suffice it to say that a quick trip to the calendar to confirm the year (still 2004, as far as I know), and the resultant cognitive dissonance created between the date and the nature of the information before her, caused a complete meltdown and subsequent explosion of all brain matter.
Let it be noted for the record that said circumstances caused one normally reserved father to utter the following: “Unfuckingbelievable.”
Mir will be recovering from this injury during her time in the Witness Protection Program. Immediate enrollment was deemed necessary. We could tell you more, but then we’d have to kill you.
Posted by Mir @
3:04 pm |
You know it’s going to be a long day when you’ve said all the following by 8:00 AM:
“Please don’t stick your fingers up my nose.”
“Yes, you’re right, they do make a funny hat, but now I would like you to put your underwear on properly, please.”
“Yes, with toothpaste.”
“Is everything okay in your pants?”
“I would like to meet this ‘Not Me’ fellow and have a talk with him. Tell him to come see me the next time he’s around.”
“Be quiet and eat your pop-tart.” (Remember the days before children, when you and I and everyone else swore never to feed such dreck to our kids?)
“Stop. Talking. Please.”
“Hold still, you have gunk in your eyes.”
Posted by Mir @
8:21 am |
The time has come (the walrus said… don’t call me a walrus unless you’re hoping to be smacked, however) for me to take Any Job. As you all know, I passed Dream Job long ago. I spent some time looking for Pretty Good Job, and after a while settled into the search for Acceptable Job. Now? Any Job.
Wanna know why? Well, I had this fabulous back-up plan, you see. Part of the job issue is that I cannot work later than about 3:30 and still get Chickadee off the bus, and I cannot afford to pay for aftercare for her unless I get a job that actually pays well. A dear friend of mine who is a teacher has been urging me to sign up to substitute teach at the elementary schools.
This is an ideal solution, on a number of levels:
1) They are so desperate for subs in our district, they hire anyone.
2) The pay is not as horrible as you’d think.
3) I wouldn’t need any additional care for Chickadee.
4) I wouldn’t have to work on days that school is closed.
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Posted by Mir @
5:48 pm |
Y’all, Jay is too modest to say anything self-promoting in his recent post. But lucky for all of us, I am not nearly so demure.
My life is not so very grand right now, in many ways. I mean, yes, I have my health, my kids, wonderful friends. But so much of my day-to-day feels like treading water, often. I used to live a life of accomplishments. Now? A life of waiting.
BUT!
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Posted by Mir @
12:06 pm |
Sometimes, I think I’m not capable of parenting my children in a way that will shepherd them into adulthood, happy and healthy. Particularly with Chickadee. I say she’s complicated, which is sort of like saying that skunks have a slight odor or that there are a few stars in the galaxy. Ahem.
Anyway, my children love stories. They will listen with rapt attention to any sort of tale, either real or imagined. But their absolutely favorite stories are personal anecdotes about my misbehavior as a child. They beg to hear certain stories over and over. And in catering to them, and retelling these tales? I’ve realized that I deserve every nanosecond of grief that these children present me.
I was a nightmare. A small sampling of the stories my kids like best:
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Posted by Mir @
9:08 pm |
… kinda been a bitch to someone figuring it will make them go away, and it backfires and sort of endears you to them and then you start rethinking the whole “make them go away” thing because what’s not to like about someone who likes you even when you’re being a pain in the ass?
No?
Oh. Me neither.
Look! Over there! Something shiny!
Posted by Mir @
4:32 pm |
As Alektra noted, I can now bid Safari users a hearty welcome. Welcome, Safari users! I do adore Mac users, as they are warm and fuzzy and crunchy and granola-y all at the same time, and I did not mean to exclude you from using my pretty, pretty new site. With a little help… okay, a LOT of help from a kind samaritan, I managed to fix the problems that were weirding out Safari. So! Now! I present Woulda Coulda Shoulda, now with more Macalicious goodness! There are some other little code quirks I’m still working out here and there, so always feel free to let me know when something looks wonky. Really, it’s okay to make me cry….
More reasons we can all admire and adore me today:
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Posted by Mir @
9:19 am |
Who’s going to the movies today? Go on, guess!
If you guessed NOT ME, you are 100% correct!
I’ve decided the only way to assuage my disappointment over not getting to see The Incredibles today is to write, direct, and star in my own movie. I will be shamelessly ripping off the plot from The Incredibles, because I’m ambitious but not all that creative.
The Intractables is a laugh-a-minute romp featuring the world’s grumpiest family, called upon to behave normally for a mere 24 hours in order to attain the ultimate goal: getting to go to the movies.
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Posted by Mir @
12:37 pm |
As in, just handed to me on a teeny piece of paper with even teenier writing:
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Posted by Mir @
6:18 pm |
Come on in, take off your shoes, and make yourself at home. I’m a lousy hostess but there’s bound to be some snacks around here, somewhere.
So, you like? I have been working like a busy busy little beaver with a generous allotment of help from both Jay and Zoot. Go show those two some loooooove because I know I’m feeling it! All of my dreams about moving off of Blogger have become a reality thanks to them!
Please change your blogrolls and bookmarks to http://wouldashoulda.com/ and kiss the Blogger site good-bye. I jest. Do not kiss Blogger; it does not deserve your love. Thumb your nose at it. If you’re not feeling that childish, just kind of give it the cold shoulder.
I have migrated all my old posts but the migration process is a gigantic hack and so there will be weirdness with some of them. Sorry. Deal with it. (Did I mention I’m a lousy hostess? Have some chips and shut up.) Also, there’s no way to migrate Haloscan comments, so even my most brilliant and witty posts appear to be neglected and ignored here, but oh well.
And now, let the love flow and the settling in commence. I may even get back to actually writing about stuff sometime soon. If I ever stop admiring my pretty, pretty site.
Posted by Mir @
6:00 am |
